Guest dilemma - money instead of pressies...how much to give???

glitterjunkie

Hey lovely weddings people! I didn't actually know there was a wedding forum on here until did a search - I will have to start contributing more

I just have a question regarding a wedding we're going to next month, where the bride and groom have asked for money. I've read through the thread below on whether it's right or wrong or not, which made some interesting reading! lol. (My tuppence worth, if anyone's interested, is that I don't mind people asking for money at all if you're going to the wedding all day...it's better than buying something which won't be wanted or used. BUT I don't think I like being asked for either money or pressies when only invited to the night do I'm getting married next year and we'll probably have a gift list, but it's only going in with the daytime invites!

Anyway, with that rant over... me and OH have been invited to the evening do of someone from work next month, and there was a rhyme thing inside the invitation asking for money. My question really is just, how much do you think is right to give? I honestly have no clue how much is expected. If it was the daytime I'd probably give £50-£60 between us, but I'm not sure at all for the evening. It doesn't help that this particular bride keeps dropping hints at work about people being tight with her wedding money - it's all making me a bit uncomfortable to be honest, and I'm worrying far too much about it! I thought if I could get a better idea of what people think is the right amount to give, it might stop me worrying that we're giving too much/too little! Any thought appreciated x

Lish_2

I think anyone who drops 'hints' about people being tight with giving money is a bit cheeky! The thing she ought to remember that is that the downside about requesting money instead of presents is that people give what they want to give and so if she had certain expectations then she couldve always had a wedding list and chosen what she wanted from it- that way she gets what she wants and cant complain at people being 'tight!' Her loss!
(personally I think £30 or £35 is perfectly acceptable if you are only going to the evening do but thats just my opinion!) x

Horace

If the cheeky mare keeps dropping hints about wedding money then give her nowt. I know that when my cousin got married back in September (he had lived over the brush with his fiancee) he asked for comet vouchers - I sent him £20 of high street vouchers which could be used in comet, I didnt go to his wedding because it was in Hawaii:rolleyes::D

As she is a work colleague then give her nowt or buy a goat from oxfam - at least a goat is more useful to someone in Africa or wherever.

IWantToBeFree_2

If it is someone from work and not a close friend I would give no more than £20.

Rachel85

Is anyone else from your work going, or might anyone else who's not going like to chip in a few quid? If so perhaps you could do a collection and then just give her whatever you collect between all of you? I bet there are other people thinking the same.

We got married recently and lots of people who just came to the evening only brought cards (which I was happy with as I would much rather have had them there than their money any day). Some people were kind enough to give us vouchers, but we're talking a minority and no more than £20 worth. Unless you're very well off or you are very close to this person then I'd not give any more than that, if anything at all.

elsien

How much would you have spent on a prezzie? I'd say go for the same amount - in my case £20 max ( less if it was just someone from work.)
They should be grateful for whatever they get, especially with so many out of work at the moment.

*Louise*

For a night time 'do' - £20, but more if it was a closer friend

bubblegumcola

I think the bride needs to get back down to earth pronto!

At the end of the day give what you feel is appropriate and that you can afford, I'd say it depends if you know her well or not. Why is she expecting money? Does she have an affordable wedding list you could choose something from? Our wedding list we had a mixture, from kitchen utensils for a quid or two to stuff for hundreds. I was happy with the mixture of bits and bobs we got and not everyone buys from the list so we got some off the list and some really unexpected but lovely gifts. My favourite gift for a wedding is a photo frame, nice wood or silver one and the department stores have nice ones which are not expensive. It's the thought that counts not how much was spent.

If she really is making too big a deal about it I wouldn't give her anything, it doesn't sound like she is going to appreciate it.

mrshaigh2b1987

if i was u id give no more than £20 if ur quite close with them maybe £30/£35 xxx

Neeny82

I echo the above! No more than £20 - she sould feel lucky she's getting that!

Belease

I'm going to ask for money, but I hope to do it in a way that makes people feel they're being more constructive, rather than throwing money in a big old empty pot. I'm going on honeymoon with it, so I'll be writing a list like this (but more elaborately done, this is just rough):

Buy us a cocktail : £3.95
Treat us to a fancy lunch: £60
Let us try some tasty local cuisine: £30

Etc etc etc. That way, I don't think you'd feel as confused about what is the 'right' amount to give. It can be really confusing.

She is a bit cheeky to be asking people for cash - I guess it's so easy to get carried away with everything though. Bridal forums are a bit difficult in that respect as they sort of give you permission to be a bit of a diva thanks to everyone else acting the same way - maybe she's been letting it go to her head!

I'd say £20 sounds right - I guess the bad thing about asking for cash is that it sort of makes it sound like you're covering the cost of your own attendance! Ask her how much the buffet is and double it! ;0)