I just dont know where it all went wrong

RAS

Hi

So I get the bill to pay this £200 off of it, only to find that the bill is a WHOPPING £2273.51!!!

This is the march statement and it says that the balance brought forward from the previous month was £1810!

SO basically he is spending nearly half his income every month on extra stuff, when between you, you barely have anough to cover your living costs and basic debt payments?

RAS

Actually you have cut £3000 off your debt in the last year, so well done.

BillsBillsBills wrote: »

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1022
Partners monthly income after tax....... 880
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1902
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 575
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 120
Electricity............................. 35
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 15
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 55 - can you both cut back on this?
TV Licence.............................. 11
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 36 - needs to go?
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 200 - reasonable but you could cut another £50 if needs be
Clothing................................ 50 - knockers and shoes only for a while.
Petrol/diesel........................... 50
Road tax................................ 25
Car Insurance........................... 10
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 15
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 10
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1257

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 3500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 3500

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Halifax One....................2273......35.61.....19.9
Homebase MBNA..................2138......67.5......14.9 - maximum limit on this?
Abbey Zero.....................2066......46.49.....19.9
Mum............................4500......0.........0
Abbey Loan 2...................1383......89.4......19.9
Abbey Loan 1...................2914......136.6.....14.9 and limit on this?
Car Loan.......................3638......147.2.....12
Intelligent Finance............1767......29.3......19.9
Abbey MBNA.....................2995......75.68.....17.9
Total unsecured debts..........23674.....627.78....-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,902
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,257
Available for debt repayments........... 645
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 627.78
Amount left after debt repayments....... 17.22
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 3,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -23,674
Net Assets.............................. -20,174

Do you really only spend £10 per month going out?

And do you really need a car or could you get rid, reduce your debts and hire a car for the weekend if you are going away?

Lensman_2

That is not true. Although you feel like £26 to £23.7 is no progress you are wrong. It is nearly 10% of your debt and it's in the right direction. Yes, your progress would be twice that without hubby's CC spending.

You must let him know how this is making you feel. And put his contribution up too!

Keep it up BBB - it's a slog sometimes but you will get there.

RAS

BillsBillsBills wrote: »

Because of what he's done previously, we agreed that he wouldnt be involved in paying well anything so all he does is pay £620 from his wages into our debt account, and then I pay it all from there so I can be sure that everything is getting paid.....

What happens to the rest of his money?

BillsBillsBills wrote: »

I take care of basically all of the other bills from my wages....

So really he's got a really easy life of it....
And I just feel like Im totally failing....

You are not a failure. I am beginning to think he may be.

Can you hit the edit button on your original SOA and mark the debts as his, mine and ours?

BillsBillsBills_2

well after he has paid £620 into our debt account he then has £260 left in his account to pay for his personal stuff, so his mobile phone bill, his lunch, everything to do with the car (as I dont drive)....

I think it just feels eve harder because only 2 of the listed debts are actually mine, the rest are his from before we got together.... been married for just over a year and been together for about 15 months, so he came with them, which I knew about....but now it just kinda feels like I need to do better, since its been a year and we've paid off not even £4k! And am paying off £700 a month! Thats just really bad maths!

I've tried talking to him but his opinion on it, is that things are getting what payments they need, and will (eventually) be paid, he doesnt see why I should stress myself to pay extra when we physically cant.....so he just plods along, with everything getting minimums....

I've asked him to sell the car which he's half heartedly attempted on ebay.... but its on finance, which makes it more difficult (?!), and I cant really do anything on that front because I have no idea about cars etc.

Lensman_2

The maths isn't working because hubby is spending on the CC and you are paying the minimum on your cards. If my guess is right you have about £200 a month going on cards just paying interest.

RAS

Hi love.

You need a bit of tough love. He simply does not have the incoem required to pay for luch. He needs to make pack ups and take them in.

Which debts are his ?

I am going to post a couple of links in a mo.

Read danger minimum payments http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cards/minimum-repayments-credit-card and print this off for him to read.

Go to the snowball on www.whatsthecost.com and put in one set of figures for your debt and one for his. I think you will find with his debts that at those Aprs he is looking at paying them off in about 20 years time (not entirely joking).

BillsBillsBills_2

It gives me a headache just thinking about it all!

£10 a month is about right, we dont spend it every month, but might spend extra another month, so this is an average.

I've just shouted at the puppy as well and its so not his fault but I just feel like utter crap, and like giving up!

I try talking to him but it just doesnt go anywhere, and I come up with all these plans and ideas but it just all fails because for every penny I save/cut back, he's spending £'s to make up for it!

I've shown it to him on paper and he just reverts to "everythings getting paid"....
I wish I only had to worry about my own personal debts!

Because he earns less than I do he cant do an equal 50/50 split of household expenses and pay his debts because the maths simply dont add up so I'm covering everything in the house, so he can pay the debts.....and then I find out they're not decreasing because he's still spending, and I feel like I'm not asking for a lot from him, so why is it so damn difficult!???

gettingbetter

hi
another way is that he
hands all wages to you and
if he needs fuel he has to ask
you for the money
if he hasnt got it he cant spend it
or
give him a set amount each week
once its gone its gone
that might make him realise

kas xx

RAS

BillsBillsBills wrote: »

he then has £260 left in his account to pay for his personal stuff, so his mobile phone bill, his lunch, everything to do with the car (as I dont drive)

Petrol/diesel........................... 50
Road tax................................ 25
Car Insurance........................... 10
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 15

So he is paying out about £100 per month for the car and the car loan is £147. That is a massive amount of youre disposabale income for something you do not even NEED.