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Need help with sex stuff

:embarasse:embarasse:embarasse:embarasse

Sorry about this but I need advice.

OH and I have just moved into our own home 20 days ago, previously we lived at my mam's and his mam and dads

And we kinda got a complex over sex towards the end as my mam has "ears like a bat" as OH would say lol and could hear the slightest sound of a bed squeak from downstairs (mam actually mentioned it to me one time and said she didnt want to hear that again (I am 27 btw lol))

And his bed made a racket as well (he had one of those double bed loft bed things)

So towards the end of living with parents we kinda stopped having sex

We have had sex once since being in the house, but I wasnt quite feeling up to it? I just knew he was gagging lol

And he has hinted the last couple of days about sex

And I do love him so much, and I have no valid reason for not having sex, apart from I feel as if I have lost "it" somehow? (I am not the most confident person, especially when it comes to my body, although he is constantly telling me he loves me, and that I am sexy and basically lots of nice things)

Sorry if its tmi

But I just wanted advice on how to get my sex drive back?

You know I mean we have just moved out, we should be at it like bunnies lol

Thanks guys
Debt £30,823.48/£44,856.56 ~ 06/02/21 - 31.28% Paid Off
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«1345

Comments

  • naijapower
    naijapower Posts: 1,393 Forumite
    Well, as you been to settle in your new house your drive, interest and desire would begin to increase. Environment counts.
    Shedding some weight if you feel overweight
    Make an effort to dress to thrill your partner etc etc
  • Any
    Any Posts: 7,959 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Are you on contraception?
    That might be also a reason for lower sex drive.
  • kindofagilr
    kindofagilr Posts: 6,825 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    edited 29 April 2009 at 3:44PM
    My partner is not the problem he is already thrilled, I dont have a sex drive at the moment, so I dont need to dress up to thrill him, its me that needs thrilling

    Well give me that magic weight loss pill lol, in all seriousness I am losing weight (see siggie) and that is not the problem either, I def dont feel self conscious about my body in that way
    Debt £30,823.48/£44,856.56 ~ 06/02/21 - 31.28% Paid Off
    Mortgage (01/04/09 - 01/07/39)
    £79,515.99/£104,409.00 (as of 05/02/21) ~ 23.84% Paid Off

    Lloyds (M) - £1196.93/£1296.93 ~ Next - £2653.79/£2700.46 ~ Mobile - £296.70/£323.78
    HSBC (H) -£5079.08/£5281.12 ~ HSBC (M) - £4512.19/£4714.23
    Barclays (H) - £4427.32/£4629.36 ~ Barclays (M) - £4013.78/£4215.82
    Halifax (H) - £4930.04/£5132.12 ~ Halifax (M) - £3708.65/£3911.20

    Asda Savings - £0

    POAMAYC 2021 #87 £1290.07 ~ 2020/£3669.48 ~ 2019/£10,615.18 ~ 2018/£13,912.57 ~ 2017/£10,380.18 ~ 2016/£7454.80

    ~ Emergency Savings: £0

    My Debt Free Diary (Link)
  • kindofagilr
    kindofagilr Posts: 6,825 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    Any wrote: »
    Are you on contraception?
    That might be also a reason for lower sex drive.

    No I have been off it a year now, we are going to start trying for a baby after our hols in July (yeah right I hear you all cry lol, need to have sex first lol)
    Debt £30,823.48/£44,856.56 ~ 06/02/21 - 31.28% Paid Off
    Mortgage (01/04/09 - 01/07/39)
    £79,515.99/£104,409.00 (as of 05/02/21) ~ 23.84% Paid Off

    Lloyds (M) - £1196.93/£1296.93 ~ Next - £2653.79/£2700.46 ~ Mobile - £296.70/£323.78
    HSBC (H) -£5079.08/£5281.12 ~ HSBC (M) - £4512.19/£4714.23
    Barclays (H) - £4427.32/£4629.36 ~ Barclays (M) - £4013.78/£4215.82
    Halifax (H) - £4930.04/£5132.12 ~ Halifax (M) - £3708.65/£3911.20

    Asda Savings - £0

    POAMAYC 2021 #87 £1290.07 ~ 2020/£3669.48 ~ 2019/£10,615.18 ~ 2018/£13,912.57 ~ 2017/£10,380.18 ~ 2016/£7454.80

    ~ Emergency Savings: £0

    My Debt Free Diary (Link)
  • seadee
    seadee Posts: 400 Forumite
    Well now that you are in your own home then you are not restricted by time and place.

    If the mood takes you when you are in the kitchen then go for it!
    You don't just need to have meals on the dining table!

    What about some nice oils, candles and a bath together, and you don't necessarily need to end up having sex afterwards.

    Many a bloke enjoys a helping hand and a cuddle afterwards.
  • naijapower
    naijapower Posts: 1,393 Forumite
    Try Herbal Remedy....Passion Booster also called Goat weed. It is Herbal and not a magic blue pill. It gradually increases your drive after few wks.
    Also been told Garlic is good to go. Only the smell is the issue. But been told that after one week of eating Garlic based food heavily, your desire for a nookie rises to the roof. Infact i heard that on this forum..few months back. Will try and search for the thread.
    Also change your mental attitude. Be positive, free and get your brain thinking about sensual desires
  • kindofagilr
    kindofagilr Posts: 6,825 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    Thanks guys I will try all that :)

    I know once I get it back we will be fine, its just getting it back lol
    Debt £30,823.48/£44,856.56 ~ 06/02/21 - 31.28% Paid Off
    Mortgage (01/04/09 - 01/07/39)
    £79,515.99/£104,409.00 (as of 05/02/21) ~ 23.84% Paid Off

    Lloyds (M) - £1196.93/£1296.93 ~ Next - £2653.79/£2700.46 ~ Mobile - £296.70/£323.78
    HSBC (H) -£5079.08/£5281.12 ~ HSBC (M) - £4512.19/£4714.23
    Barclays (H) - £4427.32/£4629.36 ~ Barclays (M) - £4013.78/£4215.82
    Halifax (H) - £4930.04/£5132.12 ~ Halifax (M) - £3708.65/£3911.20

    Asda Savings - £0

    POAMAYC 2021 #87 £1290.07 ~ 2020/£3669.48 ~ 2019/£10,615.18 ~ 2018/£13,912.57 ~ 2017/£10,380.18 ~ 2016/£7454.80

    ~ Emergency Savings: £0

    My Debt Free Diary (Link)
  • Idiophreak
    Idiophreak Posts: 12,024 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    My partner is not the problem he is already thrilled, I dont have a sex drive at the moment, so I dont need to dress up to thrill him, its me that needs thrilling

    It all goes in circles though, you dress sexy, will make you feel sexier, will have better sex as a result, which will make you want to have more...and so on :)
  • nementai
    nementai Posts: 164 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    I know how you feel.
    I read once that Women are opposite to men - the more we have it the more we want it (though I've been out with some men like that!).
    Can you not 'lay back and think of England' once or twice? You could find 5 mins in you remember what you've been missing.
    Or try taking a shower together etc and see if that lights your spark?
    When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present....we experience heaven on earth. Sarah Ban Breathnach
  • swood016
    swood016 Posts: 12 Forumite
    Get a sex toy i.e vibrating c0ck ring!!!

    Makes it better for you and might get you in the mood! :rotfl:
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