I've totally lost the plot, really, haven't I

Merlinexcalibur

Because I am not coping with any of this. Looked at how much money I had start of the week, barely get me through to week after next. Cut my hair, no idea what it looks like (except hoping it looks 'okay') because haven't looked at myself in the mirror for a very long time. I know the way forward I have to decide on, is not easy but I also know that it will break me once and for all. And so many other things I have had to keep quiet about, not tell anyone about for fear/worry of what may happen. What the hell have I done to myself? When is enough, enough.

jenni75

Merlinexcalibur wrote: »

Because I am not coping with any of this. Looked at how much money I had start of the week, barely get me through to week after next. Cut my hair, no idea what it looks like (except hoping it looks 'okay') because haven't looked at myself in the mirror for a very long time. I know the way forward I have to decide on, is not easy but I also know that it will break me once and for all. And so many other things I have had to keep quiet about, not tell anyone about for fear/worry of what may happen. What the hell have I done to myself? When is enough, enough.

Merlin,


You need to listen to the advice given on your previous posts, and perhaps consider taking the advice. No one can give you the answers, only you can decide to move forward, no one said it is easy but it won't break you, it may even make you even stronger.

Merlinexcalibur

and perhaps consider taking the advice.

I have and I am not ignoring anyone. But you know what the hardest part of all this is? That I am in it because of someone else taking everything away. So, when you have that on your mind constantly, eating away at you it's not right. Why should I be the one sitting here, why isn't it those people? Why are they not the ones suffering? I am sorry if I am obviously a weak person. I will shut up and just go the hell away. I am a burden to society right now as it is. I have no wish to burden anyone else so probably shouldn't have posted this at all. I am sick to death of everything, every damn thing that has been taken from me, done to me, throughout everything.

I'll shut up now and log out.

And !!!!!! please don't patronise me. I am an intelligent person who has done EVERYTHING but has still reached this point. I have taken advice, for Gods sake why the hell do you think I pass what I learn (which amounts to nothing TBH) on about debt situations is because I HAVE taken that advice and others can benefit from it. I have done everything that needs to be done. I am totally alone in all this, and I have done everything by myself. But I suppose I must be a very weak human being to be in such a struggle right now. In such a mess. Was my own fault after all. There are no happy endings in all this. Only more of the same which I know is coming. Nothing I ever do has stopped any of this from happening. It would seem someone, somewhere is determined to ram me into this direction come what may. All roads lead here.

So, yes, I have taken advice. I have taken in from CCCS, an indepdent money advisor, done plenty of things. Because when you know how you got into this mess, it's not a very nice thing to live with on your mind every day for the last 2 years, knowing that this point was inching closer.

I am not looking for any answers I am simply reacting to the !!!! storm that landed on top of me when it should be the other way round. And now I will log out. !!!!!! if I am not a strong person by now, with all the !!!!, the crap that has come my way ... I give up. I have always known that I will ultimately be living on the streets, almost went there when what was done to me was done, and I know that is coming whichever or whatever way I decide to go. That is not guessing, that is what I know is going to happen.

But I am a very weak human being simply because of feeling like this. The only weak people were the !!!!! who left me in this state. Enough with it.

Oh and BTW but I didn't reach this point because of borrowing irresponsibly, either. Far from it. I have only ever behaved sensibly in life. What a waste of time that was. Maybe I should have committed a few crimes, then I'd have had a better life. Because being a good person gets you nothing in this life.

Fine, the world has washed it's hands of me so I will wash myself of it myself. Enough is enough. So, please do not tell me what to do when I have already damn well done it.

yellowmonkey

jenni75 wrote: »

Merlin,


You need to listen to the advice given on your previous posts, and perhaps consider taking the advice. No one can give you the answers, only you can decide to move forward, no one said it is easy but it won't break you, it may even make you even stronger.

I Thought there was nothing wrong with your post at all Jenni. :T

ym

peachyprice

I've totally lost the plot, really, haven't I

I'd say so yes.

No-one here has done these things to you, so please don't hurl abuse at people who are trying to help.

jenni75

Merlinexcalibur wrote: »

I have and I am not ignoring anyone. But you know what the hardest part of all this is? That I am in it because of someone else taking everything away. So, when you have that on your mind constantly, eating away at you it's not right. Why should I be the one sitting here, why isn't it those people? Why are they not the ones suffering? I am sorry if I am obviously a weak person. I will shut up and just go the hell away. I am a burden to society right now as it is. I have no wish to burden anyone else so probably shouldn't have posted this at all. I am sick to death of everything, every damn thing that has been taken from me, done to me, throughout everything.

I'll shut up now and log out.

And !!!!!! please don't patronise me. I am an intelligent person who has done EVERYTHING but has still reached this point. I have taken advice, for Gods sake why the hell do you think I pass what I learn (which amounts to nothing TBH) on about debt situations is because I HAVE taken that advice and others can benefit from it. I have done everything that needs to be done. I am totally alone in all this, and I have done everything by myself. But I suppose I must be a very weak human being to be in such a struggle right now. In such a mess. Was my own fault after all. There are no happy endings in all this. Only more of the same which I know is coming. Nothing I ever do has stopped any of this from happening. It would seem someone, somewhere is determined to ram me into this direction come what may. All roads lead here.

So, yes, I have taken advice. I have taken in from CCCS, an indepdent money advisor, done plenty of things. Because when you know how you got into this mess, it's not a very nice thing to live with on your mind every day for the last 2 years, knowing that this point was inching closer.

I am not looking for any answers I am simply reacting to the !!!! storm that landed on top of me when it should be the other way round. And now I will log out. !!!!!! if I am not a strong person by now, with all the !!!!, the crap that has come my way ... I give up. I have always known that I will ultimately be living on the streets, almost went there when what was done to me was done, and I know that is coming whichever or whatever way I decide to go. That is not guessing, that is what I know is going to happen.

But I am a very weak human being simply because of feeling like this. Enough with it.

Oh and BTW but I didn't reach this point because of borrowing irresponsibly, either. Far from it. I have only ever behaved sensibly in life. What a waste of time that was. Maybe I should have committed a few crimes, then I'd have had a better life. Because being a good person gets you nothing in this life.

My post to you was not intended to be patronising. It was simply to say that bankruptcy or a dro will not break you if you don't allow it to.

You have this week made several posts relating to this and I am simply saying that a lot of folks have made suggestions or offered care/support to you, if you took that on board then you may feel better.

Not once have I suggested you are weak, or deserved to be in debt.
.

I won't delete my threads or threaten to leave the board, but if it is felt that my comment was out of hand then I will leave if requested.

LesleyL_2

can I add my two penny worth please?

I havent seen any other postings or history for Merlin's previous posts but wouild like to add a little compassion here if I may and forgive me if it's inappropriate because of previous postings on other threads.....

Sometimes when we are seeking the why answers - we are not always logical or fair in where we start to shout about the injustice of our situation....sometimes screaming at the people who DO try and help, simply because they are the ones who are there.

Many of us are in this situation because of life circumstances, not from anything more than bad luck or bad judgment......if we can't scream here about "why has it happend and isn't it unfair" some of us have nowhere else to go and scream

Merlin, I hope you can soon stop asking "why"
It's not helpful to you - I did the same, am still doing the same on some days, but only when we say, it is what it is, can you start to find the solutions and renewed stability we all are seeking

wishing you well
Lesley
xx

amersall

totally out if order, no need for a reply like that. i know i dont know why you are in this mess but there are far more people in this world who are a lot more unhappy about their lot in life . please dont have a go at the people on here its not their fault

amersall

peachyprice wrote: »

[/B]

I'd say so yes.

No-one here has done these things to you, so please don't hurl abuse at people who are trying to help.

well said:T

Merry_Gentry

LesleyL wrote: »

I havent seen any other postings or history for Merlin's previous posts but wouild like to add a little compassion here if I may and forgive me if it's inappropriate because of previous postings on other threads.....

Hi Lesley

I do understand where you are coming from, and of course we all want to be compassionate and offer advice. However, over the last week Merlin has made several what could be construed as "ranting posts" where he has received support and advice. He has rarely responded to the support offered, or even returned to these posts.

So forgive us if it seems as though we are not being compassionate - perhaps it's time for a bit of 'tough love' where we say that we are all here to support Merlin, and see him through whatever he decides to do but we're not going to take abuse from him.

LesleyL_2

thanks for pointing that out Merry,
it's why I stated I hadnt read any other posts

abuse is uncalled for, of course
but we all know from experience just how far down this BR stuff can take us - to unreasonable levels of behaviour, none are acceptable but sometimes maybe understandable.