My Journey

bevan840

Thank you SH, some very good words there Will keep them in mind when I see the downward spiral coming The beating over the head still continue's unfortunately but will try not to, that's also what scares me, if he found it so easy to do it once (although there are rumours about someone else the year before) who's saying he won't do it again found texts on his phone from a few weeks ago when he was away telling someone he was in the bar as his GF was in!!! :eek: He's explained that one too me as I asked him about it and I know his explaination is true, but it doesn't stop me freaking out that it's going on again.

The friends thing is very difficult for me also, I find it very difficult to make friends I don't trust easily (hence why I have problems with DH still) which means I keep friends at arms length and never let them in, normally by the time I need a friend they don't want to know as they have always been kept so far. In my 24 years I have one Best friend, but having a few problems with her at the moment too as she has serious memory problems and won't see anyone to sort it, her OH is treating her like sh*t, she knows it and seems to want to do something but then doesn't, I know it's difficult when you love someone so much. Her OH is a schizophrenic (sp?) and she's worried more about how the split would affect him than doing what's right for her. The memory things, well, everytime she rings, she's asking what my X is up to, if his GF has had the baby. His XGF had the baby 2 yrs ago!!! And he is no longer with her but is engaged to someone else, which I told her at the time and multiple times since, but still forgets So don't really talk to her much about personal things at the moment, need to make new friends But then when I think about it, I'm only up here for a few years so will have to leave friends behind when I move back home Ah life's so much fun!! lol

Will have a look around for some free/fun groups and see if I can join *scary*

savingholmes

Hi Bevan - I find it hard to make friends too

I found friends thro church and the kids friends parents!!! I'm hoping I might get some more by doing some classes....

Jo_R_2

I've met friends in various places. Some through going to gigs, some through friends or my sis, some are 'mummy' friends and so on. Having something in common usually works, eg a shared hobby, club or group. My Home Start visitor goes to a book group (reading group?) and knows people there.

Sorry about the OH situation - that sounds like a difficult thing to deal with. There was a post on the Families board about someone who was in a similar situation and their DH sounds the same as yours - doesn't want to talk about it but wants to move on, might be worth a read, it's titled something like 'Why do I keep thinking about a past affair?'

Hope you're okay x

bevan840

Well, not much new to report at the moment, yet again given up with the flying as body still isn't liking much beginning to drive me a little insane, wouldn't mind so much if my computer worked properly as I could sit and rest playing on it but it's sooo slow it tends to stress me out by trying to use it! Really want a new one but don't want to increase the debt on CC's, will have to put up with it for now.

Have emailed my CV to a job I found on the Jobcentre website, Accounts !!!, experience would be good but not essential thank fully as I have no experience. I tried to do a distance learning course (the last payment comes out on Sat for this ) on book keeping but didn't get the support/help I needed, I changed course and still haven't done it!! :mad: Waste of money really which is a shame as I was really into it, I just got stuck and every time they tried to explain it it still made no sense and one person even said she didn't know the answer!!! Why she was the helpline when she didn't know what she was talking about I got no idea!

I will definitely have a look for that thread Jo, I know he just wants to forget it and I suppose if it was the other way round so would I, I just cant help it some days and get very hurt/upset etc over it

Woke up to a shock this morning, was half asleep when alarm came on as usual to wake me up and the news came on, never really listen to it as I normally doze through it but they came on to say this morning that Patrick Swayze had died during the night Was out of bed after I heard that, he was such a brilliant actor, loved all the films I've seen him in and was very upset to hear he'd lost his battle unfortunately. I feel so sorry for his family and friends who all must of loved him very much. It just makes you think really, he was only 57, too young to die and makes me afraid of losing my family, Dad is 64 and Mum is now 50 and I love them both to bits!! Will be lost without them so planning on sending them nice big card/letter to let them know how much I love them both, once they get home from they're 2 week holiday of course :rotfl: Be a nice thing to come home to I hope

Finances still looking good, thinking of starting a Pay a Day thing, will start with a penny a day and transfer the money into a seperate account every Sunday, a penny a day for a year will probably be more than the interest I'm likely to get on it staying in the bank! :rotfl: Although I don't actually know what interest looks like on my bank account as there has always been the bank charges for the overdraft! :rotfl: Should have a look at my statements really as can't remember getting any interest on the Joint account although we've only been using it the last month so that might be why.

Hope everyone is ok
Sal xxx

savingholmes

Hi Sal - I didn't know Patrick had died - what a shock! I didn't even know he was ill. Makes you wonder doesn't it. It just shows that money doesn't buy you health and happiness!

bevan840

He's had stage 4 pancreatic cancer for the last 20 months, he did seem to be fighting it really well, even filmed 'The Beast' I think it was on C5, with it. He refused painkillers as he was worried they would affect his acting.

savingholmes

wow - he's done amazing then hasn't he!

bevan840

Definitely

Jo_R_2

You could have a "saving up for a new computer" pot!

Good luck with applying for the job, will only know if you try eh?

bevan840

Hello

Still not having a very good week ME/CFS wise, right leg is rather painful and right arm and hand are starting to ache Thankfully boss has given me the day off tomorrow so me and DH can celebrate our wedding anniversary (it was last week) together finally Thanks to this weeks MSE newsletter we are going to the cinema to see Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs, DH seen the adverts on TV and said he'd like to go see it. So we're going to the Metro Centre tomorrow as it's the closest Odeon to us. Might have to take my sticks as would like to have a look around if we have any money left over from buying the tickets and drinks (I buy snacks before we go and hide them in my bag :rotfl:) but will think about it tomorrow Sticks might prove difficult with right arm Why can't life ever be easy??

Am seriously thinking of the 'New Computer' Pot, thank you Jo for suggesting it It would benefit both of us really as he does use my computer sometimes if he cant be bothered to go upstairs and get his laptop (although his laptop is faster than my computer) He doesn't seem to get as stressy when it's running slow whereas it wind's me up as I can still remember when it used to be really fast!

Haven't heard anything from the job, no phone call or email so unsure of what's happening with that one. Was talking to our accountant yesterday and she suggested a local training agency that work for AAT (cant remember the full title) so have sent them a message asking about pay as it would mean becoming an apprentice, not sure if 1. I'm too old or 2. What the wages would be like. But worth a look into, especially if I can get it for free.

I did find the thread of the affair but she's stopped writing now as her OH found the thread and was using it against her (:mad: what a f*****g a*****e :mad:) He sounds like a right piece of work and I hope she can find the strength to do something soon. A lot of the comments do make sense so am trying to look to the future. When he's home I trust him completely, it's when he's away I have difficulties with it I'll get there eventually, apparantly it takes 2yrs to recover from an affair, so I got another year left

To do list for today:

• Scratch *10p*
• BP
• Check bank and update spreadsheet