I just dont know where it all went wrong

BillsBillsBills_2

Hi

I'm gonna launch straight into it because if I dont write it down and get it out of my head, I think I might implode....

I've just found (left on the side) my husbands credit card bill for his Halifax account. Months ago we managed to pay this off completely, I knew it hadnt been cancelled (in case something happened-even though I asked DH to close it), and I had a suspicion he had spent some money on it, but only about £200 as we had to replace some white goods in our house but I had the money coming to pay it straight off so that was fine....

So I get the bill to pay this £200 off of it, only to find that the bill is a WHOPPING £2273.51!!!

AND I JUST DONT KNOW HOW!?
This is the march statement and it says that the balance brought forward from the previous month was £1810!

I dont know if that makes it better or worse, or not a lot of difference!

I'm starting to come to the end of my tether with our debts, we're in quite a lot of debt (considering our age and salaries) and I just feel like we're getting nowhere fast....

Just always feel like its one step forward, two steps back...

We have treat money for ourselves which is (compared to others) quite generous, we both work hard, DH in a job he hates, and I after being made redundant took another job which is fantastic, and really good for me, but does pay £2k less..... however does have other benefits...

I just dont really know what to do anymore...
I feel like a duck, all calm and poised on the surface but under the water my little legs are going 90mph just to keep afloat....

ARGH!

gettingbetter

hi

guess you are gonna have
to ask him where all the money went

take the card away
put it in the freezer
so you can still get to it
if you need to

kas xx

BillsBillsBills_2

Oh I will be, trust me....

I guess I've reached a point where it just feels like it doesnt even matter what the answer is.....

Everything is just being sucked into a big black hole and I cant get on top of things to get anything in order to feel like we're making any progress!

gettingbetter

you will get there
trust me
whats his least favourite meal
tell him that is what
he will be eating till
debt is cleared

kas xx

RAS

I suggest you start with the statement of Affairs, http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html do it together over the weekend.
Then both keep a spending diary - a little note book listing everything that you buy, even the newspaper, coffee and sweeties.

In a month revise the SOA and you have an idea of the problems and areas for movement.

You could post it here if you want feedback on how to pay less for the same or reduce your outgoings.

BillsBillsBills_2

if I did that, he would only walk off down to the takeaway!

Lensman_2

BBB - does he do 'forums'? If so you could get him to join here. Spending time on this board and the Bankruptcy one will help to point out the probable and serious consequences of his way of life.

lesleyvhalifax

chain him to the table

BillsBillsBills_2

OK so I dug out everything I could get my hands on, and filled in an SOA and sat here and cried about our total level of debt..... when we started on our journey we were £26k in debt and that was over a year ago and we've got basically NOWHERE!

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1022 MINE
Partners monthly income after tax....... 880 HIS
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1902
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 575
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 120
Electricity............................. 35
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 15
Telephone (land line)................... 20
Mobile phone............................ 55
TV Licence.............................. 11
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 36
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 50
Road tax................................ 25
Car Insurance........................... 10
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 15
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 10
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1257

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 3500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 3500

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Halifax One....................2273......35.61.....19.9
Homebase MBNA..................2138......67.5......14.9
Abbey Zero.....................2066......46.49.....19.9 MINE
Mum............................4500......0.........0
Abbey Loan 2...................1383......89.4......19.9
Abbey Loan 1...................2914......136.6.....14.9
Car Loan.......................3638......147.2.....12
Intelligent Finance............1767......29.3......19.9 MINE
Abbey MBNA.....................2995......75.68.....17.9 In my name but his debt (was a BT from another card)
Total unsecured debts..........23674.....627.78....-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,902
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,257
Available for debt repayments........... 645
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 627.78
Amount left after debt repayments....... 17.22
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 3,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -23,674
Net Assets.............................. -20,174

BillsBillsBills_2

Lensman wrote: »

BBB - does he do 'forums'? If so you could get him to join here. Spending time on this board and the Bankruptcy one will help to point out the probable and serious consequences of his way of life.

No he's not a massive fan of forums or anything to do with money if I'm honest.
Because of what he's done previously, we agreed that he wouldnt be involved in paying well anything so all he does is pay £620 from his wages into our debt account, and then I pay it all from there so I can be sure that everything is getting paid.
I take care of basically all of the other bills from my wages....

So really he's got a really easy life of it....
And I just feel like Im totally failing....

Schwade

BillsBillsBills, you have made the first step to tackle this head on.

There are lots of people on this forum that will support you!

I don't usually post about these things but just want to say hang in there!

EDIT - I think your OH needs to come to terms with what is happening around you two. Its time for him to grow up and tackle this with you TOGETHER.