Keeping my marriage exciting

SmellyOldSock

Hi, was wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to keep a marriage exciting!

I recently had some attention from a young man, nothing came of it, but its made me realise what my marriage is lacking.

I love my hubbie very much, we have 3 children and 3 from his first marriage. Next month we'll be celebrating our 5th anniversary. We've been together 7 years altogether ~ yeah the 7 year itch!

Its me thats the problem, I crave a bit more attention I suppose, I feel awful for feeling like this but I can't help it. I'm not looking for an affair, its the last thing I want.

any advice?

lostinrates

DH and I go on a monthly date. We take turns: i.e. one month he takes me out...he chooses what we do/where we go, next month I take him. Its nice to get ready properly for a ''date'' with each other, not going out with other people/to dinner, but making sure we are making an effort for each other. We've been together 6 years married for four (I think ) and it just keeps getting better.

RoseFairy

how about short weekend away trips/B&B whether with or without kids as you are a family now - sometimes enjoying time out as a family is good bonding. or long drives to some countryside like areas with views etc. or cinema/dinner out/. just some time out together to talk again about the 'usual' things in life can be a good way to let off personal stress and get to know each other again. even if its hiring a dvd and having hagaan daaz together! it does not have to cost so much (given the economic crisis atm) but something simple - eg sometimes simple time together with your kids is more valuable than spending on expensive toys for them.

sometimes life together gets a bit predictable or monotonous and regular, just something a little different say even 2 alternate weekends could refresh you.

we made an effort (when kids started school), to send our kids to bed around 8-9 pm so that we can have at least a couple of hours together to talk or canoodle (not necessarily s*x) but to enjoy each others company and physical warmth - we still do this to this day and also try and send kids out to say sunday school or hobbies not requiring our time there but to use those few hours to 'do it' during day time and not the usual night time! (hopeit makes sense - will have to go for now but will complete reply later...

or you could both join a gym or if the weathers fine do some sports together at local park - or even a picnic. or dance sessions home or out! you know how like when you have a young baby you devote somuch time to them that you forget me time - and when they start to grow up and become a little independent you end up forgetting about 'us' time - which is really important in keeping a relationship alive.

although its easier said than done - but s*x is really important and though it takes a backseat to the bottom of the list try and make an effort to do it at least every 2-3days - the hormones and endorphins released gets both bodies in tune and in sync with each other; it has a domino effect both ways - ie keep it up and you are more bonded moodwise etc and let it astray and you become bitter towards each other. this is natures way of releasing stress and solving headaches!!!!!

btw have been married for 14yrs!


just athought.

Gingham_Ribbon

'Date Night' sounds corny but it is a good way of making sure you make proper time for each other once a week. You don't need to go out so no babysitter hassles and it doesn't have to cost anything. Just make sure the tv is off, you have something nice for dinner (maybe by candlelight) you talk properly etc.

If the kids are old enough to be up late, make sure they understand that you want to be left alone, either in your room or the lounge, or anywhere that it's just about you two. Reward younger ones for staying in bed etc if you find it difficult to get some peace.

If the older ones are old enough to babysit, make use of that too.

Jei70

It's great that you've realised what's lacking in your relationship and want to fix it, rather than jumping into the first available bed! :A

Date Night is a brilliant suggestion, as long as you see it as fun and exciting, not just another chore to fit into your already busy life.

Make sure you give yourself enough time to prepare - have a nice hot shower, or even a sweet smelling bubble bath, put makeup on, wear something that makes you feel sexy and do your hair the way you (and/or your DH!) like(s) it. Imagine you're going on a date with a handsome, smart guy who can make you laugh (and has any other special qualities your DH has), and you're looking forward to the mutual seduction...

If you can afford it, going away even only for one night (to a nice B&B or a hotel) may remind both of you what it feels like to be a sexual being, rather than just a parent!

Good luck!

Debt_Free_Chick

SmellyOldSock wrote: »

Hi, was wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to keep a marriage exciting!

I recently had some attention from a young man, nothing came of it, but its made me realise what my marriage is lacking.

I love my hubbie very much, we have 3 children and 3 from his first marriage. Next month we'll be celebrating our 5th anniversary. We've been together 7 years altogether ~ yeah the 7 year itch!

Its me thats the problem, I crave a bit more attention I suppose, I feel awful for feeling like this but I can't help it. I'm not looking for an affair, its the last thing I want.

any advice?

To me, the only thing is to work out what it is you need from your OH and then to sit down calmly and tell him - in a way that doesn't sound like "criticism". He needs to know what it is that works for you.

RoxieW

weekends away
date nights
sexy undies
surprises - anything - a small gift, a treat in the bedroom, get a dvd that he would like etc

I get where you are coming from - me and OH have been together 10 years and have 3 kids and it is difficult to remember that we are both youngsters in love and not old drudges lol. We make a point to go away just us once a year - usually somewhere really gorgeous and a luxurious hotel (I figure our relationship is worth investing in,a divorce would cost far more - that's my excuse anyway!). This is our chance to reconnect - even if it's just one night - and be with each other and also creates lots of happy memories which I think are vital to look back on fondly. We've explored lots of wonderful cities together - from york to new york lol. But memories can be created equally by sharing other new experiences. We've been dry slope snowboarding, stayed a night on a narrow boat, kayaked etc.
In between we go out on dates (well, we did, we've got a newborn so not at the mo unfortunately ) but that always helps as it forces you to make an effort with apearance and with converation and to talk and also listen.
OTH
If all else fails - open the door to him in saucy undies and take a bottle of choc.=/toffee sauce up to bed

Bella79

we try and make a little time for ourselfs my mum takes the los on a sat and we do soemthing nice together

yesturday for eg we got in the bath together then into bed all afternoon :@) it felt so induldgent going to bed on a afternoon but it was lovely

Pssst

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Go away for a weekend or a week on holiday on your own or with a friend.

diable

Pssst wrote: »

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Go away for a weekend or a week on holiday on your own or with a friend.

Are you suggesting with the "younger" man _pale_

naijapower

diable wrote: »

Are you suggesting with the "younger" man _pale_

seems thats the story.....