Christening when you don't believe in God??!!

love2shopforbargains

My parents never had me or my siblings christened and they were never churchgoers although my mum did go quite a lot when she was younger.
I do attend my local church (CofS) although not all that regularly. The minister and members of the congregation are all lovely and always very welcoming.
Now, this may seem odd but my reason for starting to attend is that one of my friend's got her daughter christened. The parents imho only did this for the party and presents. The child is now 5 and has never attended church since nor has her parents. The service was lovely and I enjoyed it and started attending every week. Although, I have since had two kids and still attend (maybe 1 week out of 5/6) but have chosen not to have my kids christened. I feel that it is ultimately their choice and whilst I do believe in God, I do not think it would be right for me to force my choice of religion on my kids. They can make their minds up when they are older.

BeenieCat

I'm confused about this whole thing too.

I have a DS who i never got christened as we're not religious and have never been to church. However my now OH has 2 kids from previous relationship and they are christened, despite OH's admission that it was just for the party/presents/for show more than anything.

I'm now pg (first with OH) and he wants it christened - i don't. It's a tricky situation but i don't feel i can back down. I'm don't class myself as an athiest but more agnostic, i'm open minded about religion but i just don't practise any beliefs whatsoever so i do not want a child of mine christened.

It's only been briefly mentioned but i'm worried it could eventually cause a bit of a dispute when the time comes, and as silly as it sounds i worry that he'll see our own child as lesser, purely for the fact his other 2 kids followed "tradition". :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::mad:

abbecer

Lots of my family are hypocryical regarding Christening. Large majority never go to church yet have their children christened. We chose not to have our sons christened and got the wrath of some. I really don't care what they think. When we got married we had a civil ceremony that was beautiful. I support their decisions and would like the same courtesy returned.

abbecer

BeenieCat wrote: »

I'm confused about this whole thing too.

I have a DS who i never got christened as we're not religious and have never been to church. However my now OH has 2 kids from previous relationship and they are christened, despite OH's admission that it was just for the party/presents/for show more than anything.

I'm now pg (first with OH) and he wants it christened - i don't. It's a tricky situation but i don't feel i can back down. I'm don't class myself as an athiest but more agnostic, i'm open minded about religion but i just don't practise any beliefs whatsoever so i do not want a child of mine christened.




It's only been briefly mentioned but i'm worried it could eventually cause a bit of a dispute when the time comes, and as silly as it sounds i worry that he'll see our own child as lesser, purely for the fact his other 2 kids followed "tradition". :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::mad:

If your other half is wanting a 'do' for the baby why not have a baby naming ceremony. You can still have readings for the child saying how special they are etc.

jellyhead

iwanttosave wrote: »

Neither of mine are Christened, I don't believe in God so I'm not going to subscribe my kids to a religion I don't follow. Once they're old enough I'll support them fully if they want to be a Christian, Budist or Jedi if they find it's what they want to follow.

I think too many people do do it for the presents and the knee's up but there are other ways to do that without bringing religion in to it.

As for weddings, I think its just for the pretty church on the photos, although I have come across "cos its not a proper wedding if its not in a Church is it" on some wedding boards.

My husband's grandad complained about our wedding not being in a church, even though he didn't go to church himself. Lots of people think a 'proper' wedding must involve church, but I just couldn't be so deceitful. I'm not christian but I still don't agree with lying.

As a child I chose to go to sunday school with a friend and stayed in that church (the friend drifted out of going, we were only 5) until I was 17. They didn't have christening as such, but there was a service held under a flag. Not being christened as a baby didn't affect anything - I still could have married in that church. I can see how if you are christian getting your child christened is a lovely thing to do, but if you're not christian I just don't see why anyone would want to do it.

BeenieCat

abbecer wrote: »

If your other half is wanting a 'do' for the baby why not have a baby naming ceremony. You can still have readings for the child saying how special they are etc.

I suppose you're right, but i didn't do anything like this for my first so i don't really want this child to have anything different (i know that prob sounds silly).

shellsuit

We didn't have a 'do' or party when the kids got christened, there was only me, the kids, my Dad, Mum and stepdad there.

Afterwards we just went for something to eat then came home.

jellyhead

lab-lover wrote: »

A friend of mine once told me she wanted her child christened because if she didn't it would mean she would 'floating in limbo' in the after-life

Think she meant she would be alone.

I'd always thought that wouldn't happen to a child, but don't quote me on it. My church didn't have limbo, but surely children are innocent in the eyes of god?

SkipE

I was christened and attended sunday school as a child. I do not attend church often now as an adult but I still pray and am a believer. Hubby does not believe in any religion and for this reason we did not get married in a church.

I do however want my children christened and he understands this. I will pray with them at home before bedtime. I dont feel I need to attend a church to qualify as a good Christian.

jellyhead

BeenieCat wrote: »

I suppose you're right, but i didn't do anything like this for my first so i don't really want this child to have anything different (i know that prob sounds silly).

If you go ahead with a christening you could include your older children if you want to.

It's a difficult one - in my dad's family the christenings, even though nobody goes to church, are taken quite seriously and the child is given gifts (silver things, jewellery etc.) and money in the bank on the occasion. If this is how your OH's family do it then I can see how you might feel a bit miffed that your other children aren't given a nest egg etc.