The ultimate incentive worked! Now onto phase two

Birdie85

The McFantasticness is tomorrow night, whoop whoop! I'm going to be a little tired I fear, I'll have been up since 5am- may have to get some Pro-Plus!

Dinah93

No literally, I went in the playground at Castle Eden and NIM judged me. Then he went on the swings too. Then I manage to get stuck on the parallell bars. Oh and before we asked the house I said 'have you got some money', he said yes, we got to the pick your own and he only had a card! Amazingly people in fields don't take switch.

Urgh, I know one afternoon out of the whole year isn't bad, it just felt really bungled and when all you seem to do is save for a house you're never going to afford I guess I kind of latched on to the idea of a bit of a celebration. Even down to he took me to Tesco after the walk to get champagne and had no ID so we were refused (made him buy gu chocolates though, he didn't argue).

He's said he has something planned for after payday, 'I made bookings and everything'.

Tete_en_l'Air

Aw so you still went for your romantic walk though? That would have annoyed me about the money I have to say! And fancy refusing the champagne! What underage person drinks champagne?!

And of course you're going to be able to afford a house, you're still only 24 for goodness sake! And by the time you're 26 (at this rate) you're going to be able to afford the sort of house most 50 year olds would dream of, don't get down hearted And if you're going to spend the wedding fund, spend it on shoes not the overdraft!

ETA - Eh? How does that work? I went on Dooyoo this morning and it said I'd earnt 50,000 miles, but just gone back on and it says 49,955!!

Birdie85

Oh dear, sounds like a pretty bungled anniversary Dinah! It does sound like he's trying to make it up to you though so don't give up on him! And get him told that someone with such a baby face has to keep his ID on him at all times! It really does sound like he had a Typical Man Day yesterday, no brains required!

Birdie85

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

And if you're going to spend the wedding fund, spend it on shoes not the overdraft!

Now there's a good idea!

Dinah93

Lol nah the overdraft would depress me less! Got paid today. All my minimum payments and bills which come out today have gone, I'm £25 overdrawn. Still have to find £290 to pay bills out of that, and that also gives me a £0 spend budget for the month. Can't afford to lend to mum at this rate to be paid back in 2 months, makes me really stressed cos it leaves me short!

poddle911

I agree with very wise words from Cinny, Birdie and Tete! Boys can be the most well-meaning creatures in the world, but they're just boys at the end of the day. My OH doesn't even really know when our anniversary is and even when if we've discussed it beforehand (and I try very hard not to build up any expectations) I can't help being disappointed when there's no mention of it, let alone grand gestures!

Consequently I don't feel like doing anything because I feel stupid. But then again, he makes every single day nice for me and I think that's what you have with NIM. It's very sweet that he's got something planned for next week - I don't think boys understand that a small gesture on the right day (even if it's a cup of tea in bed and a flower picked from the garden) is worth more than dinner (or spending money you'd rather be saving) after pay day.

Try not to stress, Dinah! It will all come good if you keep persevering the way you have been!

Sorry for huge essay! So, how's everyone else?

Dinah93

Oh I kind of let him off when we went to Tesco and he sort of rummaged behind the racks of flowers to produce a bunch of white roses (my favourite). God knows why he went there earlier, hid them, and left, insted of just buying them and coming home, but again, thats men for you.

Birdie85

I don't think you realise how lucky you are Dinah; a lot of us have OH's who don't bother with flowers at all (apart from drunken stolen plants in my case!) and you still got some acknowledgement that it was your anniversary even if it wasn't what you wanted. You've built NIM up to be some sort of King of Romance and he's not, he's a man at the end of the day and allowed some failings. Life isn't all roses and people can't be perfect all the time.
You seem so fed up and I don't really want to have to say this but you'll have to get used to it, the honeymoon period is called that for a reason! It's whether or not you want to stay with the person after that first flush of big romantic gestures and fancy presents and soppy poems (although we've never bothered with those, they make us gag) that proves the relationship. Yeah, my relationship isn't all flowers and champagne and celebrating every little anniversary and can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other-gotta-do-it-now but we do love each other, we make each other laugh, we're matched intellectually, we share similar interests and respect that we have separate interests too and leave one another to pursue them. I know that we'll make a solid, happy, loving family unit when we get older and have children and I'd swap flowers and chocolates for that any time.

Cinny91

Birdie85 wrote: »

(apart from drunken stolen plants in my case!)

Even factoring in your OHs drunk state, I still think that's so cute!!

I have to agree with Birdie though. OH has his 'romantic' moments (like buying me a semi dead discounted bunch of flowers 'I thought you'd like it, I thought discounted flowers would be money saver!') but I know he can't be my Mr Darcy all the time. You need to focus on how close you and NIM are, the kind of things you've overcome to be together. Think of all the other romantic things he's done, like him turning up out of the blue to pick you up from your christmas do!

I can understand you being stressed over your money! I think you should crack into the wedding saver, I'd rather have peace of mind than £350 stashed somewhere for something you can easily save for again when you need it.