Once More With Feeling! - Buffy's debt diary

Buffythedebtslayer

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

This is everything I want to achieve in my holiday. This is the start of the second week, first week i felt pretty rough, don't feel great now but am better.

1. clean out my bed room, every drawer, every shelf, every cupboard, every file will have been taken out/down and sort/chucked/charityshopped/e bayed/amazoned.

2. Repeat in conservatory.

ideally I would like to do both these this week.

3. put in two flower beds in my bit of the garden, (back from holiday)

4. dig hole for pond (back from holiday)

5. repot my plants and seeds (urgent)

6. do display boards in my room(tomorrow)

7. paint furniture (tomorrow)

8. sell 20 items on e bay(at least)

9. list on Amazon (two items on already)one sold!

10. sell CD's on music magpie

11. organise filing (tuesday night)

12. organise school folders

13. plan a 1/2 term's worth of lessons

14. plan work schedule

15. do MA reading

16. sort out my bloody driving lessons phoned AGAIN:mad:


17. rehome the snails. Sorted today posting tomorrow

18. pay off as much of the cc as I can (aiming for 400 pounds)

19. remember to do surveys each day

20. start writing doyoo and b view reviews

21. take all unwanted stuff to charity shop.

22. empty my stuff out of the loft and shed, to e bay/charity shop and reorganise.

23. exercise everyday accept sundays. managed so far!:j

24. sort out Avon - pay bills and fix tax thing.

25. do daily bingo.

26. ruthlessly go through wardrobe and bin old clothes,

27. shop in Asda, Tescos(vouchers), Matalan for new work clothes.

28. eat as healthly as I can.

29. phone argos, driving school, snail man - print out phone numbers and do from work tomorrow. done

30. organise Doll's house stuff,

pleased with today, made phone calls, bought storage for my CD's in the charity shop (brand new ikea racks for 79p!)and got storage boxes, two pepper plants and a cake tin.

I did get miserable this morning sis and bf visited and it always annoys me for some reason. well i feel like I can't breathe when they are here but its over now and I won't be here for their next visit:T and the next time they come over I will handle it better. I do like them, I just don't fit in much I guess.

I am going to have to nap or something I feel so odd.

rubbish first.

xxxxx

mum2one

geranium72 wrote: »

Buffy - just wanted to say I read your first post and somre more bits of your diary - and I totally emapthise and agree with your approach - some people on here ARE amazing and can throw everything at the debt - but I need to still live my life while doing it - which includes things that could be classed as a luxury - for me, like Sky and football!

There are many ways of getting to the destination - I'm with you on the scenic route!

totally-agree-re-senic-route-more-fun-x

Buffythedebtslayer

I wanted to write this morning, but I was far too angry and upset. I am behaving like a spoilt brat to be honest but I cannot seem to help it.

I know I said at the start that I wasn't going to focus on the debts so much but I have landed myself in a right mess. My other credit card is getting mighty big and I am getting really worried.

I am not sure this take your foot off the peadle really works for me.

the problem

1. staying at my current job - to pay off the debts

2. living at home until I can afford to move out

= me mostly stressed and unhappy, I feel trapped and squashed and there isn't any release.

The original solution was to pay off debts as fast as I could to give me the option of moving out/changing job. I am not sure I would move out,or even change jobs (there aren't any about at the moment) but not having the option is depressing in itself.

THat worked for a bit but there was a pattern of me doing well and then splurging (exactly what happens on a diets). And even with the

You know what I don't even know why I am writing this stuff down. I am sick of whining about it all the bloody time. I hardly ever post positive things on here.

I just honestly wish Mum would go out so I could get with things and play music and just be how things used to be.

xxx

Hollyberry

Buffy, it sounds as though the walls are crowding in on you. This may be a daft suggestion, but do you know anyone going away on holiday who would welcome a house-sitter? I am wondering if a week of calm and solitude (and playing your own music at full blast) would help, and if it would be possible to achieve.

In other news, I am pleased to hear that the snails are slinking off to a new home.

Take care of yourself,
Hx

Buffythedebtslayer

Am ok Holly xx Cleaned the fish tanks, that made me feel a lot better! (till I realised two were clearly about to peg it, still the goldfish and the angels are ok)

about to have dinner and if I can figure out how to plug the tv back together in my room I should it all tonight.

I did have a mate who used to go to South Africa every summer and I'd house sit but she has moved now.

tomorrow Mum is out for the morning so that is a big relief. And I am off on saturday. I do love my Mum so much, but I sometimes think there is a point when you shouldn't live "at home" any more and I am WAY past it!

Still the fish are clean, my room is nearly organised and I will get some time to myself tomorrow.

cheers tho Holly xx

Shoe_Gal

Hollyberry wrote: »

Buffy, it sounds as though the walls are crowding in on you. This may be a daft suggestion, but do you know anyone going away on holiday who would welcome a house-sitter? I am wondering if a week of calm and solitude (and playing your own music at full blast) would help, and if it would be possible to achieve.

In other news, I am pleased to hear that the snails are slinking off to a new home.

Take care of yourself,
Hx

Holly

That sounds like a really good idea, some space to get some 'head room'

Take care of yourself Buffy :A

Buffythedebtslayer

Evening/morning all

I have been out at a friend's house which I can honestly say did me the world of good

Today was good - in terms of doing stuff, I visited my best mate's parents which was lovely. I have missed them. such kind people. And then I went on my friends for dinner.

Before I did any of that I posted my Snails to their new home. They were just too big and slimey for me, although fascinating to watch. They were sent special delivery cos I am not entirely sure I wrapped them up right! Please let them survive the journey!!

So now I only have my fish as pets. who are very cool but not cute and fluffy, so I am comptemplating getting a new pet(s). I have a soft spot for guinea pigs and have done some research on them and the costs associated.

I have decided to use this "want" as an incentive. When I had pets before I had an emergency credit card (not great I know) to use for extra vet stuff - which happened a fair amount and I managed ok. At the moment I don't have any rooom on my CC - I am not up to my limit or anything but I do not feel comfortable adding to it.

So I have decided that I will not allow myself to have a new pet* until I have paid back my Credit cards and have 200 pounds in savings for possible vet fees.
I have set up standing orders to pay CC each month until the 0% finishes in expectation that I will pay them off and be closer to getting the Guinea pigs! (I know some people aim for houses! but not me!!!just small squeaky furry bugs!)
I am very tired now so Shall see you all later today.

xxxxxxx

Pooky

Buffy, having read a few bits of your diary I think you're being hard on yourself. The responsibility of kids/mortgage etc do make you grow up and get on with things, but as you'll see from here plenty of people still have issues with all that responsibility....we all cope with our lives in different ways, none of them are right or wrong, just fitting to us as an individual.

You say that you need to stay in your current job to clear the debts so that you can move out. What's stopping you applying for other jobs in the meantime? If you want to move out of teaching then use the job for the money whilst you retrain/study for whatever it is you want to do. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest, look at applying for jobs that will allow you to spend the time doing what you want/need to do...this is where the having no responsibilites helps...you've got the chance to get it all sussed.

chevalier

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Well so far

negatives
had my first migraine of the break(!)don't suffer in silence with these. go to the dr and get some preventative medicine
spent lots of money oops
been disappointed by the free dating website because you know that it is a false way of meeting people.
spent money at the dentist if this stops pain or gives you more confidence then this is not negative.
vaguely upset myself with one of my friends don't let it fester, sort it out - even if it means having to say good bye to a friendship
realised how much debt I am in and that it is all my fault. no i don't agree. you have been under the most unbearable stress. you could either completely crack up or else eat chocolate and buy goldfish
felt like I am never going to be debt free but you aren't missing payments, your loan amount is going down, which means they will get paid off sooner rather than later, and when they do you will have that much more money to pay other debts off with, or even save!
relied on my CC too much. when you are het up you rely on your old friends because you can't budget. When was the last time you did a REALISTIC SOA?

Positives
seen my friends well done
booked hotel for Weymouth hope you got a good deal and went through a cash back site.
done my exercise vid every day :T:T:Twell done I know that this is hard for you. But you will start to see a difference. You just have to remember that is didn't take a month to put on this weight and it won't take a month to get if off either. But Diet AND Excercise, if you stick at it, will achieve the result you desire!
slept loads. good you obviously needed it.
been to the movies hope you enjoyed it
got a nice e mail from a bloke(!)
stuck to the diet 3/5 days. this is better than 50% so GO YOU!


Provisionally I want to be Credit card free by the end of the year. You keep saying this. WHY are you putting this pressure on yourself? Just because it might be doable if you did everything EXACTLY RIGHT, doesn't mean that life isn't going to happen and trip you up. Why not go for getting rid of one card and closing the account by say October and see how you are going by then. (Personally I hope you are in America by then, having asked your lovely sister in the states if you can move in with her, and if she can find you a job over there )

the total disappointment and shame I feel about not making my deadline to be debt free by the end of this year is awful. I was going to be so careful. Work blew up in my face and it was all I could do to survive. and then some stuff with my sister and it snowballed. Plus me not really working out a budget. I just don't do that. (get me!) You have enough pressure in your life, without putting yourself under this extra burden.

And then there is the fact that I have put on two stone. that makes me feel ill. So you have a goal now. Let the money just go along. Ie pay the loan money and say £100 extra off the credit cards and concentrate on the weight. I mean if you are on a tread mill or wii fit, then you can't be spending money. So doing lots of exercise is very MSE!!!!

I am also really annoyed that I still don't get Matched betting. Me either. I have a degree and two diplomas, so I have just accepted that my brain isn't going to do it and moved on!

Tomorrow is another day.

Plan for tomorrow - clearout room and rearrange furniture - gather stuff to take to charity shop on monday. Why are you doing this again? Is it displacment activity because you feel you HAVE to be doing something because of your mum and if you are doing your bedroom you are at least away from her? If this is the case, then you need to tell her that you need a break where you don't actually do things for part of the day. Otherwise you won't feel refreshed enough to do next years planning for your proper job, which will put you in a worse frame of mind than before. Or something like that.

Spend Sunday tidying the Conservatory Tidying or would decluttering be better? Maybe it is the time to just freecycle a load of stuff, rather than putting pressure on yourself to ebay it? That way you have another usable space to escape to.

see you all in the morning xxxxxx
xxxx

I am SO sorry that I haven't been popping in very much to your diary. And I hope that this hasn't been too harsh. But I thought it needed saying.

have a great holiday
chev

beanielou

Enjoy weybiza hun~will be thinking of you all xx