Taking my finger off the self-destruct button

bast

Wordsmith I was fascinated by Paddy the really bad driver... did he ever pass his test.... As a non driver and nearly probably as appalling as Paddy I decided in this life I was never going to drive, I took lessons from the age of 17 to 35... I have to admit albeit rather scared for other drivers/passers by, a sneaking admiration for Paddy`s commitment towards learning to drive....:o:)

Wordsmith

Back again and dusted off. Thank you for your messages – I wasn’t ignoring them and I haven’t been sulking all this time. I’ve just been very busy. Very, very busy. The round up:

Animals
All well. Now. Mama cat went missing for six days – presumed lost and gone forever. Then suddenly she popped through the bathroom window. She was very tired, and very hungry – but not starved-for-six days type of hungry. Whatever she was up to, I was very glad to see her back. Even though her temper hasn’t improved any.

Finn got carted off to the vet (€35!). He was coughing a bit and then seemed to get better, then coughed again, but the clincher was he didn’t want his breakfast – this is the cat that wants everybody’s breakfast. So, late for work, extra petrol, vet’s fee (steroids and antibiotics, but no diagnosis) and now he seems fine again. Favoured friend thinks he was just attention-seeking.

Brian seems to have perked up no end from his couple of weeks of being down in the dumps. The tart has been fine – just a gurgly tummy today, but that’s from a dietary indiscretion, so serves her right. I am in the office armed with a big roll of paper towel, just in case.

Work
Busy, busy, busy, and about to get worse. A book landed in my inbox with no warning. Got given warning of a book that then didn’t land in my inbox. Got a big editing job for which I have the files but I haven’t yet started the work. Made mass booklets for lovely boss man, who is getting married tomorrow (I wanted to do them for free, but his girlfriend gave me an envelope with €100 in it – I really wanted to do it for nothing as a gesture – not that the €100 wasn’t most welcome, of course). I am going to be uber busy next week with lovely boss man on his honeymoon, as I have to work in the shop every evening, then lock up and cash up as well as do all the other things on my to-do list. Still, it’s all good to have. But I would just love a day off.

House
Zero to report. Except I got the solicitor’s bill. :eek:

Social life
Zilch. Although I have phoned two old friends, both of whom I was keeping in contact, but haven’t spoken to for some time. That was good, although one of their fathers has been diagnosed with cancer, so I definitely must keep on ringing him. Favoured friend is coming for a visit next week. I won’t be around much, though, so he may just kidnap the hound and they will go off adventuring together.

101 things
I have added to my list and will post it one of these days. I have actually ticked one thing off, but I don’t know if it counts as I haven’t started the count-down yet – I think it does because I did it because it was on the list and wouldn’t have done otherwise. Does that make sense? It does to me. It has been a really worthwhile exercise.

Money

Pluses:

• Lovely boss men at the shop bought me a laptop between them and surprised me with it. I was very embarrassed about this, but also very grateful.
• I have negotiated a new contract on my phone which I fervently hope will reduce my monthly bills. The old re-negotiated contract was supposed to do that, but somehow never did.
• I have paid back my wages overpayment. :mad:

Unpluses:

• I’ve had to spend a bit updating software for the new computer (although I am not losing sight of the fact that I didn’t have to pay for the computer in the first place).
• A tenner got nicked. I am an idiot. When I was locking up one night I put my phone down and forgot to pick it up again – someone had very kindly put it through the letterbox by the next morning, but not before removing my emergency tenner. I think the reason they didn’t take the phone was because it had got rained on and wasn’t actually working. I did manage to get it to work again, but it is not right and so I have to get another one – I don’t want anything flash, so hopefully it won’t cost too much. Unfortunately, I really can’t do without one.
• I am spending far too much on chocolate. IT HAS GOT TO STOP.
• Vet’s bill!
• €50 on wedding present. (Listed as a spend, not a moan.) Is this enough? There was a radio phone-in a couple of weeks ago where people were saying that the average price of a wedding present was €200. I don’t think lovely boss man is going to worry about it, but I feel mean with all he’s done for me. Especially in light of ...

And now my general cowness ...
And it’s all to do with this blessed wedding that is nothing to do with me. Re the present, the three of us in the shop have put in €50 each to get a voucher. But when I asked this morning whether the others had bought anything extra (not wanting to be the only that hasn’t and then looking mean and ungrateful) at first one of the domestic goddesses ignored me, which told me all I needed to know, so (being a cow) I asked again, and she said she had got just something little – a picture frame (which will no doubt also have a picture in it because she is a keen photographer) – because her boyfriend was going to the wedding with her. Later she brought a bag into my office, which had two presents in it, and she wanted to me to hand it to boss man. I said (because I am a cow) I wasn’t comfortable doing this (there are several ways she could hand them to him herself), but she didn’t look pleased and left them here anyway. And I was in the shop when a customer asked whether we were going to be closed tomorrow and domestic goddess’s boyfriend (who is 62) said he didn’t know – of course he bloody knows. Now, this is all trivial – I really should cop on and get over myself, people have rather more to worry about. But it is really raising my blood pressure. Why am I allowing it to matter? Why am I having a tantrum? The worst I can come up with is that I am a shallow, menopausal, middle-aged, jealous cow with not enough of importance in her life. The best I can come up with is that I am a shallow, menopausal, middle-aged, jealous cow with not enough of importance in her life.

I really need to get to work on those lists. And I really need a day off.

And I am going to post more regularly.

Wordsmith

bast wrote: »

Wordsmith I was fascinated by Paddy the really bad driver... did he ever pass his test.... As a non driver and nearly probably as appalling as Paddy I decided in this life I was never going to drive, I took lessons from the age of 17 to 35... I have to admit albeit rather scared for other drivers/passers by, a sneaking admiration for Paddy`s commitment towards learning to drive....:o:)

No, Paddy hasn't passed his driving test. He just drives around with L plates on and has decided not to do any more tests, since the last tester was a bit mean to him. He did manage to back his car into something very solid, so that it bent and the back window popped out - he didn't even notice :eek: until he got home, and then had to drive back to where he'd been to find out what happened. He did this bit of manoeuvring in front of about four people, and I have this image of them standing open-mouthed as he drove off with his window at their feet, and they were probably still standing there open-mouthed when he came back for it! He drove around for about a week without the window. Thank goodness it was an immovable object he backed into and not a person.

RosaBernicia

:rotfl: *with tears of laughter too* oh and I thought my driving test attempts were bad.

I also have no idea about wedding present protocol. Have spent anywhere between £20-35 depending on what they wanted and asked for - though was v to realise had forgotten to send cheque for last one, and can't find polite way of sending belated. However, given that it was international at a total cost of about £400 for flight, hotel, etc, am hoping they really meant turning up would be appreciated. It's a bit embarrassing - I would have a lot more spare cash if it wasn't for debt - however, I don't seem to be any more stingy than my more solvent friends. (Yes, I know these things may not be unconnected so am trying to stop myself making excuses about how spending on other people doesn't count.) Only solution I have come up with so far is buy what you're comfortable with, make it thoughtful if possible, and anyone rude enough to query it didn't deserve it.

Rosa xx

beanielou

If its any consolation I will be going to a wedding next month and I hope to not spend more than £30.
I have to get there and pay for a B & B.

bast

wrote you a message but changed it lol.. Weddings are weird they really bring out the strangest behaviours in people, got to be totally honest... I am not a fan of weddings... I find myself trying to buy the best presents, the most imaginative ones for people.. I always go over the top.. not necessarily with money but unusual things.. The last wedding we went to I went to a paleontologist type shop (sp) looking for cheap fossils ..:) true.. In my defence they were sort of into that sort of thing lol....x

ps... Paddy rocks...

moo2moo

Of all the wedding presents we recieved the one I appreciated most came from a very skint friend who presented us with a pair of purple Doc Marten candles. Its the only gift we recieved that was truly thoughful and still makes me laugh when I see them. The worst of the expensive stuff was a ghastly statue... limited edition which someone forked oput £500 for and which has never left its box. Its just too awful. Thankfully the gifter has never ever visited us which is just as well really because she'd be mortified to find it still in its box.

I did write out a gift list as this was insisted upon by the MIL and her cronies but kept being told by people you can't put that on it... oooh you don't want stuff from there (there being Boots).... why can't you have a proper list from a proper shop..... ummm because I really need an ironing board and I wouldn't fork out £80 on one so I don't see why anyone else should either.... probably explains the array of vases and other such stuff really.

Seaxwyn

OMG this wedding present talk is making me feel sick! I'm going to a wedding next month, it's some friends who I like very much and wish well and I want to give them a gift they will really like. I hadn't reckoned on spending very much though. They are very green, anti-consumer, zero-carbon types as well, which adds further pressure as I have to get them something useful.

Anyway, sorry to hear you are so down about the stupid wedding, Wordsmith. There's nothing wrong with being shallow, jealous, menopausal etc.

Horace

Wordsmith you are not a cow. Ignore the wedding !!!!ers.

Seaxwyn - as your chums are carbon free or something like that, why not get them a tree, they don't cost too much and it will fit their zero carbon lifestyle to a tee especially if it is a self fertile tree like a cherry or a plum.

I hates weddings - I can remember when my cousin got married and I was presented with a list from M&S with each thing itemised on it showing the cost. I hate being told what I should or should not be spending so ignored the list altogether. I hunted around at an antiques fair and found a beautiful Davidson dish that could be used for nibbles, the date mark on it was 5 September 1850 - it cost me £30 (having haggled it down from £70). I thought it rather apt as her marriage date was in September and pretty close to the day that was on the dish. She still uses it today (she got married in 1998) and she said that having a dish for nibbles was something that she had omitted from her wedding list.

When other cousins have married they have either had teatowels (sorry jo) which could be posted or in one case vouchers, my male cousin asked for particular vouchers but as I was doing surveys at the time I managed to get some vouchers that covered the store he wanted them for but they could also be used elsewhere. He and his wife never said thank you:mad:

poorbutrich

Wordsmith wrote: »

Pluses:

• Lovely boss men at the shop bought me a laptop between them and surprised me with it. I was very embarrassed about this, but also very grateful.

Wow! That is so generous - you're obviously very much appreciated!

I have always spent about £100 on people's wedding presents. I noticed at our recent wedding that the average present from my husband's side was between £5 and £10 (which didn't cover the cost of starters :rotfl:) and those I'd invited was £100.


I didn't mean to work this out - it just became immediately apparent! :rotfl:

I think 50E is about right for a wedding but having got married myself recently, what made me a million times more happy than receiving presents was seeing people turn up looking happy, have a good time, mingle, take the time to chat to my new DH and I and then thank us for having them!

Not those who moaned that they didn't like chicken, looked miserable, didn't speak to me, let their child scream through our vows and then said there was too much Irish music on the dancefloor!

I think it's me, not you, who is the "shallow, menopausal, middle-aged, jealous cow with not enough of importance in her life" :rotfl: