Christening when you don't believe in God??!!

twinklyrach

My theology degree and I are going to go out on a limb and say this:

Having your child baptised when you are not a regular churchgoer is the concern of you, the god you may or may not believe in and the celebrant - and no-one else. Who am I to decide who's hypocritical and who's not? Should someone really have to justify a personal decision such as this to anyone but their priest? I think people could stand to be a lot less judgmental - if you don't agree with them, just don't go to the ceremony.

yalisrib

It may be a case of the parents being worried about the unknown. Although they may not belive in god, they may not have discounted it entirely. I often wonder what would happen if one of the religions was right and I'm facing an eternity of damnation. Perhaps somewhere in the back of their minds they want the security of knowing IF there is a god, the kid would be safe once dead.

plus those christening mugs and photo frames are REALLY cute!

gibboelli

yalisrib wrote: »

It may be a case of the parents being worried about the unknown. Although they may not belive in god, they may not have discounted it entirely. I often wonder what would happen if one of the religions was right and I'm facing an eternity of damnation. Perhaps somewhere in the back of their minds they want the security of knowing IF there is a god, the kid would be safe once dead.

But surely if it's a nice God he/she wont mind if you're in thir certain religion or not, just if you've been a decent person. Well, I'd hope so anyway!

missm29

I haven't read all the posts but i can remember my mum making us go to church we were young so the vicar would sign the passport photos. I did like going to church with my gran, found it interesting and i was christened as a baby.

My children haven't been christened and i won't get married in a church, i do sort of believe in god, but would feel a fake because i know i wouldn't be a regular at church.

I always cringe when people get married in church or want their kids christened, when they have no intention of stepping foot in the church again, think the whole think is just an excuse to have a few drinks afterwards and get some presents.

Amanda65

I think people confuse going to church with having a faith / belief.

I would say that I have faith and it was important to me to be married in church and have my children christened. However I am not a regular churchgoer for many reasons, one being that I find the church congregation is often made up of people for there for their own agenda (and I accept that this is a massive generalisation but it is my experience).

I consider myself to be a believer in God but don't feel I need to attend church every Sunday to affirm that. Many people attend church every week (prisoners for example) and I don't think that makes them better people than me.

I think when people get too precious about 'outsiders' using 'their church' is when the rot sets in and congregations dwindle

Curlywurli

My husband is Catholic, I don't really regard myself as anything to be honest. We've had both our children baptised. I said to my husband that it wasn't important to me to have them baptised but if he felt strongly about it then that's what we would do. I met the Priest and he was very pleased that I was happy for them to join the Catholic faith, he didn't have a problem about my religion or lack of. In order to have the children baptised you had to clearly show a dedication towards the faith and had to attend church for a certain period of time before you could even have an initial discussion.

Mojisola

twinklyrach wrote: »

My theology degree and I are going to go out on a limb and say this:

Having your child baptised when you are not a regular churchgoer is the concern of you, the god you may or may not believe in and the celebrant - and no-one else. Who am I to decide who's hypocritical and who's not? Should someone really have to justify a personal decision such as this to anyone but their priest? I think people could stand to be a lot less judgmental - if you don't agree with them, just don't go to the ceremony.

I haven't been to a christening for years but don't the parents and godparents promise to bring the child up within the church and according to the beliefs of that church?

jellyhead

gibboelli wrote: »

and think it's actually insulting to people who do believing, basically lieing in front of thier God.

Yes, I think that too - it's really rude to insult the church and the congregation.

I don't know if all christenings are the same, or if this one was different because some of the children were older, but my sister went to church for 6 weeks and pretended she was genuinely joining the church. The vicar/priest/whatever it's called talked about the children being baptised later on and seemed to know everything about all of us, she even asked me if I was okay after a recent miscarriage! This vicar truly thought my sister was joining the church!

squirrelchops

In reply to Jellyhead who posed the question that aren't children born as innocents anyway...the answer to this is that some religions would say 'no' to this.

I am currently up to my eyes in child protection reading matter at present and shall try and find the relevent quote regarding this.

Here we go 'Evangelical views, however, such as those propouned by John Wesley, took the opposite position: children are born sinners and need to be disciplined into virtue. parents were urged to break the will of your child' etc this is in Eileen Munro's :Effective Child Protction' 2007 and gives reasoning as to why soem children are overly harshly chastised for example as a social context for child abuse.

Lunar_Eclipse

LouBlue wrote: »

I would be interested in any couples out there who did get married in church or had their baby christened but are not religious/don't go to church. What the reasons were, it intrigues me.

Me too.

My sister is getting married this year and has suddenly decided to do it in Church. She is not religious and has not been Christened (which apparently is fine with the Vicar, contrary to my thinking.) I am livid, but as a Christian myself (albeit one whom did not get married in Church) I am struggling with the anger and what could be viewed as judgmental feelings, since I think it's hypocritical.

I have tried to explain that it is a three way marriage with God and do they really understand what a Church wedding is, which clearly they don't, but along with most people I have since realised, who really do not give it the serious thought it requires.

Their reasoning is that it would feel more like a marriage and they like Church weddings. My non-religious parents can't begin to understand why I am so angry about it. But having had my sister tell me she is Atheist/Agnostic (it changes) in the past, this has shocked me to the core, to say the least. I feel like I don't know her anymore and can't think about the wedding without being filled with angst and fury. I just can't help my feelings, despite wishing her a lovely day and happy marriage. And knowing I should not judge her. It's not good. But strangely I have reached some sort of peace about it posting this and reading this thread; I will bite my tongue from now on. It's her business. I do know that, just struggled with feelings I knew I shouldn't have.