Weekly Flylady Thread 13th April 2009

rosepink1984

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

I was listening to iplayer with an interview with a couple who had lost both their daughters in the disaster and i had a huge lump in my throat.

Got annoyed at a guy down in the arms trying to stir up trouble on the the Hillsborough thread. Some people cant just leave things alone, a thread to remember those that died is not the place to troll:mad:

I saw an interview on This Morning with a woman who had lost both her daughters, I wonder if that was the same family.
It's very very sad. I've heard of it before, but never really been aware of what happened and I've found all the coverage of the anniversary very moving.
Was it the same troll that we have had trouble with?

gunsandbanjos

rosepink1984 wrote: »

I saw an interview on This Morning with a woman who had lost both her daughters, I wonder if that was the same family.
It's very very sad. I've heard of it before, but never really been aware of what happened and I've found all the coverage of the anniversary very moving.
Was it the same troll that we have had trouble with?

It was the Hicks family that lost their daughters - probably was the same family.
No wasnt same person as before.

toochoosey

OOOHH Froddington just had a peek at the thread, some people get tetchy dont they!!!

JillD_2

ETA mods - please please dont boot me off or move me to Money Saving in Families, I would love the support from the lovely flyladies here Thankyou

right, have finished watching The Apprentice. Great to just watch it, hubby doesnt like it and makes disparaging comments throughout but as I am babysitting I got to watch it in peace!

So shall I post my teatime routine etc then ? Here goes.
So obv on school hols its all different but in the week in term time its this:

DS (almost 6) at school so has packed lunch. I normally make packed lunch bits for girls (4 and 19 months) too so I can feed it to them as soon as we get in from preschool at 1245, and then by 115 DD2 can go down for her sleep.

I take breadsticks or rich tea or grapes or similar to school at 330 when I collect DS and they have snacks on the way home of we walk or when we get home if we drive. Either way they have snacks around 350 and are home and or playing by 4pm. I unpack bags, wash up packed lunch stuff, play a bit til around 445.
I then basiaclly start dreading tea.
On a good day I will start it at 445 and they will be eating at the table by 515/530.
On a bad day I faff about and dont start it til nearly 530 and then of course its gone 6 when they start.
I like to do a hot tea as they have sandwiches for lunch. DS in particular can put food away like nobody's business when its something he likes.

It doesnt always follow that early tea is happier, its variable.

I think I said before that over Christmas we had a family meeting and I made up a list of things that the older 2 said they would eat. The list is something like this:
- tuna pasta
- quorn fillets, carrots, noodles
- fishfingers, waffles, peas
- sausages, potatoes, beans
- jacket potatoes beans and cheese
- pizza and salad
- spag bol and garlic bread
- burgers spuds and veg (cheese sandwich for DD1 she doesnt like burgers)
- hotdogs and corn on the cob
- scrambled eggs baked beans and fried potatoes
I do try to make sure everything is balanced - protein, carbs, veg, and that they get a variety of veg.

At a push they will eat shepherds pie or quorn caserole but it involves much persuasion and I cant be doing with it. It makes it hard to bung something ion from the freezer though.
The older two are very suspicious of anything mixed up so they wont touch soups stew or caseroles. The spag bol and tuna pasta seems to be ok and as I say shepherds pie and the quorn caserole is just quorn, peppers, carrots in stock with paprika. I dont force them to eat stuff that they just dont like but it annoys me when they like the separate entities but mix them up and they refuse
As you can see most of the things dont take a lot of prep. Maybe I should peel spuds and veg in the morning or somehing though.

They then have fruit for pudding - apple wedges/grapes/melon. Not a lot, just half a dozen pieces. And a cup of milk.
If they are still hungry they can have pancakes or toast. DS gets a reasonable sized plate cos he can eat loads, DD1 gets less than half of what he gets, so like 1 large spoonful pasta and a spoonful of sauce, so its not as if I am expecting her to eat a lot or anything. DD2 gets a titchy amount and refuses most of it.
Every night they come in and DD1 says "oh no not that" or words to that effect.
DS has to be called half a dozen times to even come it (dont get me started in him) .
During much of the prep DD2 will have been crying or moaning and to be honest thats when its worst that the crying just makes me SO STRESSED and the other 2 will have some argument, and DS will wet himself etc etc. I then have to sit with them convincong them to stop kicking each other and name calling, DS fidgets like anything and spills his dinner all over the floor, he has fallen off his chair and hurt himself to the point of bleeding a few times but still wont learn. I get things like "what about drinks" , "you didnt give me a spoon", "I want sauce", they never say please or ask nicely, they are so demanding and rude.
DD2 just waves frantically while screeching NO and chucks everything on the floor. She wont attempt to use a spoon either herself or from me so everything has to be finger foody. And as I say it just goes on the floor anyway. Today for lunch she had 2 fruit bars, a box of raisins, a bag of yoghurt fruit flakes, 10 wotsits (in DS's lunchbox things) and a nibble of apple. For dinner she had 1 bit of fishfinger, 1/2 a potato waffle, about 10 peas and 3 bits of melon. Is that enough to survive on do you think ?
Actually now I wrote that down it doesnt look too bad!

Re hubby and me eating, we have found that if we eat after the kids are in bed then the evening is gone. But hubby doesnt get home til 630 at the earliest so what tends to happen is I try to have our tea ready and I eat with the kids, and hubby reheats his when he gets in.
Of course the flaws with this are
- we dont get to eat together
- I have to eat whilst single handedy feeding the baby (I cant just give her a whole palate she just hurls it across the room - I am not exagerating so I have to give her 2 or 3 bits at a time on her high chair table), and fetching drinks/sauce/more/less/spoons etc for the other 2. So I basically bolt my dinner and dont enjoy it.
- I make something different for myself as the stuff the kids like is often hard to make low fat and I am doing WW (badly) and naking 2 or 3 dinners with a crying baby in the room is hard!
The one good thing is the kids are well trained in that as soon as they finish tea they go upstairs and they know its then the rundown to bedtime.
When hubs gets home and reheats and eats his dinner, he then goes up around 645 with baby and does the whole bedtime thing. They all get seperate stories as the older 2 do reading (the 4 years old is learning too, she amazing) so that's time consuming. DD2 first, shes normally in bed by 7pm. Then DD1 she is normally in bed by 730, then DS he is normally in bed by 8pm. Hubs like sto spend this time with them and I feel I cant deny him it tho I'd much prefer they were all done and dusted a bit earlier. I tidy the kitchen and playroom and general devastation downstairs, and generally come up to help around 720 and sort laundry etc and maybe do some od DD1 stories.
I generally get back down stairs about 745 and as I said hubs finishes about 8 and comes down then.

We then have 20-30 minutes of DS coming out of his room with various excuses, every night.

So by the time its all done its been at least 3 hours since I started dinner.
And I think thats at the core of it. I know that from when I start to when they are all asleep , or more to the point, when DS finally shuts up for the day, is 3 hours, and starting off on a 3 hour slog every night feels exhausting before I even start. I never know when hubby will get in. Its rarely before 630pm and can be as late as 8pm, and he never lets me know so I just have to wait and see most nights.

Do we string it out too long every night ? We need to do DS readng and whilst he's very good he gets distracted, probably is tired bt there is no way I could do it while the other 2 are awake, so bedtime is the only time, and we have to do it every day.
We both feel that DD1 needs the opportunity to have the attention that DS has always had and she's lovng learning to read so we cant take that away from her. Do we just suck it up ? Is everyone's night time like this ?
Are my expectations just too high ?

What am I going to be like when they are older and go to bed later and there is no evening of our own ? OMG will I crack up ???

Sorry this was way longer than I meant it to be but I wopuld really love to feel better about it all as its such a bg chunk of every day to feel so down about. Any advice very gratefully received or just tell me to shut up and stop complaining

Lady-Liberty

Hello All

Not a lot of flying done today but I had a good excuse..........I spent the day with sexymouse we had a lovely time, went to Gunwharf our local shopping outlet, the sun shone on us while we sat outside by the waterfront having lunch..........thanks for the flowers hunny xx

Mudbath & froddy positive healing vibes for your Dads

Rach well done getting the application finished....fingers crossed

Hex (((hugs)))

Rose pleased to hear you are a bit brighter today.....will FB you!

Night everyone

xx

froddington

List for tomorrow - off to bed now or I won't get the car to the garage on time!

Night all, sleep well x

Magnificent Monday - Kitchen and dining room

Level Three
Vacuum the floor

Extras
HHI

Terrible Tuesday ~ Master bedroom and Landing

Level Three
Vacuum floors

Wednesday - bathroom and PC desk

Level One
Clean the floor

Level Two
Clear and clean a shelf or cupboard and put back only the necessary items

Level Three
Clear the desk of mess and mush.. get rid of those
Drag out the pc desk and clear under and behind it

Thursday - Living pit, hallway, stairs!!

Level One
Declutter the floors!
Vacuum floors & stairs!

Level Two
dust over all the electrical appliances.. be careful though I don't want any accidents!
Vacuum under the furniture you can safely move!
Clean the sofa

Level Three
Declutter the inside of a cupboard or drawer!
Degrot the under stair space/cupboard.. I'm good to you all I know!
Dust and polish bookshelves etc

My 2-a-day (or 14-a-weekend!!) list
- Literacy planning; Numeracy planning
- DT planning; Geography planning
- Sort school work; Sort school bag
- Phone BG; Phone Solicitor
- Contact Union; [STRIKE]Avon order[/STRIKE]
- Hair appt; Docs appt
- Sort and box footie programmes; Car checks

Thrown / recycled / ebayed: - 30 / 50

toochoosey

Ooops, just realised it was GnB on the other thread sorry to you and Froddington for the mix up!!!!!!

Dustykitten

JillD wrote: »

Do we just suck it up ? Is everyone's night time like this ?
Are my expectations just too high ?

What am I going to be like when they are older and go to bed later and there is no evening of our own ? OMG will I crack up ???

very gratefully received or just tell me to shut up and stop complaining

Yes you're expectations are too high - you have 3 young children - they consume your life.

When your kids are older they will still say, oh no not that for dinner but by then you will have learnt to ignore them. You will drink more wine of an evening and spend alot of time on the pc.

I could tell you to shut up and stop complaining but that would be mean - I can say, been there, done it, cried the tears, there are no answers, they will grow, you will grow grey hairs and one day you will look back and think why did I stress about such little things when they were young and now I have drugs, exams, girlfriends, them driving, them leaving home to go to uni to worry about.

You know I love you dearly Jill and I could flower it all up for you but you are the mum of 3 small kids - one thing is for sure though, I did almost zero housework when mine were that little and had a cleaner. Lots of love to you xx

gunsandbanjos

toochoosey wrote: »

Ooops, just realised it was GnB on the other thread sorry to you and Froddington for the mix up!!!!!!

Thats ok, managed not to get into an argument with them as they are clearly !!!!!!! Never going to win an argument with someone like that and didnt think it was the place to do it.

I was only 7 when Hillsborough happened but i remembering watching all the coverage on the news, its was so sad:( Watching the docu-drama on ITV3, its very good if upsetting.

Dustykitten

I've done all my ironing, wm on so off to bed now.