Want to give up!

Taye

Redundancy is STAT min ... *ugh* so 7 weeks pay for me (about £1700)... it would pay off 1 card i guess, but only if i was able to get a job straight away, also my employer also insists you work your FULL notice period.

Broken_hearted

Taye wrote: »

I

But stupid things that didn't used to get to me when the kids where younger are starting to both me, silly things like last night the icecream man came around.. silly hu?..

I heard the bell and was sitting in the living room watching out of the window, all the kids in the street scattered to pester thier mum's and dad's for money my two never moved.
.

My parents are reasonably well off we knew if we asked for an ice cream we would be told it is in the freezer. After a while we learned not to ask. There is no need to feel guilty about not giving them something they don't need.

the_rottweiler

Taye, I cant add much advice but I also was left with loads of debt and even homeless at one point (while ex started afresh)
I know how hard it was saying no to my boys and sometimes I would sit and cry with the stress, and I had a fab family for support
The end result is I have a 16yo who got a job over a year ago and has rarely asked for money since, he knows the value of money and spends wisely, and his 15yo brother does gardening and pet sitting for his money
they pay for their own treats which takes the pressure off my finances.
Please stop beating yourself up,You are a fabulous mum and no one can take that away from you, your boys will grow up and remember your love, not the ice cream you couldnt afford.

Crap_with_money.com

Hi Taye,

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time! Not sure there's anything constructive I can add - although I also work in a bank (although only part-time), and they are offering free financial reviews to all staff, as they recognised that more than a few were struggling in the current financial climate - does your employer maybe offer something similar?

Also - would it be an option for at least the elder of your boys to get a wee part-time job? I don't mean exactly slave labour - but maybe a paper round just for some extra pocket money? Or are there any neighbours/family they could maybe be doing some gardening / odd jobs etc for?

Big hugs to you - I hope you do realise just how many positives you have in your life! I know it's very hard going - but your 2 boys sound like the biggest credit to you - and definitely worth getting out of bed for in the morning!

xx

Intergalactic_Floozie

Do you do Pinecone surveys? You could save the £3 vouchers as and when they come, and give them to the kids for treat money. Also, how old is the eldest? There's a survey site called Young poll who do polls for kids and I think min payout is £30 and it's a matter of pennies per survey but it's not a lot of work and my eldest loves doing them and finds them really interesting.

RAS

Taye

Given your situation, is this time to do CCA requests for all your credit cards, loans and catalogues? Given how old they are at least some of them must be unenforceable.

scaredy_cat

Taye, if you are being made redundant your emplyer HAS to let you have time off to go to job interviews.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/RedundancyAndLeavingYourJob/Redundancy/DG_10029844

10past6

Hi Taye

We can help you with your finances on this board, but if you post here the "Redundancy Board" you'll receive the expert help you need, also, try this board, "Family & Relationships board" we have experts scattered all over this site, it's simply a question of finding them

TotallyBroke

Taye wrote: »

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 2 (+2 cats and a large dog)
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 994.85 How many hours do you work?
Benefits................................ 1155.98
Total monthly income.................... 2150.83
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 210
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 293
Council tax............................. 66
Electricity............................. 60 Turn eveything off at the plug, don't have microwaves etc plugged in telling the time
Gas..................................... 40
Water rates............................. 24
Telephone (land line)................... 9
Mobile phone............................ 15
TV Licence.............................. 14
Groceries etc. ......................... 250 I think you can shave a bit off this each month
Clothing................................ 15 Try freecycle for clothes or charity shops
Petrol/diesel........................... 80
Road tax................................ 11
Car Insurance........................... 45
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 10
Childcare/nursery....................... 640 Why is this so high? I don't pay this for a 2yo in childcare from 7am until 5pm. Your children are in fulltime school so will only need minding for a few hours a day
Buildings insurance..................... 28 I'm guessing contents included
Life assurance ......................... 13
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20 Automatically get this and car maint, tax money put into another account so it cannot be spent on anything else

Total monthly expenses.................. 1833

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 32000 Your house is only worth this much!!!
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 33000

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 26000....(210)......0
Secured Debt.................. 12600....(293)......3.5
Total secured & HP debts...... 38600.....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
loan...........................6600......143.......9
credit card....................1900......40........0
credit card....................1500......35........0
credit card....................448.......21........11
credit card....................2400......54........0
Total unsecured debts..........12848.....293.......-
It would be better if you put the company names down. Someone can then advise on a new 0% not connected to one you already have. You need to throw every spare bit of cash onto the 11% one while the others are still at 0%
Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,150.83
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,833
Available for debt repayments........... 327.83
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 293
Amount left after debt repayments....... 14.83
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 33,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -38,600
Total Unsecured debt.................... -12,848
Net Assets.............................. -18,448
Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using IE browser.

It might only be a shave that you can save but anything is a help. Do you know when your bills get paid etc from your account and when money comes in. Do you have an overdraft and do you use it.

k2tog

Hello again Taye - good to see you around again.
I'm not very good at the technical aspects of all this (thankfully there are others who are!) but could you get advice from CAB about the joint debts if ex has really disappeared? It seems unfair that he just skips off with his credit rating intact while you scrape to pay it. Do the CSA know where he is?