Help/Advice Needed On Costings For Secondary School??

Penny-Pincher!!

Hi Everyone and thanks for the replies.

I have re-shuffled my finances:eek: and it should be ok.

Glad-Thanks for saying about the kitchen. Everything has been given to us or bought very cheaply, its about priorities, so will put kitchen re-fit on hold till DD has her uniform:D Also, I forget about my ebay fundings account. When I sell anything it goes into a seperate account hooked to paypal and only use this for when we need something...I have about £250 in there ATM...so that will go along way...thanks for reminding me, Im such a div sometimes! I have been quite lucky recently on there but some months I dont sell anything at all. I sell items of clothing that are no longer needed or unwanted pressies etc.

Pointing out how much help I receive Stairlift, bathroom and cleaner (dont receive heating benefits) makes me feel a little embarrassed TBH. Never looked at it like that and now feel I having nothing to moan about and feel abit of a scrounger IYKWIM.

I should be grateful for what I already receive, but many thanks for all your suggestions and comments.

PP
xx

AussieLass

You shouldn't feel like that PP. There are probably heaps of people out there less deserving than you getting the same entitlements. It's worth a shot. No harm in trying. Congratulaions on your DD getting a place. Another idea, is that I know you have to rest a lot of the day. Are you good at any craft things that you could sell on Ebay? Might bring in some extra from time to time. Hope you pick up some good bargains at the S/H shop at the school.

Queenie

Penny-Pincher!! wrote:

....
Pointing out how much help I receive Stairlift, bathroom and cleaner (dont receive heating benefits) makes me feel a little embarrassed TBH. ...

I didn't read Glad's post as one to make anybody feel embarassed, more a case of answering your worries/anxieties about buying the uniform and offering some suggestions on how you can achieve it.

I hesitate to add my own advice (which you asked for via PM but thought by posting on the board it might help others too) incase my intentions are misunderstood.

As you know, my son was also successful in his 11+ and in September will be joining his brother (who was successsful this time last year :j ) at the Grammar of our choice; so I've had 2 to kit out within 12mths

The thing is, like you, I knew my boys were going to be sitting the 11+ because it is a "choice" to take it which I wouldn't have made if I hadn't believed they stood a good chance of going to Grammar. So, basically, I've had roughly 4-5yrs advance notice that these expenses were looming and have budgeted as best as I could during that time.

If they had been unsuccessful, I would still have needed to purchase a uniform for a Secondary school - albeit less expensive - and I've had 11 years advance notice for that LOL

Both of the lads may well be sharing the same school, but sharing the uniform will not be an option because they are both different builds. Youngest tried on his brothers uniform when he knew his results and believe me, he'll need all new!!! LOL

Basically, I'll buy his uniform from the clothing allowance I set aside as part of the basic budget.

You still have almost 6 months to purchase the uniform in so you can spread much of the cost over that time.

I don't have any family to turn to for assistance, but even if I did have and needed to ask for their help, I wouldn't view it as going "cap in hand" and I'm surprised that you feel your family would view it that way I know my mother would have been so thrilled and proud for my child that she would gladly help in any way - and probably be offended if I didn't ask! After all, it would be her grandchild and by not asking, it's excluding them from something very special in their Grandchilds life. It's a major milestone!!!

I strongly urge ALL parents of children to incorporate into their regular budgets milestone ages such as 11yo to take into account that their child *will* be changing schools and they *will* have to kit them out from top to toe accordingly.
It's a bit like Christmas, car insurance, house insurance - these are not unexpected expenses! Although the reality of the cost can still come as a bit of a shocker

Glad

I never meant to embarass you PP
you talk openly and often about the benefits you ask for and receive which is how I knew about them

sometimes an outsider can see a way to help that you can't see when you are struggling with the problem, and I wanted to help

Queenie

My Mother called that "can't see the wood for the trees" moments.

gilly41

Hi
Just wanted to say well done to your daughter getting in to Grammar School- you must be very proud!!
I havent managed to read all the thread(I am listing on ebay and flicking back and forth LOL) but wanted to add that both my kids(now aged 20 and 22) are now at Uni and I honestly dont know how I managed it- but I somehow did!!
I know it all seems a huge worry financially but it will all work out!
My son is going to America this summer to teach sport(he is doing a Sports degree) and my daughter is waiting to see if her application to Cambridge has been successful to do her Masters in maths. I brought them up on my own for years (I was on IS) and they had to make do with very little! But they have both gone on to do really well and made me very proud.
Again, well done to your daughter!
xx

Queenie

gilly41 wrote:

But they have both gone on to do really well and made me very proud.

Deservedly proud!! :T :T :T Well done to YOU! :T :T

Penny-Pincher!!

Glad-I didnt think you were having a go...LOL...you just made me put things into perspective:D I was embarrassed in the way that I receive so much help already and am moaning when there are alot of people worse off than me:o

Queenie-Thanks for the advice, its greatly apreciated! DD has only recently started schooling in this area and where she was before didnt have the 11+ exam, so have only known for about the last 8-10 months:eek: With regards to family....well....you dont know ours:rotfl: she's not even had a well done from OH's side-they have 32 grandkids and she's only the second to pass 11+. My folks have been OK and mum has offered to help financially-she has done this since I was a kid and would rather give money than a cuddle IYKWIM. DD already expects that Grandma will get her this and that and I dont like that, I want DD to love her Grandma for who she is and not what she gets from her. Im lucky though that I do have some family though, although they dont live close. You have done so well getting both boys to grammar and you should be dead proud of yourself. Its such a stressful time isnt it!

The school she is in ATM suggested her not taking her 11+ because of her vision (blind one eye/partially sighted in other), but we've never let it stop her doing anything else and she was adament at attending this particular school because of ots art and drama reputation.

I think I just feel frustrated coz im stuck at home ATM. Dont mean to sound so negative all the time and I am so grateful for everything we receive, but would much rather be back out working my ar*e off as I was doing 18months ago and not worrying about money matters:rolleyes:

I have tried making cards to sell on Ebay etc, but my hands are not good and I get stressed when I cant do it..LOL. Ebay has been kind to me over the past year and have got rid of aload of used items and have made some money to buy items needed with it.

DD will not go without anyway and thanks again for superb advice.

PP
xx

gilly41

Pennypincher- I know where you are coming from re OH family not even saying well done!!
My parents take not the slightest bit of interest in their gran children(unbelievable i know but true!!!). They didnt even send them an Xmas card last year!!!My mum told me(the last time i spoke to her which was a while ago!) that the kids have more money than her!!They only have 4 granchildren so that makes it even harder to understand! Aww well their loss!
At least they have loving gran parents on my ex, their dads side. And a great step dad!!!
xx

Savvy_Sue

Queenie wrote:

Both of the lads may well be sharing the same school, but sharing the uniform will not be an option because they are both different builds. Youngest tried on his brothers uniform when he knew his results and believe me, he'll need all new!!! LOL

:rotfl: Know what you mean! The older two managed to pass stuff down to each other, and the younger two have only one pair of black PE shorts between them, because one pair got lost! And I've managed with 2 blazer sizes between 3 of them (eldest went into 6th form when youngest started!) But I can't pass shirts to the youngest because of the perspiration stains!