MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you give up a £50 train seat for a pregnant woman?

edited 12 May 2009 at 8:04PM in Money Saving Polls
630 replies 67.4K views


  • tim_ntim_n Forumite
    1.6K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    First of all there are seats on trains for disabled/pregnant people, so hopefully she could use one of those.

    If I was sitting near one of those, and there was someone using them that should really be giving them up, I'd pull myself out of my personal privacy bubble long enough to put them on the spot and ask them to give up their seat. I'd paid for mine, they hadn't and it is a priority seat.

    If none were available, yes I'd give up my seat. I'd do it on the tube (and often do) but only if they're elderly, disabled or heavily pregnant. I remember once getting up to let an old lady sit down, and before she could a girl in high heels nipped in and stole it saying 'thank you'. I explained the situation in no uncertain terms and after disapproving looks from commuters around me, she finally budged.

    But what gets my goat is a few months ago on a trip to Coventry from Euston, an old lady had booked a seat because she was unable to stand. Some little scrote (about the same age as me) had decided that he'd pull out the reserved ticket, screw it up and bin it. When the lady turned up, he denied all knowledge and said it was, in essance, finders keepers.

    It's not often I get so enraged. I leaned over, told him that if he wasn't going to get out of the seat he'd appropriated, then I was happy to pull the cord above my seat and pay the fine. When he realised I was being serious, he moved and left the carriage in embarrisment. Meantime the carriage errupted in applause.

    Where did common human decency go?
  • What a shame that quite a few of us do not seem to care for others any more.
    I was brought up to have respect for others and although I admit its not appreciated for alot of the time I will not stop.
    What if it was your Sister, Mum or Aunt that needed a seat would you say oh sorry I have booked this you can not sit down?????

    Ettiquette may dying but come on guys....
  • edited 13 May 2009 at 8:31AM
    marmalade77marmalade77 Forumite
    1 Post
    edited 13 May 2009 at 8:31AM
    No Way!!
    If that woman did not have the forethought to buy an advanced ticket then I don't see why I should have to give my seat up. If someone was obese, and carrying the same excess body weight then i would not give my seat up for them, so why should it be any different for a pregnant woman.

    If it was an elderly person or someone who had a disability so they could not stand, then i would give up my seat with no hesitation. I usually do this on our local metro system but pregnant woman - forget it. Why should I have to give up my seat just because she's pregnant.!! ps I am a woman of child bearing age and I would never ask someone to give up their seat for me.
  • Skippy2rooSkippy2roo Forumite
    279 Posts
    100 Posts
    Sorry don't do trains, overcrowded, smelly, toilets never work and all this for 5 hours she'd be welcome to the seat. Fly down to where ever and guarantee a seat.
    Hello again
  • robpw2robpw2 Forumite
    14K Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    What a shame that quite a few of us do not seem to care for others any more.
    I was brought up to have respect for others and although I admit its not appreciated for alot of the time I will not stop.
    What if it was your Sister, Mum or Aunt that needed a seat would you say oh sorry I have booked this you can not sit down?????

    Ettiquette may dying but come on guys....

    yes but why should i have to explain about my disability etc just because people cannot see it untill i have to try and stand and move around .

    I am sorry but you do not know everyones back story

    i book a seat if possible because other wise i have to stand in agony being thrown around a very fast moving train but because i am not old .. pregnant or a women i get the greif from people like you for not wanting to give up my seat to someone else ..

    if it was my mum .. id be very worried if she got pregnant ... over 60 ...
    my sister .. she would understand about my disability wht happens then do you pick straws to see who deserves it more ..

    would a pregnant women give up a seat for an old lady ?

    i know for a fact that old people and women with childeren do not want to give up their fold down seat at front of buses for someone in a wheelchair ..

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  • DKLSDKLS Forumite
    13.5K Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Normally I would offer my seat, but after one incident I am much more careful to check that the lady isnt just fat rather then pregnant.

    Once in a packed carriage, I saw a heavily pregnant woman huffing and puffing, so gallantly offered her my seat saying "you need this more than me in your condition" she turned on me and screeched so the entire carriage could hear "I am not pregnant I AM FAT!!!!!" I promptly hid behind my paper and she didnt get my seat.
  • I am a 69 year old man with back and leg problems and severe arthritis. YES, of course I would offer my seat to a heavily pregnant woman. This is called Manners, Respect, Etiquette and Chivalry. If I found that I was in too much pain after a while, I would ask her to allow me to sit for a short while to rest, then I would give the seat up again.
    People nowadays have no understanding or empathy for others, and very little respect for for those wonderful beings, Females. Females are the most important thing in the lives of us men and should be treated with care and consideration.
  • purplegailypurplegaily Forumite
    48 Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I've had twins, and was on a packed train during my last week of work before Mat Leave (37 weeks) - the journey is supposed to be 30 minutes long, so I wasn't bothered when i had to stand. When the train stopped between stations for 45 minutes due to a failure of the train in front, the only person that got any attention was the lady who fainted from the heat.

    I say attention, but someone offered her some water, and the only people paying attention to her were also standing. Noone offered her a seat, and she ended up sitting on the floor. Fortunately I was leaning against the door, by a window, but it does show a lack of respect for those who may need the seats more.

    Having been there, I think I'd have to make to the offer of a seat to the lady, but it might not be the msot gracious offer I've ever made - mumbling something under my breath about pre booking!!
    Always on the look out for a bargain. :smileyhea Thanks if you've helped me bag one.
  • smk77smk77 Forumite
    3.6K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    scotsbob wrote: »
    Certainly not.

    I wouldn't want to be regarded as sexist and politically incorrect by showing favour.

    Besides, we taxpayers are subsidising her pregnancy with state handouts, I'm not giving up a seat as well.

    What a stupid thing to say! Most women who are pregnant spend 90+% of their pregnancy working and paying taxes. My wife worked until 3 weeks before our son was born. During those 3 weeks she was entitled to £350 SMP which was actually LESS than she paid in tax during the same period on her work maternity pay which you certainly didn't pay for!!! Also I paid more in tax during the same 3 week period than she claimed whilst pregnant and this was tens of thousands of pounds less that she has paid in tax during her working life. How dare you suggest that the tax payer subsidised her pregnancy!!

    If you subsidise anything it's the 12 months AFTER the birth..i.e. when they are no longer pregnant and entitled to their company maternity pay!

    I don't regard you as sexist and politically incorrect - you are just a ignorant fool!
  • rominaromina Forumite
    5 Posts
    I cant believe how selfish some people are.

    I also have an 'invisible' disability, which means that I am likely to fall if standing on a moving train, and if I fall, I'm likely to dislocate something (which would cause an awful lot more disruption to every passenger on that train, and many others, if the whole train needed to wait for an ambulance for me).

    I commute by train, with a reserved seat every day (which the train company arranges, following a letter from my consultant). I frequently find someone sitting in my seat, and they have always moved graciously when I tell them I have reserved the seat. If I need to, I will happily explain my condition - why shouldn't I be prepared to do that - it is invisible after all - I cant expect them to be clairvoyant - and I'm not ashamed of it?

    I have also been pregnant and yes it is not an illness, but it can be a very tough experience physically. Yes, pregnant women choose to be so, but why can't we all just show a little more compassion to each other - rather than always trying to outwit others, or 'win'.

    How about taking the time to try to, just for a moment, put yourself in the other person's position - the position that they ARE in now, rather than what you think (without knowing anything about them) they SHOULD have done.....

    I would not stand, but I would explain exactly why I was unable to do so (and the risks if I did stand) and would ask someone else to give up their seat, or even take turns in doing so.
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