Please help with baby blues and sleeping

hayleyc_2

Just wanted to say I totally agree with the above post re-cosleeping. We co-slept with DS since birth and I don't know how I'd have coped with breastfeeding and getting enough sleep etc otherwise! We've had the occassional bad night but this is usually due to teething or illness. 99% of the time DS would wake up, have a quick feed and then settle back to sleep next to us.

skylight

I have co-slept with all of mine. Its aok IF done properly. So the basic rules, don't do it if either of you/OH smoke, over tired, on any drugs that make you drowsy or illegal ones, light coverings so baby doesn't get hot (very important - babies cannot regulate their body temperatures). There are very real potential risks too; read up as much as you can as views differ (is it the accident prevention something or other) thats states it should never happen, but the midwifery will tell you its great! I am not putting a downer on this, as I have already said I have done it with all of mine for the first few months (all 5 of them!) but you need to be fully informed.

It does get better. You just have to find a system that works for you.

sooz

The first few weeks are really hard. First, I suggest you punch your 'friend'. That will relieve a lot of frustration.

Then do as everyone here suggests. Eat & drink well, sleep whenever you can, even just try to rest when your baby is sleeping, ignore all housework. My OH would try to get up with me when I was feeding in the night, just to keep me company. I told him to go back to sleep, so he could help me more during the day/after work. Instead, he bought me a really good series I wanted to watch on dvd. So when I fed in the night, I put an episode on to keep myself awake.

My babies all also loved being swaddled at night. If a hand crept free, they would wake up.

jenhug

Why not try expressing enough for a bottle or two at night and take it in turns, one night you do the night feed, the next your hubby. We did this and it worked great, neither of us felt guilty for not getting up on our "night off" and we both had a turn at a decent night sleep!

Keep the lights low and don't speak unless you really have to.

Remember, your baby is new in town and it isn't personal! (I can remember crying that my daughter hated me, she didn't of course, but I was stressed and she picked up on it!)

Have you tried a dummy to soothe him?

Its all trial and error at this age I am afraid! Soon you will be a pro at it and these first few weeks will be a dim and distant memory!

samsil

yeah sometimes you have to just go with the flow, we tried the gina ford etc, it just makes you more stressed if you are trying to force a routine to work, and is more frustrating , all babies are different.

When ours was little, when he was up in the night for a feed he never went straight back down (like everyone elses babies seemed to do !) I just decided to go with it and was up watching movies i'd recorded on the sky plus. Night and day seemed all one blur...

It does pass...though I think in the end I gave up breastfeeding at night (im not saying you should...I still wonder if I could have hung on in there) and he went on bottles at night as I struggled with the breastfeeding he used to latch on for 20 mins, sruggled to feed, fell of the breast exhausted then slept for 20 mins, latched on again, repeat, repeat....! thus I was shattered and ended up with PND, I had to think of myself and put him on formula.....
in all you have to look after yourself as well as the baby, shattered exhausted mum not good.......
hope my mumbling helps, its very very hard being a new mum its a shock to the system nothing can prepare you for it just muddle through and take care of yourself...time flies you will look back and it will seem like such a short period of time x

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart

Having to hold baby most of the time is very normal, you know Not to be 'resorted' to! I second what others have said about a sling. Also, remember that this is nature's way of saying "you only gave birth ten days ago - sit down and take it easy!"

The nice thing about wearing a sling is that it'ssomething your husband can do. My H would often 'wear' the baby to give me a break - he got loads of attention when out :rotfl:and it was a lovely way to bond.

ETA - the night breastfeeds are the most important ones for keeping up your supply, so I would try things other than having a 'night off' at this stage. You may well end up with engorgement, which is highly unpleasant!

Fritha_2

Another swearing by the sling, I have exactly the same top and sleeping baby as in the picture but a different sling. I have a wrapsody one like this, like the kari me it's also a stretchy wrap (but wider and less stretchy so it can be used for longer) so it's very comfortable. Very very higly recommended.

We had terrible trouble with night waking when Celia was tiny, we split the night. I fed her but my dh passed her to me when she woke and put her back down when she was fed. Sometimes he even just held her for a couple of hours so I could sleep. He always slept next to me through the feeds (and indeed still does) so if I needed him he was there but he still got sleep! (He's got good at sleeping through the sound of slurping!)

Don't feel guilty about anything you do, you and your baby are unique and pretty much as long as you're both happy you're doing the right thing!

3onitsway

First - congrats on your baby! :T:T

Mine is now 13 weeks old, so I promise you it does get easier!
As many have said - stuff the housework, its not important. Those first few weeks with your baby are precious - and absolutely fly by!

I would also recommend trying feeding lying down, on your side with baby facing you. We did that for a good few weeks - so there were lots of half-asleep feeds - just waking enough to swap sides during the night. Now she goes in her basket from around 8pm til 4am, then I feed her in bed and we drift off again til around 6 or 7. I don't think switching to bottles would help really - i see bottles as more bother with sterilising/making up/warming etc.

OH would be better off trying to sleep through the night, to be more helpful to you during the day. There's no point in all of you being sleep deprived. Also, when he gets back to work, get him to take the baby for an hour or two when he comes home so you get some me time.

And when you get time - come and join the MSE Parent Thread. If you've any issues/problems there is bound to be someone on there who's gone through similar - they're a friendly bunch! (The one handed typing gets easier too!)

rev229

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart wrote: »

Don't don't don't put your baby in another room at this point (as the midwife below suggests?!) - they need to be in your bedroom at this age. Your breathing nearby stimulates their breathing. I also wouldn't be expressing milk off at this point on a regular basis; you're only just establishing your supply. Don't be surprised if your baby doesn't settle with dad at this age; they are programmed to seek you out as a means of survival. It doesn't mean dad is pointless; he just has another role to play.

Not too sure if you are referring to me or not. To make it clear I was not suggesting the OP allows the baby to sleep in another room. The advice was to let her husband settle him in another room so she was able to rest and not becoming increasingly upset by the baby crying. once baby had settled dad would be able to return to the bedroom and hopefully put him back in his crib.

Crispy_Ambulance

Congratulations on your baby!

Little babies can cry a lot - this is normal. Don't worry that you are doing anything wrong - try to rest when your baby sleeps and don't expect too much of yourself right now. Just get through it and it will get easier.

If he is breastfeeding fine, you are doing a grand job.