Keeping my marriage exciting

Pssst

diable wrote: »

Are you suggesting with the "younger" man _pale_

TBH that never entered my head though come to think of it, it could be an option. The OP didnt disclose the nature of the "attention" which she has received from this younger man..?

windswept

It's just one of those things that happens in a marriage when you have young children, or even teenagers, and life just gets in the way of you as a couple.
We've just had our 24the anniversary and have recently come through a tough time in our marriage - basically we let things slide in regards to being a couple of lovers and were just a mum and dad. The intimacy can easily ebb away when you don't make time for each other - we've joined the National trust and have lots of days out, plus going for meals or to the cinema - we went to see Star trek last night and instead of just sitting eating sweets, we were holding hands and touching each other throughout the film, it just put you "in the mood" for some lovin'. We often get in the bath together and it does bring you closer - of course, we have TIME for each other now in a way we didn't have for 18 years of child rearing/ career building etc.
Couples who never lose that spark ( even temporarily) are very lucky - we are and always have been, soulmates but we did take each other for granted for quite a while, it's just one of those things that happen and I can well understand the growing trend of couples divorcing after many years, sometimes, people feel that it's too hard to work at things to get back on track . It can make you feel like you are learning about each other all over again, listening to each other - really listening, is vital too as it's all too easy to just switch off .
Having someone to take the kids off your hands is the best way of reconnecting as just the two of you, not having that makes things much harder I think.

windswept

Pssst wrote: »

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Go away for a weekend or a week on holiday on your own or with a friend.

I totally disagree - absence can breed a lot of resentment, I hated my hubby working away and although I never realised it at the time, it had a huge impact on our lovelife, I became totally uninterested in him and it switched off my libido .

themaccas

windswept wrote: »

I totally disagree - absence can breed a lot of resentment, I hated my hubby working away and although I never realised it at the time, it had a huge impact on our lovelife, I became totally uninterested in him and it switched off my libido .

Yes, in my case it has bred resentment too.

diable

Pssst wrote: »

TBH that never entered my head though come to think of it, it could be an option. The OP didnt disclose the nature of the "attention" which she has received from this younger man..?

I was joking ;o))

What you need to think about is what drew you together and as someone else in this post mentioned is just going to the cinema and holding hands was the catalyst for something more exciting and remembering what was nice in the relationship ;o))

SmellyOldSock

many thanks for your replies.

We both use to make an effort, now neither of us do.

He's just got back from working away for a couple of weeks, during that time I didn't sleep properly or eat properly. I missed him like crazy and then he comes home and its all back to 'normal'.

Some people are happy to plodd along like this, but I'm not. Partly because of the temptation laid in my path, I don't want to induldge in that! I want it with the father of my children, with the man I said I do to !

I will be putting some of these ideas into action

many thanks

tori.k

me and hubby have a joint hobby (we are part of a charity group) we are doing trail walker in july this year, so spend alot of time training together (there more than one way to keep fit...lol) the kids partake in some events my oldest 2 did this years ten tors, but its mainly just me and hubby... my favourite bit is we sneak off and hit the steam room/sauna at a local spa..
will get to the point your right it is important to touch base with your OH, night out/weekends away as the kids will grow and leave then its just the 2 of you,
i think there is a lot to be said," in those that play together stay together"
have fun!

Debt_Free_Chick

SmellyOldSock wrote: »

I missed him like crazy

Did you tell him this? Did you make it absolutely unequivocally clear to him - men can be a bit thick when it comes to feelings and you have to drum it into them, sometimes

wes_cov

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

Did you tell him this? Did you make it absolutely unequivocally clear to him - men can be a bit thick when it comes to feelings and you have to drum it into them, sometimes

As a Man i refute! that we can actually be Very thick

vaio

owens3116 wrote: »

we try and make a little time for ourselfs my mum takes the los on a sat and we do soemthing nice together

yesturday for eg we got in the bath together then into bed all afternoon :@) it felt so induldgent going to bed on a afternoon but it was lovely

We (both 50+) do that most weekends, it’s delightful.

We also look after the GCs so their parents can have some time. Sadly they usually end up going to the garden centre. When they first mentioned this I thought it was a euphemism for some kinky position but no, they actually go to a big shed somewhere and buy plants and bags of earth???

Youth is wasted on the young