Need help with sex stuff

penguin83

Could it be the fact that you are about to start trying for a baby? I know it sounds weird but after I had my daughter I was suddenly very concious that sex can equal a baby and it put me off a bit (I did know that before! but it was suddenly all I could think about.

x x

kindofagilr

Thanks guys

^^^^you know I had thought of that as well, I wasnt sure if I was sub consiously freaking out about trying for a baby which was in a way putting me off lol I knwo that makes no sense lol

Pee

Think about what time of the month it is for you. There are some points of my cycle where I am really not interested and other times when I'm not much interested in anything else!!! It's probably putting pressure on you, subconciously, thinking that you should be at it like bunnies. Do you have any reservations about trying for a baby? If you have a few fears they could subconsiously affect you and it might just be a matter of thinking about them... for instance, you really want a baby but you have some reservations about the expense.. and thinking through some solutions to your fears so that they stop affecting you.
Shower together is a good idea, or a massage with baby oil?

catherine_h_2

I've been there hunny....is he helping with the housework etc sounds daft I know but for me this was (and still is) the biggest turn on ever:rotfl:

It might just be that you need time to relax and enjoy being together in your new house without worrying someones going to bang on the ceiling at you:rolleyes:
Just make time for each other and try not to think about it, the rest will just happen.

WolfSong2000

Moving house is a very stressful event, plus you've got the added pressure of trying for a baby, etc, and when we're stressed the last thing on our mind's is sex...in fact, being the stubborn person I am, the more someone pushes me toward something, the less inclined I am to do it, so maybe politely ask your boyfriend to "hold off" for a day or two?

Sex isn't the be all or end all, either...why don't you try something sensual instead, like taking a bath together, giving each other a massage, etc? That way there's no pressure for sex, but you can still "reconnect" as it were.

No point in having sex if you're not in the mood, as sex for women is just as much (if not more so) mental than physical, and unless you're in the mood and have (usually) had decent foreplay, your body wont thank you for it

kindofagilr

Yeah I am actually due on next week maybe thats part of it as well, and yes I do have some reservations about having a baby, I mean I guess just the same amount as a normal person? all my life all I have wanted is a family, I have the OH of my dreams now we just need babies lol, so I def want babies its not that I dont but I think sub consiosuly I might be worrying about baby things?

Yes to be honest he is totally all for housework lol he as we speak is in the kitchen making tea!

I have had a word with him, some tears from me (I def think TOTM is coming lol) about how I feel and how I do love him, but I feel like Ive gone a step backwards with regards to sex (as I was getting really confident) and he is totally fine, so I am sure we will work at it lol and get there in the end

Thanks for your replies guys

RAS

When I had to stop for a while, kind of learning not to respond to advances it took a couple of months to relearn that it was OK.

Also you have been stressed and maybe you need to have shower together, enjoy a massage with no further ideas for a bit. Explore what it feels like for it to be OK to walk round the house starkers, just cuddle up somewhere which is not bed with a duvet and a bottle of wine etc.

And yes, the early half of the month equals rampant rabbit and the back end is boredom.

whitewing

Get off the internet, and go and sort him out now! As someone else said, you don't have to be overenthusiastic but a bit of stroking and cuddling and all should be okay. Don't over-analyse (as I always get told, but not about nookie).

skintchick

Get him to give you a massage? I know that if my OH gives me a massage (with us both naked) and after a proper massage then lets his hands start to wander, I feel up for it.

ChrisCobra

Pump away , in the back garden if you have to!