Support for people with Depression

Horasio

Thank you for your hugs and support.

I posted the full story in the 'I'm at the end of my tether' thread

I thought I might get more replies there as it has been very quiet here for quite a while and whilst it is depressing what I am going through, it is a practical issue.

smileyt_2

Hello everyone.

I am feeling a bit better today after having a day with no rain yesterday. I am about to clean out my craft cupboard as someone on our local Freecycle wants craft stuff to take to Belarus - she is working with poorly kids there (the ones who have been affected by the aftermath of Chernobyl, I think - so many years ago but people still paying the price :mad:) It will give me the kick up the bum that I need and at the same time I can plan some of my Christmas stuff since I am supposed to be making most of my Christmas presents this year!

Adrisco and CCstar I hope you are feeling better today. Adrisco, sometimes I find it helpful to go to sleep for an hour or two in the day (I try not to have longer than that or it disrupts my night sleep) if I get the brain-gouging desire. Sometimes the only way to deal with it is to shut off for a short time. I then 'begin the day again' when I get up. I don't particularly like sleeping my life away, but I would only be moping round getting more and more depressed or agitated otherwise!

Take care, everyone.

hayley11

Hi everyone

Hope everybody is feeling ok today, and hope it's not too wet and miserable where you are

I've had a good few days, went out by myself on Friday which I was really pleased about, I bought myself a nice bunch of flowers as a little well done treat We've been shopping today as my OH won some pennies on a horse, so he gave me half and I got the new Sophie Kinsella book, a cardigan and some bits and bobs from Boots.

I've had a look at the MoodGym website and done the first section, it's really interesting and I can really relate to what it says. I need to go and chase up my doctor for my appointment for CBT though, Moodgym is good but I think seeing somebody face to face will be a lot more helpful.

I've asked our landlord if we can get a dog, we've wanted one for ages and I think it will help me a lot. It will give me something to focus on during the week when my OH is at work, it will get me out of the house and it'll keep me company He hasn't said yes though yet and i'm so worried he's going to say no. I think my mum will lend us the money to get one, I want a Labrodor, i've grown up with Labs and they're the only dogs I feel safe around. (i'm not really an animal person)

Sending lots of hugs to anybody that wants one xx

smileyt_2

hi hayley11, very quick message cos it's late and i need to go to bed, just to say i have pm'd you about labradors!:D

take care. glad you had a better day. most people on here seem to have been a bit better over the weekend.:j

joblessummer12

Gm everyone, glad to see so many of you had a good and positive weekend. I'm bit low at the mo, think its mainly cos im so confused, got alot going on in my head. but im gonna talk it through with a doc as my pdoc is away this week.

Have a good day everyone x

blinky

Hi All,

Just thought I'd pop in and say hello :hello:

I'm pretty much ok at the moment, and I've been too busy with work and wedding stuff to contribute

Getting a bit nervous as it's only 12 days until the wedding. :shocked: Not helped as I think I'm coming down with something and the guy who sits next to me is off with Piggy Flu.....

Huge hugs for everyone :grouphug:

Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it's just sometimes somebody has 'borrowed the bulb'....

beachbeth

Im feeling low today. Im still feeling poorly with my flu. I can see my week stretching ahead:

1. housework, ironing,
2. rain and more rain,
3. deciding what to cook for tea and then making something that my daughters "don't feel like" so they end up buying or cooking something else.

Just fed up and don't know what to do to buck myself up.

joblessummer12

Congrats on your pending wedding blinky, you must be so excited. Here's hoping that it will be a sunny day for you.

beth hope your feeling better. hugggssss i'm feeling down too...here's hoping to a better day 2moro.

have a good evening all x

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
HEY - WHO SAID 'D-O-G'?!
As thread cat, I take moderate to great exception to this - *piccie of me taking great exception!* - and did you really think you could slip under the Tiffy radar with all that? It's my own fault for leaving the catflap unattended.

Anyhoo, welcome to Tunasday guys. How is everyone?

I'd like to start by adding to the greetings already and sending a sincere Tiffy to misspointy(pointy), janninew(jann), joblesssummer12(summer), smileyt(smiley) and adrisco. Thanks for being brave enough to post guys and I know everyone here will have made you feel at home already.Just a footnote here to reassure our new clan members that yes, I do know I'm not a cat and that's not the reason why I post here.
I'd also like to say welcome back to hayley and blinky! It's really good to hear from you both.
I'm sorry that beth and hayley are feeling quite ill and I hope you'll both be feeling better soon. Don't try and do too much guys.


Yes guys, I left the catflap unattended and that's how miss sazzy got out early to go on holidays last week. That gilly badgie is a bad influence! I must admit I was a little concerned to discover that they'd taken sazzy's parents away with them for a holiday not a million miles from Beachy Head! I do hope mr & mrs sazzy are both safe and sound.

As for me, well, what haven't I been doing? I've had some things to take care of, though I had nothing to do with that catnip heist - I've been fitted up guvna. However, should anyone ask for me, tell them I've gone to see a man about a d-o-g!



Meanwhile, if anyone needs me, I'll be under the table!
I'd better get on with some reading back. Wishing everyone the best kind of day they can have.
Be kind to yourself guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi zith!
How are things going hunnie? Sincere apologies for my slowness in replying. I really hope things have improved for you. Thank you for posting zith - I'm glad you finally took the plunge and you are most welcome here. Please feel free to share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.
You seem to have good insight into your illness and how it affects you, zith. Please believe that you're not alone with what you're going through: it's well known that depression is aggravated by debt and that debt can also trigger depression. Before you ask your question, I've broken down your post down into smaller pieces to make it all easier for me to reply to...

- depression
- debt
- family loan

zith wrote:

Hi, Ive been lurking round the forums for a while now and just got up the courage to post in the DFW forum. My debt and depression are very closely linked which makes it even hard to explain to family and friends how Ive ended up in this mess.
I know we are not ment to discuss treatment but I have a specific question on how to save on costs if it is allowed? I will wait for a response before I post my question as there may be a different topic for it and I dont want to get into trouble.

I have suffered from depression on and off since I was about 15 but it only surfaced really when I was 17 and had my first "nervous break down" I have had 3 or 4 since then after having brief periods of wellness. I am struggleing quite a lot at the moment because I am trying to deal with the finacial consiquences while I am still in a low. Normally I can deal with it once I come out of my low but the current low has been going for nearly three years now with only very brief respites.

Depression.
You didn't say hunnie, so sorry if I suggest the obvious, but are you in regular conact with your gp or do you receive any support services? Your gp can help you gain access to many resources to help you with your depression.

If you have involved your gp already hunnie, please don't be afraid to go back and update them with your mental health situation.

Any prolonged health problem, mental or physical, needs to be monitored and reviewed by your drs regularly.

We're tempted to think, ''This is just my depression.'' but sometimes depression changes to different levels, as can our ability to cope with it. So just because you've already been diagnosed with depression, if you feel worse or things are different in some way, you need to return to your dr and discuss it with them. You may be able to get more support than you're already getting. It's always worth a visit to your dr just in case they do need to review your diagnosis or discuss other treatment options with you. You won't be wasting anyone's time and it'll feel good to have some support so that you're not struggling alone and making yourself even poorlier with stress. Being honest with your gp is vital and don't feel embarrassed - they'll have seen and heard it all before.

zith wrote:

In my lows I spend money like its water and often buy things I dont want or need to fill a hole that seems to be there. I also lend money to people in the misguided belief that they have changed and will pay me back this time.

Finances.

Citizen's Advice Bureau can probably help with this, angel. Explain to them about your mental ill health, your spending habits when you're ill and your debt situations, and tell them that you are not well enough to cope with talking to your creditors. They can negotiate debt on your behalf if you give them written permission. Seeing CAB might help your depression because they can help take away a lot of the anxiety and stress of negotiating debt, budgeting and problem-solving. They will hopefully also do a check to see if you are entitled to any benefits and they can also advise you on the situation with sil too.

If you go and see CAB, it may be a good idea to take along an already handwritten letter giving your consent for CAB to act on your behalf in these matters, to help things go smoothly. I'm pretty sure they do have a standard permission form, but better safe than sorry. Here's a link to their site: http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/
I know spending can feel like psychological first aid for so many people zith, so the other aspect to consider is ''prevention and protection''. It's kinda like birth control for your finances!

But if you think about it, it really does come down to exactly that because both situations will have an impact on all areas of your life. Thoughts that immediately spring to mind are probably this site's favourites, (sorry if you've already thought about these options)...

- never take your bank/cash card out with you, so then you can't be led into temptation of accessing more money than you should whilst out.
- only carry as much cash as you are reasonably going to need for that day/event.

- if possible, order groceries online. It really does seem to work out cheaper and you're not led into that temptation you may get when in or passing by shops.

zith wrote:

The most noteable of these is 3 or 4 weeks ago my sister in law asked my husband and I if we could lend her £300 as her OH had not paid last years council tax and had done nothing about it and the bailiffs were coming to take my nieces' wii and other things. My DH and I decided that we couldnt let them take the wii etc and said that we would lend them the money on the understanding that sil's OH sell his car (he is not supposed to be driving but thats for another days rant) and give us the money. My sil also applied for a budgeting loan to help pay us back. Since agreeing to this and us giving them the money we have had £20 back and nothing else and my sil oh has swapped the car for a different car and then that one for a different one and again that one for a different one. I also found out today that my sil has signed up for setanta to watch an old school friend fight in the UFC which is being aired on Virgin 1 which she already has. I am at such a loss what to do because if I were to confont her and her oh I know I would not get any money back but I dont think I can just put up with this when I am already struggling enough without this added stress. And I needed that money to solve the question I want to ask!

zith wrote:

So after that big long rant Im going to go now and find my book and escape into another world with magic and evil gods and flaming swords cos it seems so much nicer there than here right now!

Family loan.
I'm sorry that you've had a hard time with your sil, hunnie - it makes the Tiffster growl to hear about such things!



I know exactly how you feel 'cos I've done it myself. It's a cruel situation and I know all you did was to offer help, bless you. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I wouldn't judge anyone but these are just immediate Tiffy thoughts hun, so please feel free to ignore them - I certainly mean no offence.

- don't beat yourself up over this angel - DH was also part of the decision-making on this so it's not all down to your mental ill health at all.

- I don't know your family hun and I mean no disresepect, but the wii and stuff should have gone. Harsh I know, but your nieces' would have survived without them and your sil would have seen first-hand exactly what the repercussions were to her own family, of not dealing with their debt problems. Some people can only learn the hard way and sometimes it takes that awful kind of experience of seeing how their decisions have affected their own children to put them on the right track again.

- if they knew about your finances - which I feel they did because of the agreement to sell their car to repay their debt to you - then they should have repaid you. Regardless of their intentions and actions, they should have considered the situation they were putting you in. Doesn't your family matter too?
If they did already know about your mental ill health and your finances, then what they did was even crueller. They should have gone to CAB for help themselves. Between the benefits loan and all the car changes, there must have been a way to pay you - even if it was only half the debt. It's so hard to turn family members down I know and I'm sorry if I've offended you.

I think DH, or yourself if you prefer, should have a friendly word with her about repayments because something needs to be sorted out. Something along the lines of, ''I hope things are better for you now and I just wanted to discuss sorting out the loan repayment with you.

If that doesn't work, you could write a letter, sent recorded delivery, saying that you need this money urgently for xxxxx reasons and that if they don't pay, you'll be forced to go to the small claims court. Sometimes a little bluster can prompt the needed response.

- I'm honestly not a cold-hearted Tiff and I'm probably out of line here, so please feel free to smack my muzzle if I'm wrong hunnie, but if he's not supposed to be driving, you should report him to the police.

I say this because there must be a good reason for him to not to be allowed to drive, be it lack of road tax, insurance, health issues or for any other reason. If the police actually catch him driving when he's not allowed to, he'll be in serious trouble.

This isn't about revenge or snitching at all. What would happen if he was in an accident or he hit someone? Many people have sadly ended up in that scenario and wish they had said something to someone to prevent it. There are two benefits to this action, hun - he'd be unable to hurt someone through driving when he's not supposed to be and also the possible result being that then they would have to sell their car and then maybe hopefully repay you as they promised.

Please feel free to ask your question if you want to zith because you won't know until you ask whether it's something that can be answered here or not. I'm glad you've got your dragons and magic to turn to for some release, hun. We all need an escape route sometimes - I'm still digging for mine. Don't forget to keep your dr updated hunnie, okay? Let us know how you get on, zith.
Be kind to yourself, angel.

Much Love,

Tiff xxx