Scared, depressed and skint

Bogof_Babe

qwertyuiop12345 wrote: »

When a poster is clearly in a bad state or feeling very down about their situation and they haven't actually asked a specific question, then in my opinion sympathy/empathy/good wishes etc. is the only appropriate response.

In most cases, posts on this board that aren't asking for specific advice are generally moved to DT. We are always being told that this board is for people needing specific advice about benefits.

You aren't obliged to answer every thread

I rarely answer any on this board, but this one caught my attention and I had a point of view on it. Apologies if this breaks any unwritten rules (or any written ones that I am not aware of).

baza52

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

He was 88 and had leukaemia. Even that is treatable to a certain extent - he prolonged his life by about a year by taking his chemo tablets and having blood transfusions. I acknowledge that the body is not designed to last indefinitely, but I still can't get my head around people giving up on ever getting cured from something that must make them bl00dy miserable.

How do you find the mental capacity to write these posts, if you are too ill to consider making any other sort of effort?

I didn't think I was "digging" (a hole for myself, presumably), I was under the impression that we were airing our views.

treatable to a certain extent. he still died tho so the treatment just prolonged his life.
Anxiety/depression or panic attacks are also treatable to a certain extent but not a cure.

How many people go through life being scared of flying or spiders, heights, water to name but a few but never seek any treatment for it as they adapt their lifes to avoid these situations.

People with anxiety also adapt their lives accordingly.

now im sure YOU have a few phobias that youve gone through your life without seeking treatment for.

Bogof_Babe

Yep, I am scared of flying, but I'm going to get on a plane at the end of August for our holidays, because my OH wants to go. I haven't had "treatment", I have just told myself firmly to get a grip.

baza52

i knew you would give that reply.
I also dont like flying but do on a regular basis and they are 10+ hour flights.

Imagine the fear you experience when being on the plane waiting for the engines to roar as you take off, then imagine being at the checkout in sainsburys or sat at home with your feet up watching corrie when the same feeling comes over you for no reason.
Its easier to cope with a short flight to majorca as you know your gonna be fine the minute you land and have a holiday to look forward to. Whats the longest flight youve been on.
Imagine if something happened on the flight and you needed to make an emergency landing and you were absolutely distraught and frightened, would you still fly again or perhaps look at eurostar and a ferry???

Oldernotwiser

bestpud wrote: »

I see your point too, but have to point out depression and anxiety (when at the level of panic attacks) are very different animals, and I'd choose depression any day, having had experience of both.

Luckily for me, I found that Seroxat helped with both; unluckily it's a real !!!!!! to come off.

Oldernotwiser

baza52 wrote: »

treatable to a certain extent. he still died tho so the treatment just prolonged his life.
Anxiety/depression or panic attacks are also treatable to a certain extent but not a cure.

How many people go through life being scared of flying or spiders, heights, water to name but a few but never seek any treatment for it as they adapt their lifes to avoid these situations.

People with anxiety also adapt their lives accordingly.

now im sure YOU have a few phobias that youve gone through your life without seeking treatment for.

I have a phobia about flying and haven't flown since the 70s but I don't think that adapting to anxiety by not working for years is the same thing at all. This is particularly the case for people who find that they still suffer from the same symptoms, even when not at work.

As I said before, the treatment/adaptation isn't proving a useful strategy when this is the case.

bestpud

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Luckily for me, I found that Seroxat helped with both; unluckily it's a real !!!!!! to come off.

Yes, that's one of the worst for withdrawals!

It helped my mum a lot though and she had no withdrawal problems at all.

It's all a balancing act I guess.

Therapy worked a treat with my anxiety and I do wish there was more help available for those that want it.

baza52

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I have a phobia about flying and haven't flown since the 70s but I don't think that adapting to anxiety by not working for years is the same thing at all. This is particularly the case for people who find that they still suffer from the same symptoms, even when not at work.

As I said before, the treatment/adaptation isn't proving a useful strategy when this is the case.

its not just about working tho is it.
I had a well paid job working in banking in the city when out of the blue i started getting very bad anxiety and panic attacks.
I had time off work and when returning after a few weeks i found it allmost impossible to get the train/tube as i felt trapped and very uncomfortable. some days i had to get off 2 or 3 times but i made it there. The medication did help for a couple of months and i was able to return to work.
6 or so months later it happened again resulting in a few more weeks off.
This time it was even worse than before and produced a variety of real symptoms. people would look at me on a train and see the look of terror in my face and the beads of sweat on my forehead.

Eventually i was made redundant and it took a weight off my shoulders.
that was 7 years ago now.

In those 7 years it has changed my life considerably.

boredmarriedwithkids

Are any of us really qualified as clinical psychologists here!

I'm not sure that speculating on what may or may not be the correct course of action for somewhat from a clinical view point is the real purpose of this thread??

Surely objective and rational posts to help spring chicken resolve their issues are more important at this point to help achieve a bit of clarity and suggest a course of action, however small the suggestion is!!!

Can we keep a bit of perspective here folks please?

bestpud

boredmarriedwithkids wrote: »

Are any of us really qualified as clinical psychologists here!

I'm not sure that speculating on what may or may not be the correct course of action for somewhat from a clinical view point is the real purpose of this thread??

Surely objective and rational posts to help spring chicken resolve their issues are more important at this point to help achieve a bit of clarity and suggest a course of action, however small the suggestion is!!!

Can we keep a bit of perspective here folks please?

I agree.

However, the OP has been turned down for benefits and deemed fit enough to work - not by us but a doctor.

Now they are struggling financially, and no doubt adding to their anxiety and depression with significant money worries, so have come in here to ask what they can do.

And in that respect, it is relevant to suggest work as an option.

I mean, short of applying again, benefits are not an option and the OP hasn't responded to posts suggesting they may get help with their illness.

And all the virtual hugs in the world will not resolve their financial worries...

What do you suggest for the OP?