Neighbours Complaining! Help!

wannabe_sybil

OP - I sympathise with your position, however, can you sympathise with your neighbours.

Someone who now has ill health and may be in pain (my darling father has a lot of pain since his stroke nearly twenty years ago) has in the first few weeks of you moving in had to listen to you making quite a bit of noise.

Re the rugby match - did they say anything around that? I know there are times when I literally cannot hear the television programme I want to watch, because the neighbours at the back are noisy. If that is the case then someone who has perhaps got restricted mobility and who rather revolves around what is on television my feel more upset than someone who has other things going on in their lives than to wonder if there is going to be noise again.

I can't complain because I want to, at some point, move, but be aware, they can complain to environmental health and loud music at any time can get you into trouble, or loud television, even on a Saturday afternoon. It is not the time it happens, necessarily, but the volume and the effect on the neighbours.

You may be acting entirely reasonably, but if someone is suddenly restricted through ill health, all that they have to concentrate on is the four walls around them - and any noise coming through. I think it is probably a good idea to look for somewhere else.

Please don't think this is having a go at you, it is just an attempt to say that perhaps you and your neighbours are looking at things slightly differently. I hope this helps.

horrorhag

Piggles12345 wrote: »

Because it really messes up people's lives when they have to always be listening out for their neighbour's noise. It puts people on edge and makes them feel that they can't relax in their own home. People who have noisy neighbours often dread going home or dread their neighbours coming home, particularly on the weekends, because they have no idea whether there will be a party, how many people will be at the party, how long the party will go on for and how loud the party will be.

People feel the need to be miserable because having noisy neighbours makes them miserable.

what is it with people singing rubbish songs in the evening?!??! i have a neighbour who does just that, club tropicana to be precise, for 4 hours at a time on repeat. it is EXTREMELY stressful and puts you so much on edge, that like another poster, it badly effects your health.

maddysaver

Piggles12345 wrote: »

Because it really messes up people's lives when they have to always be listening out for their neighbour's noise. It puts people on edge and makes them feel that they can't relax in their own home. People who have noisy neighbours often dread going home or dread their neighbours coming home, particularly on the weekends, because they have no idea whether there will be a party, how many people will be at the party, how long the party will go on for and how loud the party will be.

People feel the need to be miserable because having noisy neighbours makes them miserable.

I quite agree with this. Molly1986 you keep emphasising that you have only 'woken them up' once. But you've invaded their space and life on several occasions in the couple of months you've been there.
I totally agree that the neighbours could well be being over-sensitive but it's possibly through bad experience.
Until you can afford a detached house far enough away not to disturb anyone, it would be polite to think of others a bit more. It's a downside of being unable to afford a detached house I'm afraid. From experience I can tell you that what piggles has said is totally true.
Also - if the gentleman next door is disabled, maybe his wife is up at odd hours helping him and supporting him and perhaps tries to get some sleep at other times... who knows... but I think it would be a nice thing to try and be friendly with them - or at least come to some kind of 'detente' and ignore each other politely....

wannabe_sybil

horrorhag wrote: »

what is it with people singing rubbish songs in the evening?!??! i have a neighbour who does just that, club tropicana to be precise, for 4 hours at a time on repeat. it is EXTREMELY stressful and puts you so much on edge, that like another poster, it badly effects your health.

When the neighbours are really bad (not like the OP) then it really can get to you. At one point my dear heart couldn't bear to be in the house during the day, because that was when it was worst, and the noise during the day got them prosecuted, and at another time we KNEW that there was no point in watching tv on a Friday because the singing started at 11pm, the shouting by 12 and then the fighting by 1am, give or take half an hour - it was truly awful.

As it is I cannot get an early night on a Sunday because the people at the back go somewhere on a Sunday evening and come back in a jolly mood. It is not loud music it is just very loud conversation, and I am seriously considering just sleeping on the sofa on a Sunday, it is just so awful. Especially as I am up early with the little one.

I am not suggesting that the OP is like this.

rednose66

I too have had to put up with intolerant neighbours complaining about noise from a docking station, telly or singing in my flat. All the while I have kept my mouth shut when, three times a week their baby wakes me, the hubby has the home cinema loud or plays his music at an extremely loud level.... Until this weekend when I got woken up - i work nights - to the strains of the hubby practicing on his electric guitar. Bare in mind I am half deaf having worked in a steel mill most of my life and it takes a lot to wake me. I cant have a docking station on at realistic levels but they expect me to be happy with the amount of noise they make. This time it was too much and in a temper I went an hammered on their door. The neighbour was pretty apologetic but it really p*ssed me off. I wouldnt have complained had they also given a bit of leeway. People living in shared space need to realise that it is just that - shared space. Tolerance is needed if you want to live in peace. Just as much as the OP was out of order making a noise at 11:30 and 02:30 so too are the neighbours if there arguments can be listened into by next door.

I feel quite bad for going off at my neighbour and so really should apologise. I just hope that they now also realise how much noise they make.

Rick62

I can't believe some people are critising Molly and Rich, from what they have said they have tried to be reasonable, complaints for: fixing a door, watching rugby in the afternoon, being a bit noisy at 9.30pm - get real.

The neighbours are very unhappy people and the property is not properly constructed. The landlord should not be going round asking the other neighbours about them, that is hardly respecting their right to peacefull enjoyment.

I would go on the offensive, whenever the neighbour complained unreasonably i would tell them they are being unreasonable. I would even give them the number and name of the council noise officer and suggested that they call them!

wannabe_sybil

Rednose66 - I quite agree. I cannot get the neighbours at the back to believe that I can hear all that they are shouting about.

I am now ready to burst into tears - my little boy is stirring from a nap that was long delayed and desperately needed - because a nearby car left music on really loud and kept the door open. There is nothing really to complain about, sometimes stuff just happens, but I am exhausted and so is he.

But that is just life.

natc

Id just like to say that there are a lot of nasty comments about the op here, and unfair judgement! And does it really matter if the op's sister was in the house on her own the day after a party?! Thankfully, i own my house, so dont have the rules b*#*##*s, but surely thats not in the rules is it?!! bloody hell!

Im really glad to see that she has actually taken the time to come on here, and tell ppl her problem and trying to get advice, that doesnt sound so chavvy to me!!! hahaha, omg.

Maybe the op has been noisy on a couple of occassions, but who isnt now and again? And now that shes wrote it on here, she may see that she has made some mistakes, and can learn by that and move on. But why should she move out, just because the neighbours have taken a dislike to them? I would hate to be in her position. Bit of respect from both sides methinks.

phil1873football

rednose66 wrote: »

I too have had to put up with intolerant neighbours complaining about noise from a docking station, telly or singing in my flat. All the while I have kept my mouth shut when, three times a week their baby wakes me, the hubby has the home cinema loud or plays his music at an extremely loud level.... Until this weekend when I got woken up - i work nights - to the strains of the hubby practicing on his electric guitar. Bare in mind I am half deaf having worked in a steel mill most of my life and it takes a lot to wake me. I cant have a docking station on at realistic levels but they expect me to be happy with the amount of noise they make. This time it was too much and in a temper I went an hammered on their door. The neighbour was pretty apologetic but it really p*ssed me off. I wouldnt have complained had they also given a bit of leeway. People living in shared space need to realise that it is just that - shared space. Tolerance is needed if you want to live in peace. Just as much as the OP was out of order making a noise at 11:30 and 02:30 so too are the neighbours if there arguments can be listened into by next door.

I feel quite bad for going off at my neighbour and so really should apologise. I just hope that they now also realise how much noise they make.

Totally agree with the shared space therefore should be more understanding of timies...I dont exclude that there is a certain degree of noise, its the timing and length of time the intolerable noise is carried out.

I mean, surely people should realise that as little noise as possible should be made between say 21.00hrs and say 08.00hrs. Its jst being sympathetic to each others circumstances.

Catblue

Molly1986 wrote: »

Catblue, good advice! Thanks. You are right, I lived at home with parents until I moved in with Rich.

The plan was only to rent for a year to test we can live with each other before getting a mortgage so it seems pointless to pack our bags up and move somewhere else for 9 months!

In other words, I’d rather put up with not being able to have mates round, music on etc for a few months than pack everything away and move house again.

Piggles – can I say we are not partying every weekend! The only time we have woke him was on Sat night and it wasn’t really my fault cos I was in bed. If I had been up I would have made sure the music was down low. It just gets on my nerves that he complains at the slightest hint of noise and I hear him and his wife screaming at each other all the time!

If you want to stay, then you just have to make the best of it (you and your neighbours).

I do think you should apologise to the neighbours for the 2am party and tell them that it won't happen again. Blame your sister and her friends for the noise but tell the neighbour that those people won't be invited back from the pub at that time again, since you know that it is unacceptable at that time of night.

And I know it is hard, but do make the effort to try and think about what noise you are making. If you know that it is going to be a noisy do (watching football, rugby etc.) then can you plan to go to the pub with friends instead of inviting them over to your house?

If you are going to have a barbecue in the summer or something (which is entirely reasonable), then let the neighbours know in advance when it starts and when it will finish and keep to those times. Don't stay outside till past midnight singing the Sugababes again.

Also, chat to the neighours and ask if they are going away at any point over the summer. You could always have a party while they are away.

It really is worth keeping neighbours on your side, honestly. All these skills in neighbourly relations will be very useful to you when you get your own permanent house.