Stuck in my first home

Running_Horse

I was in my first house for nineteen years which was probably ten years too long. Partly due to negative equity, partly low income, and mostly apathy. In the end you have two choices. Make the move, or make the most of what you have. Life is too short to get depressed or blame others for your own mistakes. At least by staying there and reducing the mortgage I was making the move to my current lovely house possible.

Mozette

Why not get a DIY-ish and improve the kitchen etc (decorating can be done pretty cheaply if needs be). This might help you in the short term if your surroundings are better, and might help you to sell it.

Being stuck on your own when everyone else seems to be havng a life is a pain, I know, but if that's the way it is, that's the way it is. Read books, watch telly, go to the pictures, concerts, the theatre. There's loads of stuff you can do on your own.

Above all, remember the words of the prophet Jagger: "You can't always get what you want"

Mozette

anoneemouse wrote: »

I know what you mean Pastures New....this isnt the position I'm in....I'm still working on being out there in the Big Wide World...but I do know what you are talking about...but at least you and I arent going to be adding to the divorce rate because we've married the wrong person..in order to get together with "someone/anyone/the best we could get". This is part of the problem though...in that I sometimes/often wonder whether I should have married "the best I could get" and then I would have had a decent house in a decent neighbourhood....rather than this one....

No:eek: Really. I did that.

anoneemouse wrote: »

Its alright...I'll just remind myself how fast I would probably have been divorced if I had done that.:rolleyes:

Mine was over in 3 weeks. Getting divorced takes a bit longer, but really, don't just marry someone because you think they will 'do'.

anoneemouse

There's been a postscript to this thread - I guess the only positive angle to that is that does tend to confirm that this area my house is in isnt very appropriate for me I suppose.

Theres obviously been a bit of garden theft going on round here - which I was unaware of - wish I still was....

Reason...a policeman has asked ME (huh! who? how?) whether it was ME - in fact had a distinctly accusatory tone of voice assuming it was!!!!!!!!!!. I think you can understand the capital letters - total positive shock and surprise at anyone ever thinking that for one second!!!! I suppose at least he had the grace to admit that he could see it obviously wasnt anything to do with me by the end of the conversation. I didnt even realise that this had been happening - and its bad enough that this has been happening in my area - but to then have that happening....I think you could safely say I was gobsmacked - and VERY VERY upset that anyone ever anywhere could even think that about me.

(postscript: I take HUGE pride in how honest/responsible/etc I am - well....I suppose thats where the phrase comes from "Pride comes before a downfall". It was so so obvious to ME (and everyone who knows me personally) that I'm just not capable of anything remotely criminal - I'm far too honest for that that I just took it totally for granted that it was very obvious to everyone everywhere at all times that of course I'm a decent/law-abiding person. So - right now - I'm sitting here thinking "and thats another thing thats happened because I live in this area - that episode. I wouldnt be so upset right now if I lived in a better area - as that wouldnt have happened to me". I'm sitting here right now thinking "try not to take it personally - you are very far from being a spring chicken and I presume that many honest people have an episode like that somewhere in their life somewhere along the line."

Right now though - I'm thinking even more than normal "Why oh why do I live in this area? If I lived in a decent area this would never have happened to me". I am horrified that the thought could even cross anyones mind that I might be involved in anything remotely criminal.! Go on - cheer me up....are there any other honest/law-abiding citizens out there - but living in a good area - that have found themselves involved in an episode like that, despite being in a decent area?

You would just cheer me up so much right now if you can tell me this happened to you too.

PasturesNew

anoneemouse wrote: »

....are there any other honest/law-abiding citizens out there - but living in a good area - that have found themselves involved in an episode like that, despite being in a decent area?

You would just cheer me up so much right now if you can tell me this happened to you too.

I chose this area because it looked OK... and mostly it is. There were gangs of chavs that would cut through on their way home at night, but their throughroute was cut off a few months back and the disruption stopped .... until this week.

Last weekend there was a burglary in a house in the next road (fence is on my road, they got over that fence just 50 feet from here) - and one night this week about 50-70 cars had their tyres slashed. Then last night a wheely bin was moved ... OK, no harm done on that one but it's annoying isn't it. Luckily it wasn't mine so I don't feel persecuted.

I'm more honest than the day is long.

PasturesNew

anoneemouse wrote: »

I know what you mean Pastures New....this isnt the position I'm in....I'm still working on being out there in the Big Wide World...but I do know what you are talking about...but at least you and I arent going to be adding to the divorce rate because we've married the wrong person..in order to get together with "someone/anyone/the best we could get". This is part of the problem though...in that I sometimes/often wonder whether I should have married "the best I could get" and then I would have had a decent house in a decent neighbourhood....rather than this one....

Its alright...I'll just remind myself how fast I would probably have been divorced if I had done that.:rolleyes:

If I'd married the best I could get, I'd have damned well MADE him keep me in the style to which I could quickly become accustomed.

Jennifer_Jane

I've done this, my first house is now in an area designated as a World regeneration site! Or similar! I was far from colleagues, friends, a social life in a little suburban area, when I was quite young.

I changed jobs/areas and HAD to move (yes there was a recession on too). All I can say to you is:

a) You can tell yourself that you should be cheering up because there are worse off people, but that's not going to solve your problem and you can't do anything about it, so I would say - don't feel guilty or defensive that you are down.

b) The recession will be over at some stage, and you will have saved up more money. Just try to have a plan to get you out of this as soon as you can.

And, for the record, I am also stuck in my house, having had two chains which fell through, and having lost my dream house. Is there anything which will give you some joy in the house (I spend £30 on hanging plants and potted plants every year, and they give me quite a bit of joy. If you can't afford to decorate it a little bit, is there something that you could treat yourself to in the house?)

PS - We all go through these low times, I hope it will pass for you, but watch it in case you are actually depressed.

Good for you for posting. You should be receiving support on the Board, not criticism - you're doing a grand job of criticising yourself!

Chin up!

anoneemouse

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'm more honest than the day is long.

That fact comes across quite clearly on reading your posts - so I reckon you can understand why I am so upset at anyone thinking otherwise for one second. To us - it is so obvious that we are honest that we take it for granted that it will be equally obvious to everyone else. Mainly it is - this is the first time this has happened to me.

anoneemouse

Jennifer

You have got me thinking there. Thank you for the support.

I am now wondering whether that "something" to cheer the house up might be a consideration. Maybe a nice cheap picture or something. I will think about that.

PasturesNew

In stalking through your posts, I see you've also experienced workmen that do the wrong job in your house. I know that can be soul destroying.

Yours turned up with the wrong colour stuff.

I had this sort of thing happen to me in my last house too.... you spend months/years, planning a little job that you know will make it all so much better, then along comes this bodger and f*cks it up.

I had a light beech vanity unit/sink fitted in one corner. Got it from Argos, builder was good, but mucked it up. Having mucked it up (I think he cut the back out wrong round the skirting), he decided to get another piece of skirting board, fit that down that side - and then stain it an odd colour. But what can you do! Bugg4hs, the lot of them.

Then there was the tiler who did the kitchen floor tiles. Eventually he finished, then he wiped over it all with water/stuff (?) and said he'd be back the next day ... only he wasn't. And whatever it was it never cleaned off. So I never got the lovely tiled floor I had waited 4 years for. It had this film over it like a very weak solution of grout.... and I even tried some specialist stuff and some acid washes on it - no different. Completely spoilt my enjoyment and it's just another tiny nail in the coffin of enjoyment.