Burlesque Babe's Re-building life but back in debt diary

Burlesque_Babe

impending doom? For me - or for you??

Definitely too many balls

Not really read much about an Edinburgh meet - I could get there from (I think) Southampton. I don't think the Bournemouth flight runs any more.

Iguess if there is weybiza early august, Bristol mid September, we need everyone to have time to save........I'd either say early December........or some time in January.......

beanielou

Impending doom for me not you.
December sounds ok.
Thanks for your thoughts on Edinburgh.

Burlesque_Babe

ooooooooh, what's on your mind?

I'm definitely up for Edinburgh. Now I know I can get there from Bournemouth, it's a short hop up and across the border

beanielou

Nothing on my mind as such.
JUst a wee feeling.

Burlesque_Babe

well, don't think you can't talk about it xxx

sammy115

BB - following yestedays conversation in Daily Chat I have decided me an you suffer from OCPD....obsessive compulsive personality disorder......

Definition here

sammy115

Obviously a mild version (but actually reading about it a lot of it rings true with my Oh!)

Burlesque_Babe

oh, I agree Sammy. I never, ever used to be like that - the utter control over my life and everything having to happen when I know it will/decide it will etc It is one of the hangovers from the Cruella carp. It started from me panicking about what time I'd go to work - I've always been on time and had a thing about lateness but I started getting panicky if the clock said any later than 8.00am - even 8.01am I'd start saying I had to go because I would be late.

I think because my life 'closed down' so much I only allowed certain 'necessary' things to happen - go to work (set time), leave work (set time), buy shopping (probably the same, from the same place, have it delivered) and not much else.

Now anything (such as this office move) out of the basics of my daily routine really rattle me and unnerve me. It's so sad, I want to be able to be impulsive again or not feel panicky when I get any kind of unexpected invitation etc.

My OH has similar traits and I laugh about it - he washes his hands a lot, won't ever throw out worn out things, won't leave a piece of work alone even though it's finished, spends ages trying to get a mark off something.

Right.........better go to work......it says 8.41am and whilst I don't have to be at work until 9 and it takes exactly 3 minutes to drive there, I'm now starting to feel a bit twitchy. :rolleyes:

InkyCats20

Are you ok BB ? Saw on todays daily chat a post where you said you'd had a little cry at work - dodgy hugs :grouphug: hun

Burlesque_Babe

cheers Inky.........I was a bit sad, I had it really brought home to me because of something as trivial as an office move how far I've fallen career wise

However, I've gritted my teeth and re-grouped.

The car cost £155.80 for the MOT including the test, so 80p over what I'd quickly calculated it to be I was dreading a load of labour being added and it being £200+ but there wasn't.

My bank account is a bit of a minefield at the moment with all the money i've moved in and then spent on the car but I'm just keeping calm and will sort as much as it can be it when I get the interest on my bond at the end of July/beginning of August.

Still doing daily scratchcards with the mind blowing 10 pences being added each day - although I got 20p the other day.....yayyyyyyyy :rolleyes:

The thoughts and goings on at work made me have a re-evaluation of my working life and I've put in for the 18.5 hour job going that would take me up to full time. It's the job I don't have the experience of (it says it needs an NVQ assessor/Internal verifier) but the recruiting manager sits next to me and he said yesterday that it was helpful but not completely essential. So I've put my CV in. There won't be many applicants as it's just in our department but if a tutor who is also an assessor fancies it, they would probably get in over me.

If I got that, I'd then be on 18k, still not quite enough to live on and start over paying on the debt, but it would be a huge leap forward and it would be enough to cover the bills. Teaching money would cover food and AQA would be food back up money in the holidays and debt busting money.

The next plan (if that goes as hoped!) is to go for another 18.5k job which is just about to be advertised in my department and then drop the admin job I currently do. I'd then be on 21k, so my salary would cover bills/petrol/food and teaching and AQA would be debt busting money.

Or money for a social life perhaps..........whatever one of those is