Support for people with Depression

Elmostreet

Hi everyone. Hope you are all not too bad today. Feeling a bit lonely tonite.

the_devil_made_me_do_it

Got a letter on Saturday saying I'd been referred, to what I can only assume is on off shoot of Mind. Unfortunatly, they have a massive waiting list & they've placed me on that with a view to eventually offering me an assesment appointment.

Looks like I'll be going back to have words with my GP. It isn't really good enough to be honest. I'm really stuggling at the moment & have been since about Febuary. I just don't seem to be getting taken seriously & it's quite frustrtaing to say the least. I'm not even sure I want to, once again, pour my heart out to total strangers, especially since I'm not sure it's what I need.

Both my Oh & I have disscussed my situation, & we both agree I need professional support in place.

NorthernLas

losingpatience wrote: »

I haven't been on here in a long time but needed somewhere I could open up as I really don't know if I can take anymore.

Bit of background in October OH was diagnosed with a giant cell tumor, had an op and radiotherapy and further scans showed it hadn't returned. His gran passed away suddenly at Christmas, we had to have one of our pets put to sleep and I was diagnosed with depression. This all went on between October - April and I thought things were on the up.

However, over the last week it has become apparent that someone has stolen my identity and been taking out various things on credit using my details. The police won't help as they've said they aren't breaking the law so I've had to try to sort things out myself with limited success. Today we have been told that one of the routine CT scans OH has had on his chest has shown a nodule. We were told if the tumor spreads anywhere it will be to his lungs so we don't know if this means it has now spread to his lungs. He's going in for a further scan next friday then we have to go back the following week for the results. I just don't feel like I can cope with this anymore and don't know what to do. We're in limbo for a week or so until we find out what this nodule is, it took all my strength to get through the last thing with him, I don't know how I'm going to do it again. Then there's this problem with someone racking up all these phone contracts and setting up bank accounts in my name. I also have a very stressful job and I've just sat all day and done nothing, I can't concentrate on anything and keep zoning out. I just want to cry all the time

I found the following link which may help with your identity fraud

http://www.identitytheft.org.uk/CIFAS-Protective-Registration.asp

I think putting CIFAS registration on your file ensures that further checks have to be done before credit is approved. It will stop further mess while you clear up the other accounts.

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,I am alright,I am enjoying the nice weather Got a carnival on in town and its going well

Please vote for me here if you can as I would so like to win an ipad.
Just like my comment and click photo to go to Toyotas facebook page thank you
http://www.facebook.com/EarlStewartToyota?v=wall&story_fbid=449335774514&ref=notif&notif_t=like


Night!

chat tomorrow

love and light,

Katie xxx

rubytuesday

Just popping in to say hello to everyone and wishing you all well. I've been feeling well mentally but physically I haven't felt that well for the last two months. I'm going to go to the Doctor. Take good care everyone and I'll try and pop by more often x

Horasio

I am really at the end of my tether and feel I am going to do something desperate (not self harm, more on the lines of running away from my annoying family)

My OH just moans about him and isn't able to do much.

My mother has been paying half my son's rent so we can use his place when he is not there, if we let him know we want it in case he is off that day.

He has had people stay and supposedly they have 'helped' towards his rent but still taking her rent money. We found out they haven't paid and my mum has paid for his 'freeloading friends' to live with him. We gave the key back to him so his 'paying friends' could use the place.

Now, he is doing it again. He met a woman from Wales the other day and he has offered to let her live with him, if she pays her way. She has given her notice on her place in Wales and putting her plans into action. From past experience we know what that arrangement will be. He will take my mother's money and the person won't pay.

His car insurance is due and has a huge overdraft. My mother pays for the insurance and keeps saying if our son gets up on Saturday morning and goes to the bank, she will pay his overdraft off.

My mother bought him a laptop on the understanding he keeps the place free for us and is happy to pay half the rent so we can use the place.

He has an inspection next week and it is like the contents of a dustbin. It also stank of one too yesterday. He is going to a festival at the weekend and won't get the place clean enough in time. No we will not clean it either, as he has had time off to be able to clean it. We clean up any dirt we create (not that you would notice it amongst his and his freeloading 'mates' mess) and take our rubbish away.

My mum doesn't know about this Welsh woman moving in and him wanting his key back, after him saying he would let us use it.

My mum moans to us about him but still gives him money. We are getting so sick of it and her doing nothing about it.

What should I do? Tell her asap or leave it for our son to tell her?

cattkitt

I think it's one of those situations where the other parties involved(your son and your mother) are busily doing what they want to do, regardless of what they say or what you say. The best way to extricate yourself from it is to give up your involvement in it, i.e. you're kind of tangled up in it because you've got two strands in it:
- you want to stay in the house sometimes
- they're your mother and your son

Just tell her about what you know, and state that this is getting silly, and you're withdrawing yourself from the game.

Issue 1 - you want to stay in the house sometimes
It is giving up a "perk", as your mother is paying rent for when you want to stay.

I would suggest that I wouldn't want to stay in the house because
- it sounds like copies of the key may be in the hands of heaven knows who, who might have kept copies
- the state of it is really undesirable to say the least. It makes you annoyed, etc, and then there's the question of getting your son to clean it, which is a whole new row.
- state to your son and your mother that you do not want to stay in that house any more, because of the rent, the state, etc, and you'd rather pay for somewhere else yourself, or seeing as your mother no longer has to pay "because of you", maybe she could chip in a bit for the new place?

I think what will happen is that your mother and your son will continue with her paying for all sorts of him, including the rent, and will want to moan about it. But what you will have done is to shown clearly and unequivocally that they're doing it because it's THEIR choice, and because they're doing YOU a favour.


Issue 2 - they're your mother and your son

You still love them, and talk to them, but they're both all grown up now, and if they want to insist on her paying for all sorts for him, and him letting her, they're entitled to. But by you pulling out of your right to theoretically stay in a house you nearly always guaranteed to be in a stressful situation, you have neatly drawn a line between their ongoing game, and any responsibility for the mess that they try to push onto you.

UnluckyT

hi sequeena i feel for you and hope everything works out okay eventually as ive been through a similar experience with the abuse, plus self harming. (although i must admit it the first time ive said so here what ive been through)
hope everyone is okay and gets better.
been up and down like a yo yo, had the same old happen with 'friends' and keep meaning to have words with them.
although im not feeling so bad today you could say, especially after making myself join as well as take part in a local tai chi group.

Horasio

cattkitt wrote: »

I think it's one of those situations where the other parties involved(your son and your mother) are busily doing what they want to do, regardless of what they say or what you say. The best way to extricate yourself from it is to give up your involvement in it, i.e. you're kind of tangled up in it because you've got two strands in it:
- you want to stay in the house sometimes
- they're your mother and your son

Just tell her about what you know, and state that this is getting silly, and you're withdrawing yourself from the game.

Issue 1 - you want to stay in the house sometimes
It is giving up a "perk", as your mother is paying rent for when you want to stay.

I would suggest that I wouldn't want to stay in the house because
- it sounds like copies of the key may be in the hands of heaven knows who, who might have kept copies
- the state of it is really undesirable to say the least. It makes you annoyed, etc, and then there's the question of getting your son to clean it, which is a whole new row.
- state to your son and your mother that you do not want to stay in that house any more, because of the rent, the state, etc, and you'd rather pay for somewhere else yourself, or seeing as your mother no longer has to pay "because of you", maybe she could chip in a bit for the new place?

I think what will happen is that your mother and your son will continue with her paying for all sorts of him, including the rent, and will want to moan about it. But what you will have done is to shown clearly and unequivocally that they're doing it because it's THEIR choice, and because they're doing YOU a favour.


Issue 2 - they're your mother and your son

You still love them, and talk to them, but they're both all grown up now, and if they want to insist on her paying for all sorts for him, and him letting her, they're entitled to. But by you pulling out of your right to theoretically stay in a house you nearly always guaranteed to be in a stressful situation, you have neatly drawn a line between their ongoing game, and any responsibility for the mess that they try to push onto you.

Thank you for your reply

It would continue if I withdrew and he was the same in another place he had that he got chucked out of because of his noisy mates and the LL was appalled at the state he left it in and he got charged for cleaning etc which my mum paid for.

She helped to start with to help him get going but it has gone on too long and he's not helping himself. He appears to do the right thing, then gets taken advantage of.

He can't look after anything and he buys all sorts of luxuries, then claims he is broke.

The key is a special key, one you can't get copies of.

What I hate is she was tough with me and soft as with him. Then we have to hear her moan yet does nothing about it.

It is making us want to leave the area and go many miles away.

UnluckyT

it is hard CCStar all round, but chin up you can only do you best, and im sure youve really tried to help.
Dont get me wrong and i dont mean to be rude, but if your mum and brother are in the 'rut' or situation in despite grumbling, it continuing, bieng broke and your help to sort the situation thier probably isnt much else you can do especially as it making you unhappy.
other that try to and take a step back for your own sake and be thier to give supprt.