Taking my finger off the self-destruct button

Horace

Our lives get busier - very often I feel as though I am standing on the periphery of things and then remember that making contact is a two way street. I had a good friend all through college and for a few years afterwards then after a holiday I decided that instead of me phoning her would wait and see what happened and from that day to this we have had no contact whatsoever. I have other friends that I don't see very often but we keep in touch via email and facebook and yet there are others who make no effort at all and I don't see why it should be me making contact all the time. So don't feel bad about a fast changing world.

savingwannabe

Wordsmith i have been crying for days (about different things) eat cake petal. We all love you ok. Life is not always fun unfortunately but you have a place here and we think you are great.

I am sure you know Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

(taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desiderata)

Wordsmith

Thanks so much, SW. I do know the poem, but I haven't read it for years. I seem to remember having it on a poster in my bedroom when I was a teenager, although I couldn't remember any of the words (quite possibly it had a pretty background and I never actually read it!). It does make you think, doesn't it? I hope you are feeling better. Take care.

savingwannabe

I am, we know the nicest kindest people on MSE we can do anything if we put our minds to it. Big hugs, kitXXXXXX

bast

Hello i have read your diary for a while like I have read so many so coming out of lurking mode or stalking god that makes me sound crazy :) Like you I love animals and absolutely sad over my two boys... two british short haired cats... they treat me with disdain and disgust.. the mad cat woman blows raspberries on their belly .. but on the plus side they get fed wonderfully and they get to catch voles, mices, rats and bring them to a disgusted mum, rather than being stuck in the miserable small garden they had, unable to go out because of the boy racers.. ie middle aged fat idiots driving expensive cars at a fast pace around an estate:mad: They killed one of my cats and didnt bother to stop even though he had a name tag.. But the boys brought me a vole and as i was having a pee the other night turned the light on, sat down, and this vole is toes up dead... you learn not to freak:D And in my defence I have saved many from them, running up the towpath like a mad woman shouting "drop" like they get that

Lula-Hula

Thank you for posting that SW,

Wordsmith - it's perfectly fine & human to feel a bit sad and lonely at times; to reflect on times past & the changes that occur during our life, the people we have known & loved & to feel as though everyone else has purpose & meaning.

I'm raising a glass to your honesty & hope you recognise how much your presence here is appreciated & valued. It often strikes me as bizarre how the majority of my social life is now conducted over the 'net. I certainly have a far wider social spread here than in real life !

xx

RosaBernicia

Hi Wordsmith

Raising bar of chocolate in your and Lula's direction (local alternative to alcohol). It is brave of you to say but also just human - and I also very much appreciate you being here. It is amazing how much input and laughter and real feeling can be found online.

Just a thought, and I notice this because I do it myself - just because you have moved and are on the periphery of day to day contact, doesn't mean you aren't thought of, or missed, or that they wouldn't like to hear from you and be a part of your new life. I have been very shy of keeping up with people in the past, but am going to be brave now since one little Facebook Christmas message 'just in case' brought two lovely long-ago friends back into my life. I hadn't realised how much I missed them, and as one is now housebound and has to do a lot of her communication online it has been a blessing for her to have another friend back too.

Rosa xx

lionheartedgirl

Wordsmith I am glad you are around too you always post such thoughtful things on my diary and your advice is always spot on

I was looking at greyhounds again yesterday :cool:

I love reading the above poem but it's funny because every time I see the words I just want to shout "always...wear.....sunscreen" as well!! (google Wear Sunscreen if you don't get the reference!)

hope you feel brighter soon it's a funny time of year, lots of people away on holiday and with the recent chilly/soggy snap here, there is a hint of the end of the summer (even though I know we have ages to go and I love the winter anyway!)

I am resorting to forcing myself to cook nice tasty nutritious food and that is helping

hope Finn is behaving himself. My mum's greyhound (well, kind of mine too as I rescued her from impending flattening in the middle of the road!) has cultivated a cupcake addiction - she ate 3 at a party a couple of weeks ago, paper cases and all. The only signs were 3 coloured splodges on the carpet where the icing had hit the floor, and a few sugar sprinkles which had rolled off.

She moved on to a whole bag of dog biscuits yesterday - although at least she shared these with the whippet. Needless to say, everything is working it's way out today and mum is running out of poo bags :eek: it's the thin end of the wedge, she'll be on street corners next to fund her addiction (the greyhound that is, not my mum :rotfl: although since she discovered Percy Pigs are now vegetarian, mum might get desperate too!)

Don't forget, manageable chunks

chevalier

Wordsmith wrote: »

I phoned my friend in the UK last night. One of the ones I am constantly thinking of but rarely contact and feel really bad about not doing so. It was his birthday yesterday, so I forced myself to phone him. It was lovely talking to him, but I found myself getting quite tearful (hopefully he didn't notice) and when I hung up I felt desperately lonely. because I have moved away. But I think that's why I find it so difficult to phone people - because I've moved away and so the relationships I have with them inevitably have changed and I feel on the periphery of their lives. I do know how pathetic this sounds, and so hopefully now that I have (five years later) realised a cause, I can find a solution.
I totally get where you are with this. This is how I feel alot of the time at the moment. Very peripheral to everything. I don't know how to make me the centre of my life...

The animals are all good. Mama cat graced us with her presence and slept on my bed last night. She took a swipe at Finn and he gave her a wide berth after that. I must take a leaf out of her book.

Love mama cat, she is such a character. My OH just sees animals whereas I see pets with characters. Such a loss for him.

Hugs to you. Hope things looked up after the pudding.
chev

DDpimp

Hay you, just popping by to say"we can never say things will get better, but for sure we can say things will change" This has helped me alot to keep in mind at times.Dont over think to much it can be a downfall as well as a good tool.Any ways hope things change soon .