Pregnant

robin_banks

She'll resurface albeit with a username.

tiamai_d

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I guess to answer that I'm the sort that worries about the environment and I think twice before using my car - I couldn't justify to myself having more than one - it's not really about the money for me.
I do realise though that not everyone thinks the way I do

We need two. One to get DH to work, one so that I can ship DS2 to his various appointments and nursery, get me to college, do the shopping etc. We compromised by getting low CO2 models. I'd love to be greener but it's not always an option.

galvanizersbaby

tiamai_d wrote: »

We need two. One to get DH to work, one so that I can ship DS2 to his various appointments and nursery, get me to college, do the shopping etc. We compromised by getting low CO2 models. I'd love to be greener but it's not always an option.

I wasn't suggesting that any family that has more than one car doesn't care about the environment tiamai, I appreciate that everyone is different - it's just something I worry about
I just wondered why the poster in question had 3 cars that's all

mountainlioness

Penny35 wrote: »

I would never want to leave my baby with someone else. I acknolwedge why some have to do this however I can only accept people who do this for necessity i.e. put food on the table not so they can try to live the same 'extravegent' lifestyle they had before baby....just my opionion though

Erm... really? People would only CHOOSE to put kids in nurseries so they can maintain an extravagant lifestyle? So what about the massive benefit to kids in their development as they learn social skills and interact with each other? So they get used to being with other people and being confident? Or how about the fact that some people actually enjoy work and are more fulfiled and happy people as a result? And actually working mothers can be just a positive a role model for kids as SAHM, especially for girls. Different maybe but still positive.

Not everyone who works and has kids is selfish and materialistic, there's a lot more involved than that. You may not understand it but it's not really up to you to "accept" it or not - good parents come in all shapes and sizes, what's best for one family isn't for another. Parents are individuals after all and only they can really know how parenthood will work best for them and their kids.

So let's not get into the working vs SAH debate - causes far too much aggro and at the end of the day it's not something to make blanket judgements about.

robin_banks

The whole 'socialising' thing is overstated in nurseries. Depending on location a SAHM with a child has access to far more places/groups/events than any nursery could offer.

Penny35_2

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

Hope you don't think I'm being rude but why do you need 3 cars between the two of you?

One car is used all year, the other 2 only half a year each one is a summer car (soft top) and one is used in the winter as the summer car is not good in wintry conditions.

Yes it is a luxury but we work hard so we can have luxuries.

However when we have a baby we will definelty be going down to two cars...

Penny35_2

mountainlioness wrote: »

Erm... really? People would only CHOOSE to put kids in nurseries so they can maintain an extravagant lifestyle? So what about the massive benefit to kids in their development as they learn social skills and interact with each other? So they get used to being with other people and being confident? Or how about the fact that some people actually enjoy work and are more fulfiled and happy people as a result? And actually working mothers can be just a positive a role model for kids as SAHM, especially for girls. Different maybe but still positive.

Not everyone who works and has kids is selfish and materialistic, there's a lot more involved than that. You may not understand it but it's not really up to you to "accept" it or not - good parents come in all shapes and sizes, what's best for one family isn't for another. Parents are individuals after all and only they can really know how parenthood will work best for them and their kids.

So let's not get into the working vs SAH debate - causes far too much aggro and at the end of the day it's not something to make blanket judgements about.

I suggest you read my post more carefully.

No-where have I suggested that people who work are selfish and materilistic. Neither have I made a blanket judgement. I have made my own personal comments. It is you that has mentioned a debate re working mums and SAHM not me, it never entered my head.

Also imo the social interaction of a nursey is over-rated. You will find many SAHM take children to play group (church halls etc..) and have other children over on playdates, coffee mornings etc..

Maybe you are the one making the blanket judgement. Just because someone is a SAHM does not mean they stay in the house with the children.

robin_banks

A good post and very true, play groups, libraries, church halls and community centres provide far more variety than any child will see in a nursery.

Said child will also get more 1 to 1 care which is virtually non-existant in nurseries.

Penny35_2

robin_banks wrote: »

A good post and very true, play groups, libraries, church halls and community centres provide far more variety than any child will see in a nursery.

Said child will also get more 1 to 1 care which is virtually non-existant in nurseries.

Thank you I completley agree.

I may not have children yet but have thought hard about the whole thing and feel as a SAHM I can offer all my child will get at nursery plus a lot more. I can offer social interaction with other children, outings, (more outings than they would get with nursery) learning play etc and mummy being there all the time...

I acknowledge I am lucky that I can make this decision as my DH has a good job and we have saved well for this special time when it comes to us.

mountainlioness

You said "I can only accept people who do this for necessity i.e. put food on the table not so they can try to live the same 'extravegent' lifestyle they had before baby." I would have thought "selfish and materialistic" was a good summary of such an attitude? Or not? Where is the misunderstanding?

I didn't say SAHMs actually always stay at home (don't think I even speculated about what SAHMs do or don't do!!)... But what nurseries offer is the chance for children to interact with each other and with other adults away from their parents - encourages independence IMHO, I am sure you will disagree.

!!!!!!, it's about personal choice, the whole point of my post was to point out that we SHOULDN'T make judgements about people's individual choices so how am I making a blanket judgement? I believe in nurseries, so you don't, what's the beef?