Scared, depressed and skint

Bogof_Babe

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but to my way of looking at it, if someone has been unwell enough to be housebound for a number of years, then there is something chemically wrong in their psyche, in which case surely the medical profession should be able to correct, or at least improve it.

Welshsue I would suggest that whatever meds you are on are not right for your own condition, and in your shoes I'd be begging the doctor to try something else. One of my friends was worse on Prozac, but was then prescribed something else and the improvement was remarkable.

I'm afraid to the outside observer these posts about how nothing will change anything do smack of the sufferer having given up on any prospect of getting better.

I couldn't see why the poster who suggested getting out for some fresh air was shot down in flames. I'm sure wallowing in your own misery is absolutely the worst thing for people suffering these disorders. Sometimes you just have to confront your demons rather than letting them drag you even further down. Being confined to the house indefinitely would depress anyone, and we all feel anxious on occasions when confronted with a challenge or the unknown, but we can and should make a huge effort so that whatever it is isn't allowed to control us and waste our lives. Once you've managed a small thing (e.g. answering the phone), it will build your confidence for the next challenge. One of my primary school teachers always used to say "there's no such word as can't".

If there really is no medical intervention that works, it starts to beg the question as to whether these anxious, depressed people actually want to be helped, or are they content to spend their lives in the twilight zone. The OP and the post above make me sad that there seems to be no ambition to get back into leading a full, healthy life, just an attitude of despair and having given up.

I know there are waiting lists for counselling, but at least get yourself on one. What I'm saying is, either you are clinically ill, in which case with your GP's guidance explore every avenue for a cure, or you are not clinically ill, in which case fight it for all you are worth. It's your life you're wasting, and we only get one.

I now await the tirade of angry responses... (well actually I don't as I'm going out, but will be back later!).

welshmoneylover

Well said Bogof_Babe.

It's about the most sensible post I've read on here in ages.

bestpud

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but to my way of looking at it, if someone has been unwell enough to be housebound for a number of years, then there is something chemically wrong in their psyche, in which case surely the medical profession should be able to correct, or at least improve it.

Welshsue I would suggest that whatever meds you are on are not right for your own condition, and in your shoes I'd be begging the doctor to try something else. One of my friends was worse on Prozac, but was then prescribed something else and the improvement was remarkable.

I'm afraid to the outside observer these posts about how nothing will change anything do smack of the sufferer having given up on any prospect of getting better.

I couldn't see why the poster who suggested getting out for some fresh air was shot down in flames. I'm sure wallowing in your own misery is absolutely the worst thing for people suffering these disorders. Sometimes you just have to confront your demons rather than letting them drag you even further down. Being confined to the house indefinitely would depress anyone, and we all feel anxious on occasions when confronted with a challenge or the unknown, but we can and should make a huge effort so that whatever it is isn't allowed to control us and waste our lives. Once you've managed a small thing (e.g. answering the phone), it will build your confidence for the next challenge. One of my primary school teachers always used to say "there's no such word as can't".

If there really is no medical intervention that works, it starts to beg the question as to whether these anxious, depressed people actually want to be helped, or are they content to spend their lives in the twilight zone. The OP and the post above make me sad that there seems to be no ambition to get back into leading a full, healthy life, just an attitude of despair and having given up.

I know there are waiting lists for counselling, but at least get yourself on one. What I'm saying is, either you are clinically ill, in which case with your GP's guidance explore every avenue for a cure, or you are not clinically ill, in which case fight it for all you are worth. It's your life you're wasting, and we only get one.

I now await the tirade of angry responses... (well actually I don't as I'm going out, but will be back later!).

Now, I am kind of on the fence with this one!

I agree it is not helpful for anyone to consider themselves incurable and one of the worst aspects of depression is it limits ability to do the very things that have been proved to be helpful.

I can also see how it is frustrating for someone with no experience of an illness like this when they see someone say they cannot overcome it - because it all seems so simple when you are looking in from the outside, doesn't it?

However, it isn't as simple as 'facing your demons'; really it isn't!

It is not just a bad case of nerves or butterflies in the stomach when someone suffers from anxiety. The symptoms are very physical and it is is extremely difficult to convince yourself you will not drop down dead when you cannot breathe and your heart is racing so fast you think it will pop out of your chest. And that is just two of the symptoms.

On top of that is the fact many people simply do not understand the issue and are therefore judgemental, which only serves to make the problem worse.

But, as I said, I believe it can be overcome (because I have) but it is not as easy as you are making out.

I don't think there is anywhere near enough help out there personally, and of course, there will always be those who prefer to stick with the disorder than go through the hell that is recovery, but that doesn't give us the right to tell people their illness is somehow not real - it is very real for those suffering it.

willa

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but to my way of looking at it, if someone has been unwell enough to be housebound for a number of years, then there is something chemically wrong in their psyche, in which case surely the medical profession should be able to correct, or at least improve it.

Welshsue I would suggest that whatever meds you are on are not right for your own condition, and in your shoes I'd be begging the doctor to try something else. One of my friends was worse on Prozac, but was then prescribed something else and the improvement was remarkable.

I'm afraid to the outside observer these posts about how nothing will change anything do smack of the sufferer having given up on any prospect of getting better.

I couldn't see why the poster who suggested getting out for some fresh air was shot down in flames. I'm sure wallowing in your own misery is absolutely the worst thing for people suffering these disorders. Sometimes you just have to confront your demons rather than letting them drag you even further down. Being confined to the house indefinitely would depress anyone, and we all feel anxious on occasions when confronted with a challenge or the unknown, but we can and should make a huge effort so that whatever it is isn't allowed to control us and waste our lives. Once you've managed a small thing (e.g. answering the phone), it will build your confidence for the next challenge. One of my primary school teachers always used to say "there's no such word as can't".

If there really is no medical intervention that works, it starts to beg the question as to whether these anxious, depressed people actually want to be helped, or are they content to spend their lives in the twilight zone. The OP and the post above make me sad that there seems to be no ambition to get back into leading a full, healthy life, just an attitude of despair and having given up.

I know there are waiting lists for counselling, but at least get yourself on one. What I'm saying is, either you are clinically ill, in which case with your GP's guidance explore every avenue for a cure, or you are not clinically ill, in which case fight it for all you are worth. It's your life you're wasting, and we only get one.

I now await the tirade of angry responses... (well actually I don't as I'm going out, but will be back later!).

Well Bogof_Babe, perhaps logically there is another possibility. Perhaps the medical profession do not have all the answers to every physical/chemical illness? I think many doctors would agree that this is the case. It sounds like Welshsue has tried a few avenues, at least in terms of dosage, so you are being slightly presumptuous about her history. The way you refer to 'these anxious depressed people' suggests that you have no personal experience to speak from yourself, thus bringing into question the validity of your views and judgements.
:rolleyes:

bestpud

willa wrote: »

Well Bogof_Babe, perhaps logically there is another possibility. Perhaps the medical profession do not have all the answers to every physical/chemical illness? I think many doctors would agree that this is the case. It sounds like Welshsue has tried a few avenues, at least in terms of dosage, so you are being slightly presumptuous about her history. The way you refer to 'these anxious depressed people' suggests that you have no personal experience to speak from yourself, thus bringing into question the validity of your views and judgements.
:rolleyes:

I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with you willa, especially the bit I have highlighted! I think I need a lie down... :rotfl:

Bogof_Babe

I will concede that I have no experience of long-term depression, and that I have no medical knowledge. My post was simply my thoughts on the subject, gleaned from a little personal knowledge of friends who have responded well to anti-depressants (and knowing of none who haven't).

I have had plenty to be depressed about during my 57 years, including a stressful job, a marriage separation (thankfully temporary), and nursing my father through a horrible last illness, but by following my own advice I have not let myself become a martyr to it.

It's a pity that sufferers become so defensive when any attempt is made to suggest things that might help, but perhaps defensiveness goes with the condition.

By posting on this site people open themselves up to comments, some of which they might not appreciate. I have just re-read the original post, and it doesn't seem to be asking for any specific advice as such, so it does seem to invite general replies.

willa

bestpud wrote: »

I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with you willa, especially the bit I have highlighted! I think I need lie down... :rotfl:

:beer: :rotfl:

baza52

having a stressfull job or a stressfull life does not cause anxiety/depression.
are you now saying its down to whether you let yourself become a martyr to it and its not a chemical thing??

when you nursed your father through his illness did you tell him to snap out of it and pull himself together?
did you tell him he should not have let himself get soo ill?
did you say that other people with a similar lifestyle to him havent got the illness and he should perhaps borrow a dog to walk to get some fresh air?

as you pointed out that you have NO experience of depression (long term) perhaps you should stop digging this hole for yourself.

willa

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I will concede that I have no experience of long-term depression, and that I have no medical knowledge. My post was simply my thoughts on the subject, gleaned from a little personal knowledge of friends who have responded well to anti-depressants (and knowing of none who haven't).

I have had plenty to be depressed about during my 57 years, including a stressful job, a marriage separation (thankfully temporary), and nursing my father through a horrible last illness, but by following my own advice I have not let myself become a martyr to it.

It's a pity that sufferers become so defensive when any attempt is made to suggest things that might help, but perhaps defensiveness goes with the condition.

By posting on this site people open themselves up to comments, some of which they might not appreciate. I have just re-read the original post, and it doesn't seem to be asking for any specific advice as such, so it does seem to invite general replies.

Depression is a complex subject. Some people can endure horrible events and not become clinically depressed. Others can become horribly clinically depressed with no external causative factors. Differences in predispositions and brain chemistry.

I think that suggestions of things that might help often underestimate the condition/intelligence of the person who is on the receiving end of the suggestions.

Oldernotwiser

Well, I do have experience of suffering from depression, although I certainly don't have all the answers, either for myself or anyone else.

However, I do think that if someone has been out of the workplace for many years as a way of coping with the depression and if that way of dealing with things hasn't worked, then maybe it's worthwhile trying another tack, in other words perhaps one might be better off trying to work again.

If being off work was actually working as a way of improving things then surely one would be less depressed IYSWIM?