I've totally lost the plot, really, haven't I

macgirl

Hiya

I kind of echo what LesleyL said. I have seen a few posts by Merlin and found them helpful and compassionate, but don't pretend I know anything of the recent history.

It's true that others have a worse lot in life yet can cope, but we're not all copers and everyone has their breaking point.

If you read this Merlin, there's a book you might be interested in called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louisa L. Hay.

It's quite spiritual, which some don't like, but does make you think and has been known to turn people's lives round. If you're not interested, fair enough.

I'm certainly not trying to cause offence or force my opinions on anyone, just reaching out to another human being in need (whether it's you or someone else reading this).

Sometimes you need a change in thinking before your life will really change. If that's you - maybe give this book a whirl....what have you got to lose?
Take Care

Lost2

One of two things Merlin
1) You are very angry about someone who has done you wrong
2) Your an attention seeker

You have made quit a few post in this vain and no matter how people have tried to help you, you don't seem to take anything they say on board.
I think may be you should seek more professionally help.
As may be the sort of help you are crying out for people
are not be able to give.

jellygirl_2

Merlin, bitterness will eat you up if you dont deal with it. Whats done is done - you are in the situation you are now regardless of who is to blame. Are you planning on going bankrupt? If so are the fees a problem? Will you be homeless if you go BR? What is stopping you from going BR and moving on?

Deep_In_Debt

Merlin,

As I've said before - I was dumped on from a great height by ex OH. I'm now left picking up the pieces and struggling to pay a mortgage and 27k of debt on my own and last year I was made redundant too.

He's living the life of Riley, I'm not. But I've changed my mindset now and am determined to enjoy life regardless. What keeps me going is the fact that I am dealing with this on my own and it's made me an incredibly strong person and I've learnt a lot on my journey in the last couple of years and I realise that both my physical health and mental health are far more important to me than money.

So chin up (in my case lots of them!!!) there's far worse things in life that can happen.

Richard_S

Merlin,

You say you're an intelligent person:

Whenever scientists are asked to define intelligence in terms of what causes it or what it actually is, almost every scientist comes up with a different definition. For example, in 1921 an academic journal asked 14 prominent psychologists and educators to define intelligence. The journal received 14 different definitions, although many experts emphasized the ability to learn from experience and the ability to adapt to one’s environment. In 1986 researchers repeated the experiment by asking 25 experts for their definition of intelligence. The researchers received many different definitions: general adaptability to new problems in life; ability to engage in abstract thinking; adjustment to the environment; capacity for knowledge and knowledge possessed; general capacity for independence, originality, and productiveness in thinking; capacity to acquire capacity; apprehension of relevant relationships; ability to judge, to understand, and to reason; deduction of relationships; and innate, general cognitive ability.

I see none of these traits in your posts.

If you're prepared to sacrifice your future for mistakes that you've made in the past, then how are you defining intelligence?

During the three years (almost) that I've been a member of this site I've seen people with problems that have seemed insurmoutable in their complexity and personal loss. By comparison, your problems are are easy to solve.

Stop looking back at how you've been abused, manipulated, robbed or cheated, I really can't remember exactly how you've worded it, and think only of today, and the future.

Bankruptcy or a DRO will draw a line under your financial problems and you can look forward to planning the rest of your life with certainty and enthusiasm. Continually "whingeing" about how badly you've been treated in the past is nauseating. Do you think you're the only one that's ever had to face hardship and uncertainty?

To be perfectly honest I think you're pathetic

provoking or expressing feelings of compassion and pity

You really do need to confront your problems, deal with them, and move on.

Richard

philnicandamy

Jenni....you will not leave

Merlin......i've been where you are & all this will do is eat you up inside day after day after day...all it hurts is you & nobody else (although I disagree a great deal with how you answered jenni...that was NOT needed)...i've had some hospital admissions after trying to end my life as well as treatment for a drink problem...all because i'd been holding on to the past....
you need to draw a line under everything & move on...I did & now life is good EVEN after recent ca treatment as well

Deep_In_Debt

Totally agree, put closure on the past and move on - it's hard, I know. I had to put closure on a 20 year relationship 2 years ago, even though I was left saddled with his debt, and every so often it comes back and bites me on the bum. I get "dark" moments but what keeps me going is the fact that I will do this and how proud and good I will feel when I have.

Apologies, if I sound a bit arrogant - don't mean to.

zantelover

You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks,...or even months, over-analyzing a situation......
trying to put the pieces together........
justifying, what could've......would've, should've, happened.......
or you can just leave the pieces on the floor....and move the f*** on.

restofmylife

Lost2 wrote: »

One of two things Merlin
1) You are very angry about someone who has done you wrong
2) Your an attention seeker

You have made quit a few post in this vain and no matter how people have tried to help you, you don't seem to take anything they say on board.
I think may be you should seek more professionally help.
As may be the sort of help you are crying out for people
are not be able to give.

Lost I totally agree with you maybe add a point 3 as follows...

3) Suffering from depression

Merlin,

I have seen your posts not just on the BR forum but others like Debt Free Wannabe and you are putting the same rants on there, people have tried their best to help you since you joined in Jan but looking at your posts you are sinking more into despair. People on here are normal people some who have been through worse than you, we are not professionals IE Doctors or Psyciatric Nurses.(wish I could spell:D)

GO AND SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP FROM THE NHS - IT IS FREE AND IT WILL GET YOU OUT OF THIS DARK CLOUD.

Sympathy can only last so long on forums like this for one person, personally I am happy to help anyone who wants to be helped - but I don't think you want help do you?

Frankly I am getting bored of all this.

ROML

Gorgeous_George

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

You have two problems. Money is the easy one to solve. Your mind is the other.

Start putting the wrongs right. Not today, start next Wednesday.

You eat an elephant by starting with the toes.

GG