The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 3

nettttie

am back............................

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins ! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

nettttie

another....................

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is SO BAD, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

40somethingmum

Hopeful34 wrote: »

The local butcher is offering 8 legs of venison for £50. Do you think that's too dear?! (Probably works better as a spoken joke!)

.

I just said the above to DH. He replies I don't know ... why do you want to buy venison ? . I said ITS A JOKE ..... "OH." he replied.

40SM

jo1972

Netttie, you've won the joke competition today :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

orchid-96

Love em Nettie :T:T I especially like the chess one!

ok another drinky one...

Scientists for Health Canada have suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men were fed six pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.....

barshamhillbilly

40somethingmum wrote: »

I just said the above to DH. He replies I don't know ... why do you want to buy venison ? . I said ITS A JOKE ..... "OH." he replied.

40SM

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: :rolleyes:

40somethingmum

winebox wrote: »

.

Jo, you think your dreams are bad, I was in bed with Billy Mitchell & he wasn't interested :eek:! (Do you think I have a self-esteem problem?)

QUOTE]

Winebox , you are an absolute tonic ( mmm that sounds wrong somehow... but you know what I mean. I really look forward to reading your posts as you really really make me laugh. You should do stand up .:o

Have a good time tonight and please and please don't cry into your cava as that would make it taste funny and that WOULD be such a waste. Hope you are feeling better.

40SM

nettttie

:T
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.:D


and one of my fav's ....................

And, finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did

40somethingmum

Hopeful34 wrote: »

OMG! Now I have a new problem, I'm addicted to this thread and getting to know you all. ]
]

Yes , we forgot to mention the side effects of being on this thread. :rolleyes: Great though isn't it ? Look forward to getting to know you better:o
:T:T

40SM

40somethingmum

winebox wrote: »

Just popping in to say 'bye 'bye til Monday...off to darkest Bedfordshire soon (Milton Keynes is the only place with more roundabouts than Swindon I reckon), hope you all have the evening you would wish for, AF or otherwise.

x

Have a great time Winebox. We will really miss your jokes:rotfl::rotfl:

40SM