Please help with baby blues and sleeping

moneypanicker

You will be bombarded with information on what is best at the end of the day you know your baby and you can work out what is best.

My third baby is now 5 months and he seemed to want to breastfeed all the time which made me think i didn't have enough milk so i supplemented with formula he still only lasted an hour and half after a full bottle feed so was obviously just hungry!! All my children have slept through the night (12 hours) from 6 , 7 and 8 weeks they just fed all day! With babies 2 and 3 i didn't let them sleep for longer than 3 hours in the day my view being that if they wanted a long sleep they could do it at night.

It really does get easier i found getting into a bedtime routine really suited us i used to express and i used to go to bed really early and my husband did the bath, bottle, bed routine and gave me a longer stint at sleep. We still do this now although i don't go to bed quite so early!

Good luck you sound like you are doing a great job don't forget if you fancy chocolate eat chocolate you need the energy when breastfeeding.;)

skintchick

Mine isn;t here yet so I can;t offer much advice, but if you want to co-sleep and only have a standard double (like me0 then a crib like this might help http://www.expressyourselfmums.co.uk/details2.asp/ProductID/237/sid/18/bedside-crib.htm
It attaches to your bed, and gives the baby its own space but right next to you. No worries about crushing baby but all the benefits of cosleeping.

galvanizersbaby

moneypanicker wrote: »

You will be bombarded with information on what is best at the end of the day you know your baby and you can work out what is best.

Hello OP
My 'babies' are 5 and 6 now but I can still remember those early days - things will get better
I think the advice above is good - don't worry too much about what people say you should and shouldn't do at this stage no matter how well meaning.
Gina Ford and the other baby books work well for some/for others not so well - take the bits you like that work well for you and baby and leave the rest.
It's all trial and error (within the limits of safely obviously!)

Some stuff that I think worked for me was:
As another poster has suggested keep the lights dim at night and speaking softly
Co-sleeping worked for DS but not for DD
Unfortunately didn't get off the ground with the sling as had c section and dodgy back
Both of mine liked being swaddled at night
DS responded well to a dummy but DD wouldn't entertain it

From birth I also had a black and white shapes and patterns dangling mobile that played beethoven/other classical music and both of mine were captivated by it.
They would lay staring and listening for ages under it and sometimes I used it to get them off to sleep.
I can't for the life of me remember what it was called so I don't know if you can still buy it - it was expensive but very worth it
Can anyone remember what it's called or know if it's still available now?

pukkamum

My main bit of advice would be to expect to be awake most of the night at this age and go from there.

I found with my first that iwas so anxious about getting him back down after bf'ing at night that i'm sure this rubbed of on ds and caused him to be more unsettled.
Also my DH being awake also put more pressure on me to get him back down a.s.a.p.
So when i had my dd i resigned myself to being awake for most of the night and tried to 'enjoy' it!
I know that sounds a bit weird the idea of enjoying being awake at four in the morning with a baby attatched to your breast, but i would have a book or magazine to hand, kept the lights really low, and would just relax and enjoy the quiet peace of just me and her.

It worked!!!
I didn't feel anxious about getting her back down i would often become so engrossed in my book or just watching her feed that she would be fast asleep and i wouldn't realise!
I think this helped as all too often as soon as my first was done feeding i would try and put him down when he wasn't really asleep.
This though means that you have to sleep in the day when baby does.
In those first few weeks i would stay in bed with her as long as poss in the morn and would lie on the couch in the afternoon (and i had a 4 year old luckily at school).
This really worked for me and maybe it's worth giving it a go??

dawn_rose

hiya hun congrats on your lil one, its really early days and things will get easier, your obviously doing brill as a mum. try and rest as much as you can in the day, leave the housework unless its sommaty totally necessary, accept all help your offered with a yes please. im sure baby will establish its own routine in a few more weeks when its ready at moment it has a small tummy and needs feeding often this will get longer too. i personally find gina ford to regimented shes never had a child herself and has no emotional link to any child shes looked after and no maternal feeling which a mum has. take care of yourself your doing great and itll all settle down soon.

kjmtidea

I have 4 children and my youngest was (and still is!) a very difficult baby. The only things that have kept me sane are my slings - I have 2 mei tais and just fitting sleep in as and when you can. It is difficult, you will feel like absolute crap at times but you will get through it.
Some people do sleep in seperate rooms, you need to do what suits you. My boyfriend is a heavy sleeper so it was never an issue here but you need to do what is best so that you can both get some sleep. If breast feeding is working well then I definitely would not be using bottles, soon enough you will be able to express and then your partner can be doing some of the feeds.
Congratulations on your little one.

msb5262

Hello squishyclaire,
Sorry you're feeling exhausted and stressed - hope you will soon feel much better and less pressured. Congratulations on your baby and please try to understand, it's all normal...normal for the baby to want to feed a lot (expecially at night), normal for you to feel anxious and worn, normal for the baby to want to be held most of the time. It's a massive change in your life so you're bound to feel rather unsettled, and you're probably still exhausted and sore from the whole pregnancy and birth. Everything will improve gradually, just keep being good to the baby and good to yourself. You've had lots of great advice here about breastfeeding - I reckon you'll find it all gets much easier as you go along, and you'll be back here reassuring other new mums before long. My kids are now much older (youngest is 10!) but your opening post brought it all back to me. It's a bit Tale of Two Cities:
"It was the best of times and the worst of times..."
Keep going, we're all here to help you hold it together. Enjoy that baby as much as you can and don't forget, your body will heal itself after giving birth and start to feel much better quite quickly, especially if you eat well, drink, breastfeed and rest as much as you can.
Best wishes,
MsB

sooz

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

From birth I also had a black and white shapes and patterns dangling mobile that played beethoven/other classical music and both of mine were captivated by it.
They would lay staring and listening for ages under it and sometimes I used it to get them off to sleep.
I can't for the life of me remember what it was called so I don't know if you can still buy it - it was expensive but very worth it
Can anyone remember what it's called or know if it's still available now?

I think it's one of the Tiny Love symphony in motion ones. I don't think they still do the one just with the black & white patterns, but they now do ones with furry animals & a black & white swirly pattern (very trippy ).
They are expensive (c. £50 I think), but you can normally find loads at posher NCT sales for about £5

Mappygirl

Hi Squishyclaire,

Firstly congratulations on your little one! And well done for breastfeeding - it's hard to do! My DD is 3 now and I remenber in the first few weeks not feeling good enough - I thought I should be this super mum that could manage new baby, cleaning the house and feel great all at once! I soon realised that this wasn't going to happen LOL!! Once I'd got past the guilt of not being perfect I started to enjoy DD so much more!
You just need to take things slow, don't think you have to have everything right all the time.

Maybe suggest that your OH doesn't get up at night and maybe if you could express for one bottle he could do the first one of the day and you get a lie in? Just try different things and see what works for you.

I used to love holding DD while she had her afternoon nap - I'd do her bottle and a cup of tea for me and relax on the sofa for an hour or so! I think that because she was lying on me I couldn't get up and do anything else like housework!

It does get easier, really it does! Just relax about it all, having a baby is such a big change to your lives and it takes time to learn how to be parents!

Good Luck x

MadDogWoman_2

Hi Squishyclare

My DH would make himself useful in the night when DD was tiny, he would change her nappy - a lifesaver for me as I had a c-section as I couldn't bend.

I found those early days really exhausting, I was recovering from major abdominal surgery and bf as well. I had to sit up at night to feed as lying on my side was incredibly painful. I lost count of the number of times I fell asleep feeding her.

If your son wants cuddles give them, I agree with all the advice you have been given so won't add anymore.

I came to love those night feeds, I saw it as our time while the rest of the world slept - my mum thought I was very strange.

We started co-sleeping when she was 8 or 9 months old, it took us this long to figure out lying down feeding.

I read Ms Ford got really stressed about when she was tiny, DH gave me a talking to and I threw the book away.

I have only ever followed my instincts.

MDW

P.S. It must get easier as my DD is 2 and is bf 3 x day plus more at night!