Can I evict my Mum?

LinasPilibaitisisbatman

I am quite intrigued as to how the mother has spent 64k. Could the OP clarify.

If living in that house has cost the mother 64k then its fair to suggest that his share is 164k for him, his partner and adopted children (64k/52*10*3 + 128k) which seems completely impossible.

mad_bad_spender

It seems most people here need to calm down regarding the op.

the mother went into this with her eyes open. if she signed away her rights to the money then how is he in the wrong for wanting to protect his wife/kids? he isnt saying mother invested in the house and now i want her to leave as she smells like pee!

physical abuse is a serious issue and would be a difficult one to resolve. i for one would not risk her around already vulnerable kids

you dont know how manipulative the mother is and it sounds like she is, so lets just advice him regarding the right to boot her out and i say go for it!! I would not allow the kids to be in that situation as god knows what they have already been through so they need a stable home not one filled with tension

Belinda_W

LinasPilibaitisisbatman wrote: »

I am quite intrigued as to how the mother has spent 64k. Could the OP clarify.

If living in that house has cost the mother 64k then its fair to suggest that his share is 164k for him, his partner and adopted children (64k/52*10*3 + 128k) which seems completely impossible.

You and me both. They seem sorry and he seems so clear about how his mother hit his wife yet hmmmm!!! I reckon no one lashes out for nothing especially as i suspect (as they have SS approval) and being older although maybe or not so old, I cant help but wonder who lashed out first and if i was plonked on the smacker and not being a violent person i dont know that i would have just stood there and yeh I would love to know how she mangaged to spend 64K in such a short time x by 3 and / 12 at that time 192k wow what a wage and what an expenditure clariges at least once a week then maybe thornbury castle a night a week in Henry V111 chamber surely plus the old trip to well maybe the mena house (eygypt good enough for winston c/hill or may the penisula in kowloon HK 007, it sounds like you have been very economical with the truth.

Plus it sounds like your mum has lashed out for the FIRST TIME in her life and you hang her for it.(otherwise the SS would know of it and you would have been in care. I still say take a closer look at a woman you married yes you should take her side within reason and letw face it and I think you have already considered this a woman, who would at that point would have been under a lot of pressure. Sleeping well 2yr and 3yr old bet they have not slept through the night and isnt it strange how this has all happened since they have arrive. It would not be normal if they just settled in and slept remember they have a past and you cannot just wipe it out because you have a nice new house. They do not care about that. It bothers me that you thinik after two minutes that they can come into a knew household strangers, SLE~EP and all is ok. that bothers me ALOT!!!

Someone mentioned that she is jealous!!!hmmm think not I think someone else is rather tired right now, and needsw to come clean. Doensnt ,mean failure but experiance

I just cannot see your mum being 100% of the blame, yeh maybe a portion but it takes two to tango

When your children grow and you do everything for them would give them your life how would yo9u feel if you then read this. JUST POINTS OF VIEW I think would love to hear her side have some respect yeh!!!

YOu just wait till you are about to lose her, and if you dont feel that way then you are not worth the ink!! So I think that it is time to grow up youre mum is not going to back down (THAT IS CALLED RESPECTING YOUR ELDERS) SO IT IS FOR YOU TO CLEAR UP THIS MESS WITHOUT CHUCKING HER OUT. I think she probably knows her rights but does not want to exploit them through the worry of loosing her son NOW PUT YOURSELF IN HER PLACE) imagine what you would do when your three youngsters get to your age how would yoiu feel

LinasPilibaitisisbatman

Because there is no proof of physical abuse. Its funny how the OP only seems concerned when it helps him steal 175k from the mother.

Also the wife - no doubt a lot younger and fitter - was "only restraining"

The OP's mother also didnt sign her rights away. a contract was initiated which involved her living there and investing. she is no longer getting her side met and thus is entitled to sue for breach of contract. i.e her FULL 174k minus any costs/interest differential.

Belinda_W

mad_bad_spender wrote: »

It seems most people here need to calm down regarding the op.

the mother went into this with her eyes open. if she signed away her rights to the money then how is he in the wrong for wanting to protect his wife/kids? he isnt saying mother invested in the house and now i want her to leave as she smells like pee!

physical abuse is a serious issue and would be a difficult one to resolve. i for one would not risk her around already vulnerable kids

you dont know how manipulative the mother is and it sounds like she is, so lets just advice him regarding the right to boot her out and i say go for it!! I would not allow the kids to be in that situation as god knows what they have already been through so they need a stable home not one filled with tension

sorry but o have never heard so much crap in my life wife and kid!!! duh yeh maybewife for a while but kids only two minutes. You dont know their past how they really feel know more right now that ~Ian K and his wife and mother.

He obviously needs help otherwise he would not be spreading this all over the internet something i am sure not even he is proud of.

IAN your mum is obviously not a monster otherwise you would not have had her there to live so ~GROW UP be the adult sit all of you down (not the children) and resolve this. Look at it from the childrens point of view how must they feel thinking you want to get rid of your mother ~(WHO FROM THEIR POINT OF VIEW AND I AM SORRY, BUT THEY MAY STILL FEEL ATTATCHED TO THEIRS) how does that make them feel secure about your household????? stop thinkiing of your wifes feeling and start considering those children for once. THis is not good

pineapple123

Mum is being difficult about leaving because she does not really want to go.

I would be really saddened unwanted and frightened if I was in her shoes,
and to feel that I was going to to be forced legally to go would be so upsetting.

You presume that your mother was soley to blame for the attack on your wife , however your wife may also be finding it difficult to cope with an instant family, social services rules and regulations, coping with living with MIL , stress of moving etc , both may be to blame, with emotions running high ending with mum striking your wife.


You seem to be against your mum now and think the only solution is to get rid quick, instead of working on the problem within your family.

Mum should move out as the situation may never resolve but you should pay her back so she doesnt feel cheated .

Mum is not a bad person, but disapointed and fustrated, you see her now as the problem, in a home with so many adjustments over the past year.

Think wisely before making any rash decisions.,

Belinda_W

LinasPilibaitisisbatman wrote: »

Because there is no proof of physical abuse. Its funny how the OP only seems concerned when it helps him steal 175k from the mother.

Also the wife - no doubt a lot younger and fitter - was "only restraining"

The OP's mother also didnt sign her rights away. a contract was initiated which involved her living there and investing. she is no longer getting her side met and thus is entitled to sue for breach of contract. i.e her FULL 174k minus any costs/interest differential.

plus what you will never replace is the damage that has been caused, the hurt sod your wife sorry but your mother brought you up, gave you her life works ~(monitary) trusted you ie not needing anything in writing because she thought goode of her son and omg then you turn on her for a woman you have not known all your life. ~NO ONE LASHES OUT AND I BET IN YOU MOTHERS CASE WITHOUT SEVERE PROVICATION . lets face it she didnt beat her up go mad she slapped her across the face hm how many times has she done that before not many i bet if at all otherwise you would not be having those prescious children in your care. AND YES THEY ARE IN YOUR CARE so for gods sake sort this out properly. what you do with your mother will really refelct on those children. their values and their future for gods sake.Sod the money and you and your wife and your mum, YOU TOOK ON VERY VUNRABLE young HUMANS OF THE FUTURE SO DO WHAT IS RIGHT. not what you want but what is right in their eyes. They would have made an equal bond at this stage with your mum as with you and your wife even the dog or cat if you had one. Its all very delicate right now. ~Kicking out your mum WELL WHAT DOES IT SAY TOWARDS THEIR VALUES???? EH nlot a lot and as a parent you need to be responsible, which it would appear you mum is as she is not demanding her money back in full and right now!! maYBE SHE IS THE ONLY ONE THINKING OF THOSE CHILDREN ?????

1echidna

I too am of the school of thought that you can't just evict your mum for moral and very probably legal reasons as has been pointed out and elaborated on by a number of postings. I also think that the violence thing is unclear and is possibly being overblown and being used as an excuse to condemn your mum. It may be politically incorrect to say this but many of us were brought up in a period when corporal punishment was routine and have not been left mentally scarred by it. Of course it is difficult to judge to just what extent relationships have broken down within the household but my suggestion would be that you take the line that everybody has to find a way to live together and make allowances for generational gaps and age, both young and old. I would also come clean with Social Services and tell them fully of your problems and concerns. My feeling is that they will take on your concerns and perhaps offer family therapy to help you work through this. In all probability they will have encountered far worse.

supergrand

i cant beleive what im hearing here! some one genuinely asking for help and advice, otherwise why would he post in the first place? and all he gets is people slagging him off, calling him a theif his wife a granny batterer and not fit to look after 3 adopted children. come on folks get a grip, this has gone way too far! if youve nothing helpful or constructive to say then DONT SAY ANYTHING!! good luck IAN-K hope all will be resolved

Belinda_W

AT THE END OF THE DAY THERE ARE ONLY 3 PEOPLE THAT MATTETR IN THIS EQUASION. And it is not you your wife or your mum, yet to those 3 children it is very important it is called STABILITY which it seems your house hold does nor have right now. As your three new youngsters see your network as ALL THREE OF YOU I think it would be very detremental to the children to kick you mum out NOT GOOD VALUES DONT YOU THINK. You need to all put your differences to one side and show these youngsters the values that SS trusted in you. LEts face it you love your mum and your wife so you have to be the instigator in applying peace so that you 6 can all live happily ever after NOT UNLESS YOU HAD THIS PLANNED FROM THE START IF SO SHAME ON YOU!!!!! IF NOT YOU CAN,M YES CAN,, CAN ,, CAN,, WORK THIS OUT AND LIVE TOGETHER IN HARMONY IF NOT FOR YOUSELVES BYT THOSE PRESCIOUS CHILDREN. AND I THINK YOU CAN DO IT. SO GOOD LUCK REMEMBER RESPECT YEH! NOT ONLY FOR YOU YOUR MUM YOUR WIFE AND YOUR CHILDREN.

IF THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY