Neighbours Complaining! Help!

Molly1986

Hi,

I hope somebody can help me here, I have to tell the whole story so please bear with me!

Me and my boyfriend are renting a 2 bed semi with very thin walls, we have lived there for 3 months. We also happen to have very miserable neighbours, who are friends with the owner of the house.

When we were moving in, they came out to say hello and one of the first things they said to us was that the walls are very thin (in other words warning us not to make noise).

On the first weekend in the house I had 5 friends round for some drinks before we got a taxi into town at 10. At approx 9.30pm we had a bit of a sing song to a Sugarbabes song and ½ way through the song next door banged on the wall. I turned it down straight away and we stopped singing but I thought that’s a bit odd knocking at the first sign of noise when it’s not late at night.

So the following weekend we had a problem with our front door, it wouldn’t shut because the knocker kept getting jammed so my Boyfriend got a hammer to knock it into place. This was about 11.30pm but he had no choice but to do it because we couldn’t leave our front door open all night. Then the lady from next door came round and asked him to stop banging!

On another occasion Rich (my boyf) had some mates round on a Saturday afternoon watching rugby. They weren’t being overly loud it was just usual rugby banter but Mr next door came round again to tell him to shut up! Remember this is 2pm on a Saturday afternoon.

The final straw came this weekend and to be fair we were at fault. Me and Rich had 3 people round after we had been out it was about 2am. I went straight to bed (drunk!) but the others stayed up. My sister was there and she kept turning the music up which woke up next door. (I know this is out of order and it wouldn’t have happened if I stayed up and been in control of people) So the next morning Mr next door comes round again to have a winge and this time I was apologetic. I agree that we shouldn’t make noise during sleeping time but that we should be able to relax and do what we want in the day.

Then Rich and I went to Mcdonalds for brekkie leaving my sister at home. While we were out the Landlord come round (as I said before he and my neighbour are friends so he had obviously been on the phone to him) and started yelling at my sister asking were we where and when we would be back. She said she didn’t know and then heard him knocking on all our neighbours doors and asking them what they think of us and if they think he should chuck us out!!!!

I am absolutely fuming! Does my landlord have a right to ask my neighbours what we are like? I think it makes us look bad when we haven’t done anything wrong except for the one incident I apologised for! He hasn’t asked to hear to our side of the story (cos you can bet Mr Miserable made it sound worse!)

Another thing I should point out is Mr next door has had a stroke and is in a wheelchair, he says he doesn’t get out much because of it (I’m sorry but since when has being disabled meant you cant go out) and I’m sure he thinks we should give him special treatment because of his condition. Well I’m sorry but we’ve got to live too, I could understand if we had thumping music every night of the week!!! I have heard him and his wife having screaming rows through the walls on 2 occasions and when I mentioned that we weren’t the only ones making noise he just ignored me and carried on having a go! I really think that they are so miserable in their lifes they can’t stand anybody else having a life and enjoying themselves.

Rich and I are not bad people. We are both 23 with very good jobs, who know right from wrong. So what are my rights in a situation like this? And what is an acceptable/unacceptable amount of noise to make.

I would really appreciate your opions on this! And thanks for reading!
x

pawpurrs

Oh dear, its a toughie! Noise from neighbours is a nightmare.
I would say being out in the Garden at 2am making noise is a bit much.
Singing karoake at 9.30pm, some people are in bed before that time, so that would annoy me too.
And the door thing again it was late, and could have woken them up, but presumably it only took a minute, its probebley the accumalation of these things, the fact that they may have been woken up on several occasions.
They may have had noisy neighbours in the past and if the walls are that thin, they are sensitive to it?
I would say noise after 9pm should be kept to a minimum if at all possible.

Molly1986

Thanks Pawpurrs! We weren’t out in the Garden at 2am!! I meant we had just got in from being at the pub!

N79

Yes the LL and your neighbour can discuss you and your LL can seek their thoughts on whether to renew your tenancy or not.

Yelling at your sister is not very professional (and not on) but then was your sister a model of civility?

This sounds like a clash of two styles of living and a very poorly built house. Good luck - probably the only way to live with this is to remain polite with the neighbour and act reasonably (which you seem to have done so far).

maninthestreet

Perhaps your neighbours misunderstood your boyfriend when he told them he was banging some knockers with his tool?

00ec25

sadly this sounds like a case of total incompatability and there is little hope, either you and your neighbour learn to live with it and mutually respect (ignore?) each other or you move on. I have a tenant/neighbour position where the neighbour has an axe to grind against people generally folowing diagnosis of a medical condition and I and my tenant now ignore him (as do most of the others in the steet incidentally) yet he used to be very friendly

I think tit for tat displays by "young'uns" (2bfrank) are understandable (and apparently worked in his account) but are neither a mature response nor particularly moral since effectively he bullied 2 old people into silence yet claims the high ground for being "bullied" by them?

In your case it sounds like they are rather intolerant which (without knowing you/them of course) is either due to bad previous experience or, and being sympathetic to their circumstances, feel bitter about their medical condition and so are predisposed towards lashing out in circumstances where others would show a higher tolerance limit

solution, put it down to experience and move on, being in a flat makes it rather impractical to ignore it - you have as much right to ask the rest of the street what your neighbours are like before you move in as the LL does about you now you are in

theartfullodger

Sugarbabes??

I know what I'd think...

Lodger

pinkshoes

Sounds like a complete clash of lifestyles here, so if you've been there 3 months, then they'll probably be giving you an S21 in a few weeks to give you 2 months notice to move out at the end of the 6 month period. Unless, of course, you have a 12 month fixed contract, in which case they can only make you move out if you agree to.

Other than the 2am incident, and perhaps 9.30pm was a little late to be singing, your behaviour sounds normal. Particularly if you can hear them arguing!

perplexed.com

Hi Molly

This is obviously a difficult one as you are so different in age, health, lifestyle etc so it will be hard for your neighbours to empathise with you. They maybe see that you are young, fit and healthy and are envious of that. Often people who have strokes can become clinically depressed or the stroke causes brain damage which changes someone's personality (usually in the direction of becoming more aggressive and intolerant ) so this might also be affecting their reactions. Of course he might always have been like this before (;)but even then it could have made him worse.

I know you probably won't feel like it as they've been unreasonable so far, but it might help if you could offer to help them in some way and get chatting to them a bit. It will likelybe more difficult for them to get out if in a wheelchair as not everywhere has good access ( have you noticed the state of the pavements!). If they realise you are not in any way just trying to make their lives miserable ( which you're clearly not ) then they may be more understanding generally and give you a break.

Good luck

pawpurrs

Good advice from perplaxed, if you want to get booted out or get their backs up follow 2bfranks advice.
If the LL who used to live there, gets on so well with these neighours, Im prety sure they are not bad neighbours, and its best if all possible to try and remain on good terms, its a nightmare once it gets beyond possible concilation.
Why dont you go round with a box of chocs, and sit down with them, apologising for the noise, and say I think we may have got off on the wrong foot, you understand that the walls are thin, you can hear them too, and that you will try and keep the noise down after 9pm, and if theres anything he needs, your more than happy to help.

ILW

The OP sounds a bit chavvy to me.