Would like a 4th child but hubbies had the snip

Philippa36

As far as I am aware, from the information I have read and the couples I know who have been through the reversal operation ~ it has not been at all successful. I tend to agree with the post above ~

marriage is one long compromise

Bossyboots

Megabusymum wrote:

Reading your email really has made me think. I'd rather be a mum to the 3 I have than risk everything to have a 4th, thanks for giving me a bit of perspective.

I knew someone who died when she haemorraged during a C-section. That was only her second child and they simply could not save her. You are wise to reconsider your position, I cannot tell you the heartache of losing someone in such a way.

Broken_hearted

Hugs, you have a family and a partner who loves you. In the end thats all most people want.

Spendless

bonnie wrote:

i have had 4 c sections and would not recommend it to anyone, i have suffered a severe infection in the stomach and the lungs and had a haomatoma and a heamorrage, scars not healing properly. etc etc.
i now have major probems with scar adhesions which prevent from having intercourse and a normal life, i was told if i had any more it would kill me so hubby had snip.
i would have liked more children as i lost one and my 4th was handicapped, but its no worth risking your life for.

These bits I've hi-lighted are what has happened to me with 2 c-sections (unable to deliver normally) and also losing a lot of blood. It's amongst the many reasons why I will be sticking at the 2 children I have. A routine scan in the first pregnancy diagnosed an abnormality which resulted in the pregnancy ending, I was only 31 at the time. A tiny bit of me thinks "I wonder" about a third, but it's just not worth the health risks. I'd rather remain healthy for the 2 I already have.
All the best

Dora_the_Explorer_5

he made it plain he couldn't watch me go through another birth again

It seems to me that it doesn't matter if he has the reversal or not - he's already made his wishes quite clear to you.

MINMOUSE

I read your post with interest as I have 3 and would dearly love another but doubt that will ever happen as it took years to talk my husband into a 3rd. I would say speak it over with your husband and really try to be as open as possible. There are always negatives and positives to adding an addition to your family and only both of you will know what the best choice is.

purplepurple

Our local hospital wouldn't do the vasectomy op without both our signatures and in each of the three appointments we had prior to the op, we had to state that it was a joint decision and that we were both happy with carrying on. I'm surprised your husband got his op if you were so against it.

mummysaver

A friend of mine has 3 children, and he went for the snip immediately after the third one, he said it was the only way that he could make his wife realise that he really didn't want any more children. Not sure if this applies to your husband, but obviously he has serious misgivings about having more for many reasons.

Best wishes for the future, and whilst it is very hard not to obsess, try to think of what you already have, would it be worth giving up and possibly causing yourself great harm for what you might have?

Noozan

Megabusymum wrote:

Hello, I have three children 8, 5 and 3 and would like a fourth. I've had 3 C-sections and after 2 I haemoraged. I know I'm not getting any younger (36) and maybe he's right after all I had an amnio with No.3 after a iffy AFP result (everything was clear though).

You already have 3 healthly children and obviously had a stressful time during the third pregnancy. Be a fit healthy mum for the children you have been blessed with

I would give anything just to have one child.

patchwork_cat

I agree with Dora the explorer and Purple purple has a point. My husband had the snip after 2 our health authority doesn't ask both to sign, but I know a lot who do and a lot of G P 's won't refer unless both partners consent.

Did your husband talk to you when he had the snip, if so did you object then or did he just do it without discussion? He think he hsa decided no more you say you had to talk him into No. 3 perhaps he had the snip so that you couldn't talk him into No. 4.

I get very broody these days. When I was younger I wasn't particularly broody, but at 39 and for the last couple of years I can get very broody. Logic tells me no, but my heart says oh I want... I think that maybe it is hormonal - your body saying come on not long now. I would be interested to hear if other people hear their biological clock even though they already have kids, but feel more broody than they used to.