Can I evict my Mum?

macman

As I recall, the OP's original question was simply 'Can I evict my Mum?'. On the evidence presented, the answer is clearly 'yes he can'.
That is not a recommendation. The morality of it is another issue entirely.

Marg

Thank you for your answers it makes things a bit clearer.

I still think you should get your sister 'on side' and avoid 'legal' route if you can as it is much more of a moral issue. Perhaps if you spoke to Social Services who have the childrens needs as a priority they could get Mum a social worker and they may be able to speed up the rehoming of Mum process.

And to add to your worries, are you sure your Mum has all her faculties? My lovely MIL who I've got on with for over 30 years has become increasingly difficult & aggressive due to Alzheimers.

spuds_2

Your mum may have given you £174k - I am presuming she 'gifted' it as a deposit when you moved to your present house - but morally you know, surely, that that money is her's and it is only right that she gets it back now.

Legally, she may have no right to it, but it would be frankly despicable if you were now unwilling to repay it.

You could move house without moving the kids from their schools. You mum needs to find new accomodation, you then need to sell your house or remortgage, or move somewhere smaller, then pay her back.

£174k is a lot of money to put into a house - I am asuming you have been able to buy a much bigger house than you would have otherwise been able to afford. Also, she had had £60k's worth of food/accomodation in just a year or so?

This is a difficult situation for everybody, but you need to make this right. Evicting her and not paying her money back would be completely unacceptable in my view.

Casciana

It would be interesting to hear what Mum's perspective of the situation is, Vegas100 states that she has posted elsewhere in the forum, where is that?

SailorSam

Your mum had fell out your sister but things are ok now, is that right ? So given a bit of time and space maybe your troubles may pass.
I think as someone said earlier if you could extend your house with some sort of granny flat, the tensions may ease because you would not be under each others feet.
If this is'nt possible, morally you need to return your mums money, you can't say, but i'm entitled to it, like an early inheritance. When you repay her i think it has to be a lot more than £110k, she could have gone to live in a hotel and been waited on hand and foot for a lot less than £64k. Instead of you charging your mum £64k for the pleasure of living in your home for a year, how would you feel if she turned around and said, "well i've lent you £174k for a year, so now with the interest due i want £200k back"

mumps

I understand about the early inheritance but surely she also was expecting to live with you, she wouldn't have sold her house and left herself depending on social housing to give you £174k, would she? I don't understand where the 64k has gone either. Can you explain where that went.

Has she explained why she told your sister that your wife hit her? Is it possible that you saw her hit your wife after your wife hit her? I am not accusing your wife but it just seems possible that you walked in and didn't see the whole situation.

I have been in a similar position with my mother putting money into a house with us and then getting back together with my step fathe and moving him in. That was never going to work and they bought another house. We mortgaged ourselves to the hilt to pay her back but I wouldn't have expected her to just go.

Ian-K_2

Casciana wrote: »

It would be interesting to hear what Mum's perspective of the situation is, Vegas100 states that she has posted elsewhere in the forum, where is that?

that was a reference to another case, not my Mum. Would be interesting to have a link.

She did put in the money as an early inheritance and also had a say in where we moved. The £60+K is a rough calculation based on her legal costs, a share of the eventual move (to a larger place as we had her to accommodate too) with a part of stamp duty and a share of the loss we had to take on our old place as she was specific about preferring the house we moved to so we shifted when we did. Also she lived rent free for a year. She can't put in X amount, live rent free with no food & bills and anything for 12+ months, have us stomach the full loss plus the full stamp duty then want to clear off and get the same X amount back. We took a £54K hit on our old place, just for thee record. Surely if she has a share in the house, she has an equal share in the costs? We have calculated all her shares on one third, not a half.

We were going to converts some outbuildings as accommodation and have already had the drawings done for council submission, that was in excess of £2,500 and she is adamant she wants to leave, so that's wasted from our perspective too.

I do get the impression that there is the view that it's a cynical ploy to get rid, but she's had a lot back in the last year in one form or another and has been made fully welcome and part of the family, not marginalised at all, and I have always had a close relationship with her. The last few weeks have been an utter shock to me and it's quite depressing. I appreciate she'll have similar feelings, before someone says!

I know my wife could have hit first, but I am convinced she did not as she is not prone to acts of violence like that at all. In 10 years together I am sure I have given her many good reasons to slap me hard and she's never even risen to it once, so she's extremely unlikely to start on a 74-year-old pensioner.

My Mum is prone to sudden mood swings as other family members have discovered. I was alerted to the altercation by my Mum's raised voice and swearing. I was in the adjacent room and got there quickly. She was moving towards my wife who was backing away and she tried to hold her arms as she was raising them. She was able to hold her right arm but received a smack from the left, leaving a nasty mark on her neck & face. the policeman saw this. there were no marks on my Mum aside from a slight one on her arm where my wife had tried to restrain her. As I put myself between them and got my wife away Mum did try another shot but obviously couldn't reach.

lilac_lady

What age is your mother? Was she in a sane enough state of mind to sign over her money to you without her name being on the deeds? Was it done to bypass inheritance tax at a future date? Has she no other money to live on?

All these questions are relevant as they may be asked by solicitors if your mother decides to try to sue you for the return of her money.

LilacPixie

I would be pressing charges for assault. That being said has your mother always been violent and prone to mood swings?? I ask because my grandmother because this way in the early stages on dementia. Maybe medical assistance is needed

eileenfromplaistow

You have my sympathy for your "no-one wins" situation. Luckily or unluckily I have no elderly relatives left, so here is my inexpert opinion
Selling up will throw up all the problems of how fussy she is about accommodation - even if you could sell your place, you are never going to satisfy your mother!
Convert the outbuildings, so she has her own space - then change your locks. As I see it, cheaper than trying to sell, and your children deserve their new start in more harmony. (btw, I doubt your mother sees them as "her" grandchildren, and has no patience for them)
Try to get her a life - day activities, clubs etc. Maybe she is unwell, and her GP can help.
Good luck