Need Help! Council had a "tip off" i am living at my girlfriends

Nenen

NewFoundGlory wrote: »

Really don't understand what personal reasons would stop your parents signing a form/making a short visit to the Job Centre for the benefit of their grandson. I believe this sticking point is what is making people dubious regarding the situation.

This assumes that all grandparents care about their grandchildren, which unfortunately is certainly not the case. If, for whatever reason, the OP's parents hate the GF (justified or not) they may prefer to have nothing to do with her and deny their grandchild in the process.

I have no idea what the real facts are but I could quite easily imagine a scenario that would 'fit' with the OP telling the truth.... here is my imaginary scenario:

Young OP (not sure why but I imagine the OP is still very young, maybe early 20s and probably teenager when he met his gf) meets young girl and his parents dislike her as they consider her 'beneath him' socially/educationally (not that I'm condoning anyone with that sort of attitutde but I know it happens). OP's parents try to do everything they can to get the OP to end the relationship. Gf, understandably feels aggrieved that OP's parents make it clear what they think of her and relationship between gf and op's parents is very strained. Gf gets pregnant, OP's parents horrified and try to insinuate she's done it deliberatley to 'trap' him and make all sorts of accusations about her being a scrounger on the state. They insist OP has to chose beteen them and gf. OP chooses gf but the strain on him suddenly being made to take responsibility for gf and child while being shunned by his family causes all sorts of problems between him and gf. Add in all the usual problems for young families, lack of money, exhaustion etc etc and rows esculate. OP and GF realise their constant rows are having a detrimental effect on their child and gf chucks him out. OP has nowhere to go and has to go crawling back to parents who gloat and say 'I told you so' and will only take him back if he agrees never to see GF again. OP caves in (again I am assuming he is very young) and for a while he manages to please his parents etc. However, he misses his child and gf and, during secret access visits, he realises he still loves his gf. They gradually start to rebuild their relationship, unbeknown to OP's parents who, if they knew, would chuck him out and refuse to ever have anything to do with him ever again . OP not 100% sure if he and gf will be able to make a go of things second time round so is anxious not to upset his parents yet. Op and GF agree to take things slowly, just staying with her at weekends to see if they can work things out together. GF gets called into benefits office.... the OP is effectively forced to tell his parents he has been lying to them and faces getting cut off by them.

Obviously, this may be far from the truth but shows there could be a plausible situation for what the Op is saying.

jayss

Do you pay your parents rent/board?
Can you prove it? Are any of the bills in your name (sky or anything)?

Do you contribute to your girlfriends household other than through your official Child support payments? Are any of her bills in your name etc?

OP people are doubting you as you seem to be saying your parents would refuse to say you live at their place. Which suggests its untrue.
Also if you're having those sort of issues with your parents seems strange you'd live there.

baig

Nenen wrote: »

This assumes that all grandparents care about their grandchildren, which unfortunately is certainly not the case. If, for whatever reason, the OP's parents hate the GF (justified or not) they may prefer to have nothing to do with her and deny their grandchild in the process.

I have no idea what the real facts are but I could quite easily imagine a scenario that would 'fit' with the OP telling the truth.... here is my imaginary scenario:

Young OP (not sure why but I imagine the OP is still very young, maybe early 20s and probably teenager when he met his gf) meets young girl and his parents dislike her as they consider her 'beneath him' socially/educationally (not that I'm condoning anyone with that sort of attitutde but I know it happens). OP's parents try to do everything they can to get the OP to end the relationship. Gf, understandably feels aggrieved that OP's parents make it clear what they think of her and relationship between gf and op's parents is very strained. Gf gets pregnant, OP's parents horrified and try to insinuate she's done it deliberatley to 'trap' him and make all sorts of accusations about her being a scrounger on the state. They insist OP has to chose beteen them and gf. OP chooses gf but the strain on him suddenly being made to take responsibility for gf and child while being shunned by his family causes all sorts of problems between him and gf. Add in all the usual problems for young families, lack of money, exhaustion etc etc and rows esculate. OP and GF realise their constant rows are having a detrimental effect on their child and gf chucks him out. OP has nowhere to go and has to go crawling back to parents who gloat and say 'I told you so' and will only take him back if he agrees never to see GF again. OP caves in (again I am assuming he is very young) and for a while he manages to please his parents etc. However, he misses his child and gf and, during secret access visits, he realises he still loves his gf. They gradually start to rebuild their relationship, unbeknown to OP's parents who, if they knew, would chuck him out and refuse to ever have anything to do with him ever again . OP not 100% sure if he and gf will be able to make a go of things second time round so is anxious not to upset his parents yet. Op and GF agree to take things slowly, just staying with her at weekends to see if they can work things out together. GF gets called into benefits office.... the OP is effectively forced to tell his parents he has been lying to them and faces getting cut off by them.

Obviously, this may be far from the truth but shows there could be a plausible situation for what the Op is saying.

Some of this is right.......about the parents and GF not seeing eye-to-eye so to speak....

I pay Broadband bill at my parents address and thats the only bill

I pay parents rent - but cash in hand - so not form of proof as such

I dont pay any bills at my GF's house - i pay child support and here and there i might buy stuff - like i bought a bed and wardrobes few weeks ago - so i help out financially

NewFoundGlory_2

baig wrote: »

Some of this is right.......about the parents and GF not seeing eye-to-eye so to speak....

Do they still have contact with their grandchild?

AdrianW2

NewFoundGlory wrote: »

Really don't understand what personal reasons would stop your parents signing a form/making a short visit to the Job Centre for the benefit of their grandson. I believe this sticking point is what is making people dubious regarding the situation.

I can think of lots of reasons; physical illness, mental illness or domestic violence being the first three.

NewFoundGlory_2

AdrianW2 wrote: »

I can think of lots of reasons; physical illness, mental illness or domestic violence being the first three.

I believe those would have been mentioned. It seems the reason is that the OPs parents and his girlfriend do not get along.

tweetyshells

baig wrote: »

As stated throughout this thread - i would prefer not to get my parents involved - i have personal reasons for this....

Giving your address is not got anything to do with your parents unless they ask for proof. For all they know you could live there alone.

shelovestobuystuff

NewFoundGlory wrote: »

No, but they obviously have collected evidence based on this 'tip off' otherwise it would not have been bought up.

IF this is what his girlfriend was told, then he is implicated in the case and should provide the necessary evidence.

I understand that his parents do not see eye-to-eye with his girlfriend, but this will effect their grandson so if the OP does indeed live with them, I do not see what the problem is in proving it.

They do act sometimes on just a tip off without evidence,or without checking any facts at all infact.I once got a letter inviting me to an interview at my local benefit office.I didnt know what it was for,the letter didnt say but I went anyway.
I was shown to a little office where a very arrogant man ranted for about 10 mins and interrogated me about whether or not I was living with my working boyfriend.I admitted it freely and was a bit confused as to why he thought it was a problem.He went on to say that benefit could be stopped and I may have to repay benefit for as long as he had been living with me etc etc etc.
I laughed and got up to leave which made him very angry.I told him I did not at that time recieve ANY state benefits,not even housing or council tax rebate, and had not for at least 7 years.
He quickly checked the computer and mumbled something about the sytem being updated,problems with the new system being set up.I didnt even get an apology.
My point is they dont necessarily have anything at all by way of evidence other than a horrible gossip calling them hoping to try to cause trouble for someone.

barnaby-bear

baig wrote: »

Some of this is right.......about the parents and GF not seeing eye-to-eye so to speak....

I pay Broadband bill at my parents address and thats the only bill

I pay parents rent - but cash in hand - so not form of proof as such

I dont pay any bills at my GF's house - i pay child support and here and there i might buy stuff - like i bought a bed and wardrobes few weeks ago - so i help out financially

Maybe parents claiming housing/benefits which would be affected by rent and so if they officially admit to him living there will be dropping themselves in it?

Your pay slips/bank account must surely be registered at your home address?
Electoral roll?

barnaby-bear

jayss wrote: »

OP people are doubting you as you seem to be saying your parents would refuse to say you live at their place. Which suggests its untrue.
Also if you're having those sort of issues with your parents seems strange you'd live there.

Or parents fraudulantly claiming? Not decalring extra working adult in the household or the rent?