I honestly don't know what to do anymore

Flowerpot_2

Lightattheend wrote: »

That is very true, because if you don't help yourself first then how will you be able to help anyone else?

I totally agree :T
FP
xxx

blind-as-a-bat_2

I honestly don't know what to do anymore

I went BR at the begining of 2007 and i still feel like that

Merlinexcalibur

It sounds as if you need a completely fresh start in order to forget the past. Though the past will never go away

Yes, you are right. Hopefully something I did earlier in this week will begin that process. A step, like Flowerpot said. I feel positive about that more, because it's putting into practice what I say a lot about helping. And I want it to dovetail into bigger things eventually. Step by step. I mean I've done it for years in one form or another but this is the first time I am hoping to use it more productively. And it's time my light shined, flourished as it's been too long in the shadow. Needs to be chanelled before it gets wasted. I struggle with the more higher things with debt for example ie legal things, but what I learn is passed on.

Edit- but the one thing I have learnt about myself is when I come down on myself I do.

dreamcatcher73

Merlin, I am sorry to hear of the pain you have experienced, which is obviously so very entrenched within you still. Things will get better, what the future holds for us, no-one knows, but one thing I have learnt over the years is to never give up hope.

I have had a horrible life really, if I sat down and thought about it and analysed it I think I would go insane and think that "someone up there" really had it in for me. Many a time I have thought about leaving my life behind and giving up on what has been years and years of hurt and pain, but I soldier on.. why? because I live in hope.. hope that one day I won't feel like this, hope that one day I will find my destiny and it will be something that will make me happy for once in my life.

Sometimes I feel I am being constantly tested, so I will keep battling on through the tests, until the day I get my rewards, it will come, it has to, that's what I live for.. hope

Keep battling, never give up hope, things will get better and until they do, there is always someone willing to offer a shoulder

Take care, my thoughts are with you

Merlinexcalibur

Thank you for all the kind words. I will always try to be here should any of you need any help or someone to talk to. You are correct Dreamcatcher. I know something drags me on to something. Whenever whomever decides to show me etc.

Dreamcatcher, can I ask? Do you make Dreamcatchers at all? Yeah, I know it's probably a silly question but was wondering, thinking about asking you.

pmg19680

Merlinexcalibur wrote: »

Yes, you are right. Hopefully something I did earlier in this week will begin that process. A step, like Flowerpot said. I feel positive about that more, because it's putting into practice what I say a lot about helping. And I want it to dovetail into bigger things eventually. Step by step. I mean I've done it for years in one form or another but this is the first time I am hoping to use it more productively. And it's time my light shined, flourished as it's been too long in the shadow. Needs to be chanelled before it gets wasted. I struggle with the more higher things with debt for example ie legal things, but what I learn is passed on.

Edit- but the one thing I have learnt about myself is when I come down on myself I do.

Keep your chin up merlin x

dreamcatcher73

Hi Merlin, no I don't make dreamcatchers, the name came from the Stephen King book, my favourite author and I thought it had an air of hope about it I guess. Still trying to catch my dreams though!

It's funny really because even though I have a total of 0.01 in my bank account, I still feel happier than I have in ages, away from the people that were destroying me. Just starting to find my feet again, with alot of help from this forum and the kind words that are said to me when I am at my lowest. It's good to have friends to turn to, even cyber ones

Merlinexcalibur

hope that one day I won't feel like this, hope that one day I will find my destiny and it will be something that will make me happy for once in my life.

If I told you yes ...

Well, I thought it might have been Stephen King. My apologies, my 'intuition' goes on the fritz at these times, too.

dreamcatcher73

Merlinexcalibur wrote: »

If I told you yes ...

I would believe you, because I still have hope

philnicandamy

Merlin.....i've not had the pleasure of knowing you for long BUT life will improve things always have a solution (just sometimes it takes a little longer) i'm 38 & been diagnosed with prostate CA I thought it was the end of the world but people are great i've been blown away by people here many many times before......your welcome to rant/rave/pour everything out here.....you can always email me & i'll chat anytime of the day or night (one of the joys of not sleeping very well!!)...i'll agree with BAT I went BR in 2007 as well & I still feel like your feeling some days....but life WILL improve