MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should Peggy pay back some of Archie's fortune?

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  • elbe
    elbe Posts: 83 Forumite
    what a dilemma. My ex left me for a colleague of his xmas 4 years ago. Once I was 'thinking normally' I filed for divorce which took 18mths finalised last Autumn, pre pre recession. Amicable divorce settlement considering, 50/50, no children and I didn't touch his pension. He wanted to keep our 'thriving' business and portion of savings, I wanted to keep my half in cash. Property divided equally.

    So if his business was now going downhill and he was facing bankcruptcy would I bail him out? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Nothing to do with circumstances of separation/divorce, a line was drawn in the sand when the marriage was legally finalised. How the ex spouses manage their assets from thereon in does not concern/affect the other.

    And no I would not expect him to help me financially should I fall on hard times (bearing in mind the current interest rates on my savings).

    I concur in part with some of the previous posts regarding children and amicable separations. But..... you have to wonder if the business was strong when the marriage was maybe the ex wife was the 'power behind the throne' so to speak and the soon to be bankrupt husband a mere 'front man' with little financial know how!

    that's my take on this weeks dilemma
  • dbfisokay
    dbfisokay Posts: 40 Forumite
    There is no moral or legal onus on her to do so. The settlement was based on their status at that time and unless there was an agreement to pay back monies should Archie's business fold then Peggy has no responsibility for him.

    If she feels she would like to be charitable and give him some money that would be for her alone to decide with no justifiable recriminations. She could also agree to loan him money, however that again would be for her alone to decide with no justifiable recriminations.

    Whatever her decision Archie is not entitled to anything from her.
  • For me it would depend on circumstances...if he left you for someone else, then, no, why should you support her....but otherwise if you bear no grudges, and you can afford it, yes.
  • pineapple
    pineapple Posts: 6,931 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    I think we all realise there is no legal onus on her to help him. But as for moral/emotional we can't know. As someone said, there are so many feelings and circumstances which have to be taken into account. The world is not black and white. I actually helped out my ex in practical ways after we split - and he was the one who had the affair! And he helped me out later too. Ultimately what feels right for the person is right.
  • JayD
    JayD Posts: 698 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    How on earth did she get such a generous settlement?

    Anyways, if they have reached an amicable understanding since the divorce, then I think it would be the right thing to do to help him out a little - providing she hasn't spent or invested it all.
  • omelette451
    omelette451 Posts: 1,900 Forumite
    Morally, yes she should. WOULD she, or would I, in her position? No.
  • BlueAngelCV
    BlueAngelCV Posts: 671 Forumite
    No I don't think so. It does depend on how amicable the split was though. If they were still friends and she had lots of money you'd like to think she'd offer to at least loan him some. There's no reason why she should though. It's not her fault the company's gone downhill. If he was making lots of money he wouldn't offer to give her more.

    (PS - Can tell what people have been watching on tv this week through this weeks dilemma!)
    Wedding 5th September 2015
  • If he needs the money to continue his business and therefore continue providing for his children or even leave them a legacy (assuming they have any) then she should lend him the money with a view to return it once the business picks up again. There is often more to consider than simply the individuals involved
    Mortgage £120K, monthly overpayment £600, 18 years and £100K saved
  • aumen.kanavathy
    aumen.kanavathy Posts: 2 Newbie
    edited 8 April 2009 at 9:03PM
    YES, it was an equal relationship and she will need to give him cash to live the standard of live that is acceptable.
    Now she is the stronger and financial secure person so she has to support her spouse. If she sent all the money she can legally take him to caourt and get more cash.
  • This is actually a recently reported law case. The husband and wife agreed a 50/50 division of assets with the wife taking cash and the husband taking shares. Then the credit crunch happened and the husband's shares plummeted in value. The husband asked the court to revist the agreement on the basis that whlst the wife still had 50% if the family's wealth he now only had 1%. The Judge said sorry you can't change the agreement now. It was based on the information that everyone had in their possession at the time of the agreement.

    The lesson to be learned is variety - hold some in shares, hold some in propoerty and for heavens sake hold some in cash!
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