Son still at home

lilac_lady

I'd ask him to pay for his board and to add a bit extra on for the food you buy when his girlfriend is staying. Stop making them breakfast and go out for Sunday lunch with your husband leaving them to cater for themselves. If the kitchen is left in a mess, make them clean it up.

There will be disagreements because he's in his comfort zone but it sounds as if you can't even have a comfort zone in your own home.

Your husband must be really fedup with the situation so be strong and start some new rules.

Pee

I think it's time he stood on his own feet and paid his own way, BUT if you are enjoying having him there and it is your OH who wants things to change, you are left with a difficult decision. You are unlikely to enjoy much of his company if he moves somewhere else.

windswept

floss2 wrote: »

I like this idea......and how many 24 year olds would be comfortable with the thought of their parents having marital relations, never mind "catching" them snogging on the sofa one night?! You need to reclaim your home by whatever means however sneaky, and embarrassing him / them will be a great start Or (please discuss this with your OH first!) even scare them by leaving a pregnancy test kit in the bathroom for them to see!

That's funny!
We've just been on holiday and I told dd ( 19) that she and her bf could use our bed while we were away - I forgot that I'd left the massage oils and flavoured lubes out on full display on my bedside table - the only comment we got when we returned was "why have YOU got an Anne summers catalogue?" I just replied, "for the same reason you have probably";). She came in the other week very early from a night out and almost caught us in a very compromising position, all I can say is it's a good job hubby was standing within arms reach of the bedrooom door!

Her bf is 21 and lives at home ( and shares a room with his 24 year old brother) , neither have any intention of leaving home, whilst dd can't wait to leave for UNI in September.

floss2

windswept wrote: »

.....Her bf is 21 and lives at home ( and shares a room with his 24 year old brother) , neither have any intention of leaving home, whilst dd can't wait to leave for UNI in September.

Now I wonder if that has anything to do with you & your OH's "strong relationship".....:rolleyes::p;):D

DKLS

I cannot understand wanting to live at home even with the benefits of cooking and washing, I'd rather stand on my own two feet. I couldn't wait to move out of the family house and did so on my 18th birthday.

Something quite strange about a grown man being at home, Student Phil syndrome I call it.

ClareEmily

My hubby didn't move out of his mum's until he was 30, and then his mum still arrived at our door with piles of ironed clothes of his she kept finding.

I think you should sit down and say that now he is earning that he should contribute to the household bills, show him how much things cost and work out a fair monthly amount.

I don't think 24 is that old to be living at home especially in the current climate.

If you are not careful and you start to push him out he may resent you.

My mum remarried when my sister was in university and when she came home all her stuff had been put in storage, and she was made to feel very unwelcome in the only home she had known all her life, made her very bitter so tread carefully.

silvercar

I wouldn't want to take rent of my kids, I'd rather they saved up for a deposit of their own.

If you read the women's magazines, they say the golden rule is never allow kid's partners to stay overnight in their bedroom.

Pee

If you can afford it, take the rent and save it for him as a deposit.

belfastgirl23

First of all are you really sure you want him to go? I know your husband does but I think you are a bit less clear about it. You need to properly figure out your own feelings before you do anything.

If you do want him to go then why not just sit him down and say what you've said here. You like his girlfriend but there is a certain loss of privacy with having a non-family member in the house so much. Ask him what are his thoughts on this. See what solutions he comes up with. BTW if he decides to dump her you're stuck with him for life

I don't think there's any real point in dropping hints etc to be honest, not with a boy. In my experience men much prefer things to be said straight and they deal with this relatively well, but scheming really upsets them...

ailuro2

1/3 of all bills except the food and the mortgage.

Why should he be living the life of Reilly while you and your OH slog away for less money left to play with than him - surely now your kids are up you deserve to enjoy yourself too?

Give him a food cupboard and shelves in the fridge and freezer like he would have in a houseshare.

Stop cooking him and her Sunday roasts unless you really want to - after all those years bringing up the kids, surely now's the time to be having apub lunch and home for a fumble on the sofa of a Sunday afternoon?:p

Show him this thread - let him know you want to fart as and when you please, and aren't comfortable to them helping themselves to your snacks, and certainly not your BEER.:eek:

He needs to wake up and realise bed's not made of roses, even though it will be a shock to him since you've probably let him be molly coddled a bit too long!