Need Help! Council had a "tip off" i am living at my girlfriends

MORPH3US

bendix wrote: »

Is it a sign of increasing old age (I'm 44) that I'm more charmed than appalled by the comparison?

:beer:

:beer: Same to you too bendix, glad you took it in the sense it was intended....

I actually fully agree with your post.... those words could even have come out of my mouth...

benjo

Having previously worked in compliance for the inland revenue I do actually have some knowledge thanks! And although this information may not be actually published (for obviously reasons) - the more than 3 nights a week is actually one of the guidelines used to determine whether a person is deemed to be living with someone claiming as a single person.

My question was in no way intended to suggest that you have no knowledge!! merely a polite request for a reference to your source, since having searched all the info released under the FOI act I cannot find anything to support that more than 3 nights a week is actually one of the guildlines used to determine whether a person is deemed to be living with someone claiming as a single person, to the contrary I can find alot of evidence to say that there is 'no set number of nights' rather the description is 'regular' even if that applies to just one night a week.

Genuinely interested to know if this is indeed the case.

amazelucy

benjo wrote: »

My question was in no way intended to suggest that you have no knowledge!! merely a polite request for a reference to your source, since having searched all the info released under the FOI act I cannot find anything to support that more than 3 nights a week is actually one of the guildlines used to determine whether a person is deemed to be living with someone claiming as a single person, to the contrary I can find alot of evidence to say that there is 'no set number of nights' rather the description is 'regular' even if that applies to just one night a week.

Genuinely interested to know if this is indeed the case.

Sorry my previous quote wasnt meant to be !!!!!y - honest . Its just from working in compliance for a number of years, probably the most common case we dealt with (mainly regarding CTC and WTC) was whether single parents were actually living alone. And trust me even though it isnt published as 3 nights a week - this was one of the 'tests' used but obvioulsy there were many others.

And I wholeheartedly agree with many of the other comments - I am completely fed up of working so hard to pay for other people's benefits.

My husband and I both work really hard and have taken the decision to wait to have children until we can afford to have them!!! I would love to have a baby by now but know I am doing the right thing by waiting until we are financially secure.

A good friend of mine has 3 children, she now works and her husband is at Uni but also working. A few years ago, she wasnt working and her husband was signed off sick - and the riduculous thing is that they were tons better off with much more disposable income!!

Luckily they are decent people who want to better themselves and work but you can see why many people think its better to live off benefits!!

Rant over sorry!!

Cissi

This situation seems completely insane to me! This couple have a child together, he lives with Mum & Dad during the week as it's closer to work - and in all evidence in order to work the system! The GF clearly isn't single and shouldn't be receiving single parent benefits, period. I suspect that Mum & Dad are decent people who are uncomfortable about all this which is why the OP daren't ask them to help him out.

Great to know that this is why those of us who pay our way work so hard and make so many sacrifices - to enable scrounging like this :rolleyes:

Dinah93

Nenen wrote: »

This assumes that all grandparents care about their grandchildren, which unfortunately is certainly not the case. If, for whatever reason, the OP's parents hate the GF (justified or not) they may prefer to have nothing to do with her and deny their grandchild in the process.

I have no idea what the real facts are but I could quite easily imagine a scenario that would 'fit' with the OP telling the truth.... here is my imaginary scenario:

Young OP (not sure why but I imagine the OP is still very young, maybe early 20s and probably teenager when he met his gf) meets young girl and his parents dislike her as they consider her 'beneath him' socially/educationally (not that I'm condoning anyone with that sort of attitutde but I know it happens). OP's parents try to do everything they can to get the OP to end the relationship. Gf, understandably feels aggrieved that OP's parents make it clear what they think of her and relationship between gf and op's parents is very strained. Gf gets pregnant, OP's parents horrified and try to insinuate she's done it deliberatley to 'trap' him and make all sorts of accusations about her being a scrounger on the state. They insist OP has to chose beteen them and gf. OP chooses gf but the strain on him suddenly being made to take responsibility for gf and child while being shunned by his family causes all sorts of problems between him and gf. Add in all the usual problems for young families, lack of money, exhaustion etc etc and rows esculate. OP and GF realise their constant rows are having a detrimental effect on their child and gf chucks him out. OP has nowhere to go and has to go crawling back to parents who gloat and say 'I told you so' and will only take him back if he agrees never to see GF again. OP caves in (again I am assuming he is very young) and for a while he manages to please his parents etc. However, he misses his child and gf and, during secret access visits, he realises he still loves his gf. They gradually start to rebuild their relationship, unbeknown to OP's parents who, if they knew, would chuck him out and refuse to ever have anything to do with him ever again . OP not 100% sure if he and gf will be able to make a go of things second time round so is anxious not to upset his parents yet. Op and GF agree to take things slowly, just staying with her at weekends to see if they can work things out together. GF gets called into benefits office.... the OP is effectively forced to tell his parents he has been lying to them and faces getting cut off by them.

Obviously, this may be far from the truth but shows there could be a plausible situation for what the Op is saying.

I think you're a romantic. Or deluded.

Why would you buy furniture for somewhere you didn't live?

I'm sorry but if you can't get along living together where is this relationship supposed to be going?

Do bills really prove you actually live somewhere? All through my time at uni my bank statements, mobile phone bill, electoral roll registration were at my parents, simply because it was easier than swapping it all repeatedly as I moved once a year for 5 years. Doesn't mean I didn't live at my uni address for about 45 weeks of the year! They'd have to have surveillance to prove something I would think.

bendix

Do you know what I'd like to hear from people like the OP now and again?

A simple thank you.

Yes . .just a simple thank you to the people who work hard, sacrifice and pay taxes so that they can have their lives and their comforts and their families.

Instead of treating it as a government cost, wouldnt it be nice to hear them say . . "you know what, we realise that this is money people paid in tax after working, and we thank you for it?"

But do they? Do they ****. Instead they are more inclined to feel resentful or call us fatcats.

I suppose I'm asking for too much really.

Jomo

How often do you stop over then?

Some people think it's ok to stop over from Thursday to Monday and claim they don't live there....

wannabe_sybil

I don't know if you have considered this, but if you had not been able to get on with your lady friend previously, you could move back in and go to Relate.

Wouldn't it be lovely to see your little one grow up - I would be lost without my little one. And I am sure it would help your relationship with the little one down the years. You can never get this time back, you know.

I hope this helps.

Jomo

OP seems to have 'done one'!

Nevermind, no doubt he'll be moving back in with his GF soon....

Nenen

Dinah93 wrote: »

I think you're a romantic. Or deluded.
Why would you buy furniture for somewhere you didn't live?

For the record, the OP didn't post anything about his furniture buying until after I had posted (in fact he quoted my post in his post about buying the furniture). I would like to think I try to keep an open mind and see the best in people by trying to adopt the 'innocent until proven guilty' adage as often as I can. If this means that I am romantic, or even deluded, then this is preferable to me than cynically jumping in accusing people of lying without any proof (as some posters did immediately without asking any further questions of the OP). I was merely trying to say that there are possible alternative scenarios which could mean the OP is telling the truth. I was not saying that I approve of the way he is doing things and I certainly do NOT approve of benefits fraud (or any other kind of fraud, tax dodges, claims on expenses etc etc) which my hard earned taxes have to pay for.