Burlesque Babe's Re-building life but back in debt diary

Burlesque_Babe

I bought 2 of them, a large fruit cider I'd not tried before and a mega strong herefordshire cider

scaredy_cat

well done BB. I am amazed at your courage. I know how you feel - i've got a bit stashed away cos i'm scared of being made redundant again and not being able to pay the mortgage!

I wish i was as brave....

ZTD

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

CC Sony - balance 3907.37.

Paid in full.

Overdraft - 1700 - enough left in there to clear in full. Request put in to decrease it to 1000. I will look to decrease that again at some point, but I can't face it being less than 1000 at the moment.

Amount moved from current account after bills calculated - 200.

Savings left £1,700.

Debt free.

I feel sick, sad and empty.

:grouphug:

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

It's going to be a long, lonely night in my head not being able to share this with OH.

Which is a disgrace.

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

It was all or nothing jinks, I couldn't have any hanging over me if I was going to do it.

Today should be a :j day, but it isn't. It's a harsh lesson that you just can't keep your eye off the ball, you have to work harder than you ever imagine and the only person who will look after you is yourself.

beanielou wrote: »

Yep, have to agree that thew only person who will look after you is you.

But it should never be that way. There are people out there who will look after you. I'm not saying they will carry you when you wish to give up, but will watch for you, listen to you, and will pick you up and dust you down when you fall.

Nothing miraculous, but just the "partnership" part of partner.

beanielou wrote: »

Its a lonely place to be sad to say.

:grouphug:

beanielou wrote: »

But looking on the brightr side its done & you are debt free.
I sometimes genuinely think I will never be totally debt free & thats the way it is & thats it.

You will be Beanie - just have faith in yourself. It is long and hard, but you can make it happen.

Burlesque_Babe

knew it would be a rollercoaster. I'm now trying not to cry.

ZTD

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

knew it would be a rollercoaster. I'm now trying not to cry.

:grouphug:
:grouphug:
:grouphug:
:grouphug:
:grouphug:

Things will get better.

Burlesque_Babe

this is supposed to be 'better'.

I'll be ok tomorrow, just need to feel frustrated and annoyed a bit.

ZTD

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

this is supposed to be 'better'.

I'll be ok tomorrow, just need to feel frustrated and annoyed a bit.

Better is a journey, not a destination.

Loved up with a porsche and a 18 year old is a destination...

Burlesque_Babe

ZTD wrote: »

Loved up with a porsche and a 18 year old is a destination...

pppftttttt........OH has already done that before he met me (well, the bimbo when he was 30 and the Porsche just after I met him when he was 45) so I can't see the 'loved up' bit ever coming my way with him :rolleyes:

Wol2

Me too (feel like crying) having just read the last page....Hollow victories comes to mind ..:grouphug::grouphug:

BB....You have done a very courageous thing...:T..and many people will/are admiring you for that...:T...you have done what feels best for you and perhaps, for a brief moment...it felt right :j...BUT....

if the follow-up emotional support/responses in ourselves and from others was/are lacking..(not here on DFW I hasten to add )....some of us (:whistle::whistle:) are all too good at finding reasons to then whip ourselves for our decisions (yep, done that)....

BB....you have done what is right for you......you feel the way you feel.......so what if there's no fireworks, no happy smilies......you feel how you feel. There's n 'owt wrong with that ..and there's no better place to share this than here......with some lovely understaning people who care about YOU.....

(I remember how I felt when I moved back into my house...complete anticlimax yet it had been the only focus for the whole of the previous year.....and it was "supposed" to be "the end to feeling carp and being able to move on with my life"
Hummmph....;))

Keep talking Hun......I can assure you it WILL get better......

Hugs .....and enjoy the cider
Much love
Wol2
xx

ZTD

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

pppftttttt........OH has already done that before he met me (well, the bimbo when he was 30 and the Porsche just after I met him when he was 45) so I can't see the 'loved up' bit ever coming my way with him :rolleyes:

The loved up is a two way thing. No one will ever be loved up with him. Well...he loves himself up - but that doesn't really count.