Support for people with Depression

Indie_Kid

I ran away again this evening. I spoke to my friend because he said on Thursday (when I also ran away) that we've now got to decide where to go from here. He said that we (him, my parents & I) need to discuss this - I am not willing to tell them what's going on. I know he's told my dad (he found him on his Facebook group - he said to me "at least I think he's your dad. The other man with your surname (we have a common surname with an uncommon spelling) looks too young.") and my dad hasn't said anything yet.

What I'm meant to tell my parents and how, I don't know. Any advice on either would be appreciated, please.

shazrobo

hi sh1305, i dont know the reasons why you've run away, but can you tell your parents the truth, surely they will support you?
hugs
shaz xxx

Indie_Kid

I find discussing things like this very difficult - that's the problem. I have no idea what I'm meant to tell them either.

jenniewb

sh1305 wrote: »

I ran away again this evening. I spoke to my friend because he said on Thursday (when I also ran away) that we've now got to decide where to go from here. He said that we (him, my parents & I) need to discuss this - I am not willing to tell them what's going on. I know he's told my dad (he found him on his Facebook group - he said to me "at least I think he's your dad. The other man with your surname (we have a common surname with an uncommon spelling) looks too young.") and my dad hasn't said anything yet.

What I'm meant to tell my parents and how, I don't know. Any advice on either would be appreciated, please.

I don't know your exact circumstances but the advice I'd offer would be to plan plan plan, just like an essay, a beginning, an intro/summery, a middle, an end, a reiteration of the summery and then finally questions. It sounds a bit too methodical because it rarely goes to plan that way, questions get asked early on, reactions take on a life of their own, body language can lead to arguements...but if you have a set structure to go back to, you at least can try to include everything you want to as you can think back to what you missed.

Try to keep calm throughout, reactions are fine but once someone loses their cool, they stop listening and become quite insular, don't listen. Thats not to say they wont listen when they have calmed down, but huge reactions will add time to talking things through and that can add to any anxiety.

Try to have someone there with you to hold your hand. It will help.

Try to make sure all the simple day to day stuff is taken care of. The phone off the hook- mobiles off! No interruptions, this is important, it deserves everyones attention, it also needs everyones full attention.

Try to plan something afterwards- its your discussion, I don't know how it will work or what your expecting, its hard to anticipate what reaction or result you will get, it could be eaisier for you to give them time, or they may want to stay with you and ask questions. They may feel its very stressful and may want to go out for a drink to chill or you may not even have a clue so may need to plan to have an empty rest of the day/evening. If you think your still going to need that person you have holding your hands for support, make sure they are free to do this!


Hope it works out for you. In my experience, its never as bad as you think it will be!

Indie_Kid

Thank you. I have just emailed my dad. (I'm 200 miles from home - so meeting up with them and telling them isn't an option)

jenniewb

sh1305 wrote: »

Thank you. I have just emailed my dad. (I'm 200 miles from home - so meeting up with them and telling them isn't an option)

Ah, so you have to let them know by email or phone- thats a tricky one! Its hard as you have no faical expressions to beable to gear what you say.

I'd go with email and then call up afterwards, discuss things if he has not already called you. Do you have a webcam? could be another option if you are able to contact him via skype.

Maybe (depending on how computer lit he is) send some links to sites to back up whats happening if there is something you have read that makes sense, but have to say I've emailed my dad links before and he claims to not have had the email (he doesn't like admitting he doesn't know how to do something) so its all dependant on which form of communication works best.

I'd still go with the script idea though, helps to have something written down and composed. BCC yourself the email you send so if you need to remember whats been said months later you have yourself your own copy.

Goodluck though.

Indie_Kid

Thank you.

Update:
I've just had a reply from my dad. He said that I can give my friend their home number and he can contact them that way. Friend said thank you and that we need to arrange a time to talk.

sandy71

Evening all. Hugs to those who need them.

Shaz, you might be able to block Ian's number from your phone. Go to his number and select options. One of them may be block.
You are being so strong and I hope things improve soon for you. x

I'm not feeling great again this evening. I have been exhausted all day and got nothing done at all. Trouble is when I feel like this I'm usually heading for a seizure after which I feel depressed, can't bloody win:o

shazrobo

sandy71 wrote: »

Evening all. Hugs to those who need them.

Shaz, you might be able to block Ian's number from your phone. Go to his number and select options. One of them may be block.
You are being so strong and I hope things improve soon for you. x

I'm not feeling great again this evening. I have been exhausted all day and got nothing done at all. Trouble is when I feel like this I'm usually heading for a seizure after which I feel depressed, can't bloody win:o

hi sandy, sorry to hear your not feeling too good tonight, hope it passes and you feel better soon, and that you dont have a seizure.
on my old samsung phone i can block numbers, but dont seem able on my new nokkia. he hasnt text for a few days, so i'm hoping he has given up. afraid i'm not being strong at all, i put on a brave face til my kids in bed, then i cry, i miss the good times, and despite things he's said and done, i love him so much. the only times i dont cry is when i'm drinking, which i'm probably doing more of now than i used to, and that bothers me too, especially as i've been told alcohol can make depression worse
hugs
shaz xxx

jenniewb

shazrobo wrote: »

hi sandy, sorry to hear your not feeling too good tonight, hope it passes and you feel better soon, and that you dont have a seizure.
on my old samsung phone i can block numbers, but dont seem able on my new nokkia. he hasnt text for a few days, so i'm hoping he has given up. afraid i'm not being strong at all, i put on a brave face til my kids in bed, then i cry, i miss the good times, and despite things he's said and done, i love him so much. the only times i dont cry is when i'm drinking, which i'm probably doing more of now than i used to, and that bothers me too, especially as i've been told alcohol can make depression worse
hugs
shaz xxx

It can! Alcohol is a natural depressant, you feel woozy as it starts to get into your system but unless its high sugar stuff or mixed with high sugar carbs (food) it will levae you subdued, then your mood starts to drop with it...and your stuck in a rut reaching for the next drink. Please be careful- it can become addictive trying to chase the immediate 'feel good' feeling you get for the first 10/20mins of a drink and takes more and more each time to get the same effect. Alcohol also carries calories, anything from 50 for a single shot of spirits to 500 for beer, weight gain can also leave some people feeling pretty low. Its a vicious cycle.

I am sorry I'm not able to give you a better solution, my only advice would be to try to talk about whats going on to as many people as possible, but I feel sort of rubbish advising on something I have little experience of- just take care of yourself, your going to be feeling very fragile at the moment, its to be expected but provided you concerntrate on rebuilding a new world without Ian, it will get better, it wont always feel this bad- that I can be sure of.

Take care of yourself hon, kid gloves!