Burlesque Babe's Re-building life but back in debt diary

jinky67

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

actually, he's 50 :eek: and 1/2 :eek:


no, not harsh at all.

I just needed to let it out, it's not all about money, it's about being a couple, a team, a partnership. I explained all this and he said that my idea of a couple was 'messed up in my head'.......I said so 'normal' couples spend EVERY weekend apart and have done for the whole of their relationship? And 'normal' is turning up when 1 half feels like it, eating, falling asleep, getting sh1tty when I try to ask him to come to bed, getting up, showering, leaving........and then repeated ad nauseum 7 days a week? And doing NOTHING together?? I don't want to be living in each other's pockets, doing the hand holding down the street, lovely dovey joined at the hip malarkey, but I would just like - for once - to, say, go out on a Sunday afternoon for a drive, perhaps go to a country house, lunch at a pub? Just - for me - what 'normal ' couples do?? I can't see how this is a 'messed up' idea of what other people do........

Anyway, I've laid it on the line. When he said that his sport was important and he always chose it over doing anything with me because he can only afford one (like a walk in a wood costs anything), then I said he needs to think hard about the priorities in his life because if sport is more important than me -and always will be - then he might as well be single.

I would never ask him - or any man - to give up their hobbies etc, but I do want to be high enough up the pecking order to be given consideration as to what they are going to be doing from day to day.

Well done for saying hun, but you should actually have gone further. YOU need to think about what YOU want rather than him deciding what is important. YOU need to stop shoving your own thoughts and feelings away, and speak up, and tell him what it is YOU want.

And spending time together is perfectly normal...he is just being a !!!!!!:rolleyes:

Burlesque_Babe

I did tell him actually that he has manipulated the relationship to being about what he wants, when he wants it and when he wants to be there........I do believe he sees his 'role' as almost some kind of consultant.....tell me what I should be doing and then just let me get on with it - it absolves him of any responsibility......

jinky67

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

I did tell him actually that he has manipulated the relationship to being about what he wants, when he wants it and when he wants to be there........I do believe he sees his 'role' as almost some kind of consultant.....tell me what I should be doing and then just let me get on with it - it absolves him of any responsibility......

Exactly, but that is NOT what a relationship should be about. Not for anyone.
Maybe you should do the same for him. Tell him when dinner is, tell him what will be on TV, tell him to arrange his own transport to the pub etc, tell him where he is going wrong in life:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Burlesque_Babe

jinky67 wrote: »

tell him where he is going wrong in life:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

have to say, I did take on his style of 'communication' and I did 'tell' him where it's going wrong......:o I was calm though (ok, in floods of tears, but not shouting or being irrational) so I really hope he got the message.....

Carp, this last minute teaching is going to turn my week upside down getting the intial stuff together. It will be good in my end of June pay packet, but the planning etc will eat up a bit of AQA time......:rolleyes:

jinky67

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

have to say, I did take on his style of 'communication' and I did 'tell' him where it's going wrong......:o I was calm though (ok, in floods of tears, but not shouting or being irrational) so I really hope he got the message.....

Good for you, but:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:at the same time.....i did the whole tears thing as well :rolleyes::D

Do you think it will make a difference though?

Burlesque_Babe

it probably won't make a difference jinky.........been there before..........might give him a slight guilt pang though and he'll turn up and do something unprompted like cut the lawns.......(they need doing and he will see it as his way of saying sorry :rolleyes:)

jinky67

yeah men saying sorry....does it ever happen? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

LouiseJ

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

have to say, I did take on his style of 'communication' and I did 'tell' him where it's going wrong......:o I was calm though (ok, in floods of tears, but not shouting or being irrational) so I really hope he got the message.....

Carp, this last minute teaching is going to turn my week upside down getting the intial stuff together. It will be good in my end of June pay packet, but the planning etc will eat up a bit of AQA time......:rolleyes:

BB, what type of IT is it? I have taught basic Word, PPT, excel for 10 years...............

I may just have some stuff you could cadge:D

Burlesque_Babe

it is really basic stuff - right down to using a mouse etc in session 1......any handouts you may have.........I would happily trade for Jaffa Cakes :cool:

right, gotta go back to work for this meeting and training session.......it earns me £20 though so it makes up for no AQA today.

LouiseJ

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

it is really basic stuff - right down to using a mouse etc in session 1......any handouts you may have.........I would happily trade for Jaffa Cakes :cool:

right, gotta go back to work for this meeting and training session.......it earns me £20 though so it makes up for no AQA today.

I will have a look and see what I can dig up for you. But I am sure I will have something that will cut down on your planning time.