Can I evict my Mum?

Cazza

Were the mortgage company aware that your Mother would be living in the property AND providing c£174,000 towards the deposit? Usually, without the deposit, she would be asked to sign a Deed of Consent Postponement, giving the lender vacant possiession if they needed to repossess, but if she provided the deposit too, she's seen to have an overriding interest in the property, which the Deed does not cover. In this situation, most lenders would not proceed. The same reasons which make it difficult for the lender are what is making it difficult for you now.

I'd be very careful in your situation, despite what your Mother has signed in the past, I think that if the situation became nsty, there is a good chance she could go down the legal route of forcing you to repay her share, if that results in forcing you to sell, then that could be what happens. Hopefully that would not happen, I would hate to think that anyone could do that to their family, but.....

I appreciate what you said about the costs of remortgaging to buy your Mother out, but I think given the curcumstances, it might be something you want to seriously think about.

ceridwen

Hmmm...too....her name not on the deeds and she has signed a document for the bank saying she has no interest in the property

- why on EARTH did she do that?

- how on earth did you put her in a position where those things have happened even though she DOES own part of the house?

If you really push things here too and the law came down on your side (which I hope it wouldnt!) - bear in mind too that you wont be able to just heave a sigh of relief and think "thats all over then". She could well go straight to the newspapers and tell them ALL about it - and the next thing you know would be some national newspaper headline saying "Man throws out his little old mum from her own home" and you would be right in it with Social Services - and every decent person you (used to) know.

macman

ceridwen wrote: »

I quite agree with JoJoB on this....:T

We are all after all only reading "your side" of this. We have no access to hearing what "her side" of this is. But - it seems like she jointly owns this house. Whatever the legal position is is totally irrelevant - she has put her money into this house and lives there herself - therefore she is joint owner whether you like it or no.

Facts are sometimes inconvenient things - it hasnt worked out and you have to find some way somehow to hand her her money back and she can then move out. Obviously shes not going to go till then - no-one with a scrap of sense would. Why should she move to a Housing Association place when she has enough house equity to keep on owning a place of her own?

You are NOT coming over very well here.....from the information we have so far I'm on your mothers side here and I would be "digging my heels in" and refusing to budge unless and until I got my money back if I was her. I'm sorry to tell you that if I were your mother - then the only way the situation would "move on" would be once I had the cheque for my money back from you safely cashed and in the bank.

Sorry - I know its not what you want to hear and I do understand your frustrations - BUT her money is her money and she is entitled to have it back.

She does not jointly own the house, not only has she not got her name on the deeds, but she has confirmed in writing that she has no interest in it. How can the legal position be irrelevant?
It's clear that the OP's mother has a very strong moral case for a share of the house, but she certainly has no legal right of occupation or ownership unless she goes through the process of trying to recover it. And no-one on this forum would be able to say if that is likely to succeed with the very limited information we have been given concerning the transfer of money and purchase of the property.
Both parties need to consult a solicitor.

ciano125

Unfortunately I can't offer any other advice than has already been said, however I'm sure you need cheering up a bit. In my experience I've found if it's not one thing it's your mother.

Ian-K_2

Sorry that I am not coming over well and I can see that you are only seeing my side of the story. To answer a few questions;

* We cannot sell due to the placed children and they cannot be moved.
* We are looking to see about a mortgage extension to pay her off.
* Hector-the-Inspector, they weren't adopted into our unstable home, this issue has come about since then. If you have any idea about the demeaning and gruelling process you go through for adoption, you must know that if there was a whif of instability they wouldn't have been placed, period.
* She was offered full advice prior to doing anything and stated several times that she was happy with everything. She didn't want a legal (deeds etc) stake in the house as she had (at that time) no relationship with my sister and had previously given a lot of financial support to her and nothing to me. She felt that when she passed away she didn't want my sister trying to grab effectively a chunk of what she had given to us as she wanted it to be "fair".
* She stated herself that she wanted to move out and get a flat herself with a housing association.
* We have looked at private rental flats with a view to funding rent (both ourselves and the council) and they have been ideal properties (wardens, lifts, private parking, private gardens) but they have all been refused. She wants to wait out for a council flat and that could take a while.
* End of the day she has attacked my wife. She told my sister my wife attacked her but I walked in on it and saw Mum hit out at my wife as she tried to restrain her. The risk that will be seen is that she could lash out at the children. We honestly tried to do the best for her (she was very depressed at her last place and never dared venture outdoors due to a dispute with her neighbours) and she was going downhill. After she told my sister that my wife went for her, my sister rang the police.

Appreciate what has been said about not coming over well here and I can see it's easy to look as if it's a cynical manipulation to get money off a pensioner. However, it wasn't and we did everything with the best of intentions and genuine intentions, no matter how many doubt that. As I said at the start, I do not want to see her dumped with nothing.

Emmzi

what is better for the kids?
- you stuck in acrimonious battle with beligerantly behaving pensioner or
- selling the house and moving and having to do a but of packing, get used to a smaller house

what is better for mum?
- feeling you are forcing her out or
- getting at least some cash back so she can make her own choices

whitewing

I agree that for everyone's sake, your mum needs to move out, and be supported by you. Could you ring up Age Concern and discuss the matter with them? They can maybe ensure your mum gets the emotional support that she needs, and that you and your wife are able to understand where your mum is coming from. I understand your concerns for your wife and children, and a home should be a happy place. You need help to ensure that your mum has a new long term happy home where grandchildren can visit, and the pressure is off you all. I think part of this needs to be some legal documentation stating how and when you are going to sort out the finances.

Ian-K_2

Emmzi wrote: »

what is better for the kids?
- you stuck in acrimonious battle with beligerantly behaving pensioner or
- selling the house and moving and having to do a but of packing, get used to a smaller house

what is better for mum?
- feeling you are forcing her out or
- getting at least some cash back so she can make her own choices

Selling house with one of three children at school would likely mean moving school and SS would not have that I'm afraid, otherwise yes.

YorkiePud_3

So bascially that money was given to you as your inheritance, then? Your sister had already had hers and your Mum saw this as her chance to help you now with money she would have left for you anyway.

Doesn't matter what anyone says regarding the rights and wrongs of the financial situation .. at the end of the day she behaved violently in your home and you are within your rights to expect anyone in your home NOT to hit you or your family.

I would write a letter to her (keeping a copy for myself and sending a copy to your sister), saying that you had been grateful for her giving you your share of any will money now to help you out and, as she said, your sister had had financial support from her and she wanted you to have your share now at a time when she knew it would help you the most.

(I'd say that to show sister what she had said ... she may have told sister a different tale altogether, so you need to make sure she knows what the situation was).

I would then say that while you have enjoyed her living with you and your family things have become increasingly difficult and you cannot go on any longer living together so, as she has said she is ready to move elsewhere, you feel that it would be better for her to go sooner rather than later.

I would also say that as she already knows, you have looked at properties on her behalf, only wanting the best one for her but she has refused to see them, but if she is still intent on leaving which you feel would be beneficial right now since she has shown actual physical violence towards your wife, then you would continue to help her look for a property that she feels appropriate but right now she must find alternative accommodation (perhaps with your sister?) because you cannot accept someone behaving as violently as she has being in the same house as your children.

It's a sticky situtation .. did your wife tell the police what she had done to her?

It's probably a last resort, but if she won't shift and becomes nasty, then the threat of your wife pressing assault charges against her may just be what will get her shifted.

Unfortunately, some older folk think that if they help you out financially, they have you over a barrel for the rest of your life. Not all, of course, but some.
By giving you your share of the inheritance she may have expected full and complete gratitude from you for the rest of her life ... and she may have thought by giving you the money it guaranteed her a major say in how everything was done in YOUR home ...

As has been said before, if she was so unhappy and serious about moving out, then she could get emergency accommodation OR go to your sister ... I feel she expected to be looked after like a Queen in her old age, coming to a nice and quiet place to live ... *L* then you go adopt 3 children ... sorry, I shouldn't laugh but there is a funny side to that! ... (tell em to play as loudly as they want for as long as they want ... maybe a bit of noise pollution might sway her!)

You've got to put yourself, your wife and children first here ... it sounds like she thought she owned the lot of you by giving you the money .. but if it was part of your inheritance come early, then have no doubts and regrets ... show her the door!!!

pelirocco

Just remember ,what goes round comes around