MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you give up a £50 train seat for a pregnant woman?

inneedofabreak

I totally agree with jwillow. Its all about the manners. Likewise, thanking the bus driver(even the miserable ones-to make them feel guilty) holding doors open for anyone, and saying please and thank you. I have been on a bus full of students( no offence to all students, its just who this particular bus was filled with) whilst heavily pregnant, and not one person offered me a seat on the 45 minute journey. Its a moral question, and i pity those of you who are too shallow to help.

blue_monkey_2

So.... you can book a seat for every single train journey you take can you?? I used to do a Herts to Portsmouth train journey several times a month - an 8 hour round trip - and you cannot book seats on there as the seats do not have numbers. So how does that work?? You might be on a long journey but she might be on a short trip to the next town to go for her ante-natal appointment or something. I usually get to the station and buy a ticket when I travel. Even when I was a commuter I had a ticket but you could not 'book a seat', you got on and chanced your luck. And on many trains you do not have seat numbers, only on long distance travelling trains - not local trains, they have no seat numbers.

I must add that MOST train guards will let pregnant ladies sit in 1st class (unless they are a jumped up jobsworth!!). I used to sit in 1st class on my standard class ticket if the train was full and the guards were happy for me to do this. I never once got asked to move by them. So I would tell her to go and sit in 1st class being pregnant and that it would be more comfortable. Failing this I would offer her my seat.

I've commuted while being heavily pregnant and the worst offenders for hiding behind their paper when they see you standing are men. Women would give up their seats but men would quite happily elbow you out for the way for the last seat and then get their paper out to hide behind. I had this happen many a time so I would spend the entire journey on my feet and staring at them to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible. :rotfl: I wonder how many of those refusing to give up their seats are male. A poll on this would be very interesting!! I bet there will be no surprises though. :rolleyes:

uropachild

As someone mentioned, there are many reasons why it is better for a pregnant woman to sit, rather than stand. Just like people may not know why someone who is invisibly disabled cannot give up their seat, people may not also know the reasons why a pregnant woman should be sitting on a train instead of standing.

Aside from all the rubbish about whether she should have booked for herself or not and whether she couldn't sit in her booked seat because of someone else getting there first and all of that stuff, consider...

Being pregnant and standing for 5 hours isn't just about the weight you have to carry, although that weight can be considerable. A pregnant woman could have any number of pregnancy complications, which might make it risky for her to stand. Okay, so knowing this, she could have made sure that she didn't HAVE to stand for 5 hours, but things don't always work out that way and my point is that you don't know the situation. So aside from the risk of being pushed over, elbowed, shunted belly first into someones chair, collapsing from the heat (you're WAY hotter than usual when pregnant). She could be suffering with sciatica or other backache, a headache that she isn't allowed to take decent pain meds for, stomach cramps, round ligament pains. She might have a circlage in for an incompetent cervix, which would come under pressure when standing for a length of time. She might have had a previous c-section and the scarring could be hurting with the pressure and weight. Even if none of the above ailments are true she will certainly be worrying every time the train moves... "What if my waters break all over the floor? What if the train jogs me and i fall and kill my baby? What if someone is in a hurry and they push past me and hurt my baby?"

Pregnancy is about more than just having a big belly. No, it is certainly not USUALLY an illness, but then not everyone is lucky enough to have a low risk pregnancy.

My knowledge of this comes from being pregnant pretty much constantly for the past 3 years. My first pregnancy ended in the neo natal death of our son because of undiagnosed Vasa Praevia, the second resulted in the stillbirth of our daughter at 25 weeks of pregnancy and the third (after MUCH fretting, worry, pain and discomfort) resulted in the arrival of our healthy daughter. High risk pregnancy is not a walk in the park, physically or mentally.

flippingheckerslike

you can afford it, you just don't want to.

montymontezuma

Yes, I would like my seat back if she got off before me but otherwise her need is probably greater, ditto elderly, those with disabilities & mothers with babies or very small children, so I'd make way. This is the way I brought up, and it makes for a better, more caring world IMHO It's not always possible to book ahead, some journeys are unexpected, and living in the real word we're not all organised and perfect - the reality is, whatever the reason, she's still heavily pregnant and in need of taking the weight off.

blue_monkey_2

Also, when heavily pregnant, I got on the train and there was no seats and no-one would give up there seat so another lady (who was also standing) looked at me, waited a few minutes, and shouted to the entire carriage - 'What is wrong with you all? Is no-one going to give up their seat for this heavily pregnant woman'. LOL, you should have seen them all squirm but someone gave up their seat in the end.

Doooford

Without question I would. The idea that somebody would actually take the time to judge somebody who hadn't pre-booked, and then sit there thinking of justifications for keeping their seat makes me feel quite sad about the state of our race. Pregnancy is something that should be appreciated by everyone and supported wherever possible.
I would talk to the person in question and ask if they minded if I gave up my seat for them, and then hopefully spend the rest of my journey in conversation and then leave the train feeling like I may have made a difference. The other option is to sit there with your head down in a book and then get of the other end and moan about how people shouldn't be so rude as to stand near you when they are pregnant because it makes you feel selfish that you aren't giving your seat up. To clear this up for you (if this is you), then yes, YOU are being selfish!

gibsonms

I have done exactly this. I gave the lady my seat straight away and went and found the guard.

I then pointed out section 39 of the National Rail Conditions of Carriage, and said that this is clearly an occasion where it is more than correct for the lady to be given the seat in 1st class for nothing.

The guard was impressed that I knew my stuff, and the lady bought me a sandwich! Result!

aless02

I thought that some train companies had policies that if there are no seats in standard class, pregnant women could sit in 1st with no penality? I remember reading about it in the newspaper several months ago.

Anyway, as a pregnant woman (not heavily), I find the selfishness on this thread astounding. I would simply go sit in a 1st if I was not offered a seat, as standing 5 hours would be impossible.

Caroline73_2

Yes, without a doubt.

I believe there is a an old law that means pregnant women can urinate wherever they want. Be nice to them.

If I was the pregnant woman I would start to have twinges - I bet I got a seat then.