magicgirls debt free new life

magicgirl

I've been working a few extra hours these past couple of weeks because I figured if the hours are there, I should probably take them. With it being so close to the end of the tax year, the extra pennies won't impact my CTC too much and last week I ended up working 75 hours. of course, I am absolutely EXHAUSTED but I am also relieved that Ive chipped away at a few bills that have been a noose around my neck. none are paid off per se but they are a lot smaller and there fore more manageable than they were last week.


I have also found the impetus to (finally) send off the stuff needed for DD1's SFE application. I had a few issues and it has genuinely taken a while to find all the required paperwork. Lets ignore the fact that I don't actually have what they specifically asked for but I have enough evidence from other sources to prove what they want to see and so (hopefully) we will have an answer soon as to what we are entitled to. Even just getting some help from the last term would be really amazing but the staff I spoke to on the phone said that given the circs and the evidence I am supplying, they should be able to apply a retrospective decision but, while I won't hold my breath for that, I would be immensely grateful if it were to be the case.


As tired as I am, I feel I have made some headway. Looking forward to having some time with my babies soon as dd1 will be back next week and I can't wait to have my house filled with a bunch of hormonal females arguing

magicgirl

I've come back to this diary so many times these last six months but really struggled to recognise the progress I have made. ITs not that I haven't made any but it just feels so 'meh'.
Quick recap - I spent six months trying to keep my eldest daughter afloat while she was at uni and having to pay her rent and all sorts as student finance was asking for loads of additional info and when I was finally able to provide it, they kept dragging its heels. This meant I was unable to make ends meet at home as all my money was being siphoned into her needs. All of this was happening while I was having a mini breakdown but I was lucky that the help from MH charities was offered fairly quickly and it was having the therapy that allowed me to return to some semblance f normal which is around the time I started posting again but hard to stay positive when everything feels like it is stacked against you!
I am now in a much better headspace which is helping me focus on what I need to do but so much feels out of my control.


On the plus side, I have recently addressed some of my more important arrears.
Rent - sent an email explaining why my arrears came about and what I have put in to place to address it.
Council tax - I thought I was on top of this but apparently not! I have now set up a direct debit that comes out on payday so should be okay now until its paid off.
Water - I still hadn't finished paying last years bill so was late starting with this years but again, have set up a direct debit that will now address this.


Those were the big ones.
I have a mobile phone contract that is about to come to an end. The sore point here is that the phone I was contracted to is one I had given my ex husband so to say I will be glad to see the back of that obligation is an understatement!


I also hit pause on some of my more frivolous subscriptions such as Netflix and kindle unlimited. I use them loads and definitely feeling the loss but I also know that I don't need any more distractions atm and I still have my amazon prime so kids are not starved for choice of things to watch.
My expenses spreadsheets look a little dire atm and I am still working out how to get around those. Before I account for food etc,just my general outgoings leave me in deficit of around £200 each month but with my probation at work coming to an end, I will have more earning potential through additional shifts for a short while and that should help in the immediate although I will only end up owing it to the tax office eventually. At one point, I was frustrated enough that I actually considered working two (full time) jobs just to make sure I could make ends meet but I realised that my health and my family are more important than money so waved goodbye to that idea for now.


Progress on the home has been helpful and I have not spent as much money as perhaps was needed but where I have cut corners, it is purely aesthetics. Still have lots to do but gradually making more space and purging so much that is truly waste and making space for all good things. I am finally ready to thin about what a whole new life could actually look like and while its still going to take me some time to get there, I feel like its actually possible for the first time in a long time.

Honeysucklelou2

You are so right, health and family are more important than money, though it can be so easy to lose sight of that in the eagerness to get rid of debt.

magicgirl

So, yesterday being payday naturally means that all my money has already been spent by today. However, I feel like I may actually break even this month as I have been paid for the two extra shifts I worked in September and if just two shifts helps me to break even, I really hope I can get a few in over the next few months. Obviously that will only see me until April when tax credits will recalculate everything and tell me I have earned far too much to be entitled and they want it all back but until then, I shall try and keep paddling to the shoreline. There are a number of things that have helped tbh. First is that dd1 has her SF paid and, along with her little bar job, is able to keep herself fed.
I only missed one payment last months (was expecting it to be three) and that has now been brought up to date and I have separated some of the money that will go out at the start of next month (I have a few payments that go out between 5th and 9th totalling around £700) and just hope I can be mega careful with my TC as it comes in to manage the weeks until the next payday.
The smaller girls have been really invested in the work I have been doing in the home as well and with their help, I have managed to clear so much in the flat. That is helping immensely and hoping to have the kitchen more manageable soon so I can stop finding excuses for nipping to the shops to 'quickly grab something' to feed the kids. Thankfully, the smaller ones are not as fussy as their father and quite happy with just a sandwich and fruit or an omelette in the evening. Just have to be better prepared for the vegetarian (trying to be vegan) child.

magicgirl

One week after 'payday' for me here. I've made a conscious effort to put aside the money needed for next weeks bills and NOT TOUCH IT!! I really want to move their pay dates to when I get paid but that might be a little way off until I can do my sums a bit better.


I have also started my Christmas prep.


presents for dd1 and dd2 have been bought. I know what I am getting for dd3 but still need to probe dd4 for her thoughts. I am getting everything second hand and not buying any (substantial) gifts for anyone else (I think I have enough stuff to make some lipbalms and will ribbon wrap for presentation)


Things I am trying to do differently:
First is to track my spending properly. Every penny that isn't a bill is being logged for now and hopefully that will help me get my budget in check properly. I will have a week in December with no kids and also no school club fees so that should offset some of the Christmas costs.
ONE MORE WEEK until my probation at work is over. After that I should be able to put myself down for more shifts. I am still deliberating over that as I am not sure I can afford the TC bill at the end of the year. The divorce has already left me owing them money that I just can't afford to pay right now. But I am crunching numbers daily for now and making adjustments as soon as I know where they are needed.


Also planning my new years eve do. I've found a couple of cheap bits that will serve as great d!cor and am thinking of how to make the place look like a twenties speakeasy while spending as little as possible. I even thought about using jam jars with tealights to create a better ambience and I think I could make that work but need to do a bit more prep to make sure it looks how I am seeing it in my head. Main thing I want is space saving so ppl can dance rather than knock drinks over. I did look at making a cheap Prosecco wall type thing so people have somewhere to park their glasses. Each guest will have a named space if all goes well..


So much more to get through but I have too much time to think at the moment as working eight nights over the next nine. Just thinking about it makes me feel exhausted. lolz

magicgirl

Got a message from DD1 last night saying 'I need to come home so I'm coming home' with a screenshot of her coach tickets for next weekend. Obviously I am thrilled to be seeing her but she is feeling a bit down so hopefully will perk her up. I am only free on the sunday (she is here Friday to sun) as working F/Sat night - but will see her before work on Friday.


I have got her something for xmas to go with her tele. DD2 reminded me that she doesn't have a tele. (I've not been to her house yet so no idea what she has or hasn't got) but thought that she could take the small one back with her this trip as it is not being used in my place atm.


Although only three days in to the month, my spending diary has been interesting.
I am separating Christmas spends from daily spends in a different column but still accounting for the same month. I have no idea how to budget for things like xmas and birthdays as I don't always do birthday gifts (unless kids are invited to a party) and Where I used to spend a small fortune on Christmas (to make up for lack of birthday presents) but now I don't have quite so many ppl to buy for. I would have continued to buy for ex in-laws at one time as I believed we were all quite close but after they went radio silent on me and kids after the split, I don't feel like I want to make any effort. I do for the under 18s but only via post and I did for the grandparents last year but I have told the older ones that I am passing the batton on to them now. They were keen to make personalised chocolate bars so I guess it won't be too hard. Haven't done those for a few years.


Also agreed with DD2 that we would do the declutter challenge where you throw one item away on day one, two on day two and so on. Hoping it will help get us motivated to clear out the place.


The stuff I had planned for new year is looking at approx. £150 all in so I am looking at what I can forgo or make myself etc. That figure includes food and drink so I may encourage guests to bring crisps and other snack type things so I don't have to. I'll have a better idea once things are ready for xmas but then its all about timing of deliveries and what have you but I'm so glad I have seen this now as I have more time to organise how I want things.

magicgirl

Another brain dump/thinking aloud post..


Managed to gee the small ones up today to have a bit of a spring clean and they were very eagerly gathering their smallest toys to add to the declutter total and tallied it off as they put them aside. I was so happy to see them do this. I have four more nights at work (including tonight) and then I will have three days where I planned to attack as much of the place as possible but AF is due and I have been feeling so awfully tired thanks to that, SAD, and extra work hours and home stress etc. I am willing her to arrive early so I can get her out of the way before all my time off ends. If not, it will only be another three days after that but that's three days for more chores to pile up...


I also started looking at my spending with more clarity. I am trying to separate the categories to better reflect what it is at a glance. It was a bit of a shock to see in this week alone, I have spent over 200 on groceries and food etc. One of those 'meals' was a random night out with my brother last night as we both happened to be off and took the chance to see each other, and the other was a £60 meal out tonight because my ex was over and kids were hungry so we went out. (Its the first time we have eaten out in a while and so I decided I would just absorb the cost as we normally take it in turns to pay for meals we have with the kids and it was my turn anyway.) Going to do some meal planning with the girls this weekend. Smalls are going to be so excited to see big sis home. Will hopefully find some creative ways of using up leftovers too. So glad I am off Sunday so will hopefully manage a dinner with all my babies before the big one heads away.


Travel is the one I am most keen on seeing at the end of the month. I have to go and see a friend in morning who has been in hospital for over a week and although we have kept in touch, I haven't seen her since I put her in the ambulance. I am deliberating between contunig to use my debit card for travel (as it is supposed to work out ever so slightly cheaper) or just getting an oyster where I keep my monthly spend (expected) on it so I don't end up stranded for work (which has been a very real possibility recently)


I think those are the key things I need to consider atm. I have so far managed to not add to my cc for a change and am really hoping to make a dent in those next year. I am still feeling quite motivated and in such a better head space than this time last year so fingers crossed that continues.

magicgirl

I need it to be morning already. Can't wait to see my DD in morning.


I thought I would take a proactive approach and see what advice stepchange is offering. O was a bit shocked when they said I spend too much on medicine. My limit was suggested at £22 per month but I have three prescriptions and then have to account for OTC meds that I buy because it is cheaper than a prescription. They did that with a few things like kids school lunch which are a set price. I am encouraging the high school kids to take stuff from home more often but as a family, we are very time poor and its not always practical but they have been good at doing that when they remember.


DD4 was really sick yesterday but I have had letters from school telling me I can't have the kids off anymore without consequences. Its so frustrating because its their rules that I have tried to adhere to and yet I am still going to be penalised for the time. Thankfully she is feeling better and it did spur me on to get more done in the flat. I have an awful feeling my washing machine may be coming to the end of its time but its only six years old so I may have to investigate further. I have vacuumed and disinfected all the key areas. Been doing the declutter challenge and dd2 has really gotten into it. She is already ahead on her items to be removed. I am about halfway to where I should be but I plan to catch up on my days off. I feel I can see some light at the end of a long dark tunnel. Just a glimmer but its there...

Honeysucklelou2

Have a super time with your DDs ...it's always lovely to see the ones that are away and come back .

magicgirl

Thanks Honeysucklelou2. Its always lovely to cross paths with people who understand that.
I managed to get a few hours with her this morning before she toddled off to see her bestie in oxford. After meeting her friend, she visited with her dad and his new GF (who she hadn't met before but will be spending xmas with so I'm glad she got to meet her before hand) but was home by 11pm. I started work an hour early today as had meeting from 8:30pm but as of 8am, I am out of here for three whole days. Its been about three weeks since I had that much time off so I am really looking forward to it.


I have been having a mini panic about kids dance fees. I am so torn atm. I was seriously thinking about talking to dd4 as she has been moaning so much about dance over the last few years and I figured if she doesn't enjoy it, maybe its best she stops. Today, before I have this convo with her, she tells me that she loves going now that she is able to start a bit later as she feels she gets enough rest to enjoy it. So that plan is now toast.
I have to pay 500 before end of this month but I think I might just have enough to do that and then next month, I will start paying early (next fees not due til Jan but teachers let me spread payments over the term cos I have so many of them) so I can get a little ahead on that as next term is show term and there is extra due for costumes and stuff. I have promised myself I will not buy any photos from this years show. (I hope I can stick to that. lolz)


today I actually missed having my gym membership for the first time in months. But as its the first time in months, I figured I did the right thing cancelling it. I think that, as I have lost some weight recently, its making me feel a bit lighter AND more motivated so I am just going to try and stick to doing what I have been doing. Its obviously working. my BMI was 26.1 in morning which is better than I thought - not long to 'healthy' although I need to get to mid range healthy to be properly considered healthy as my ethnicity makes me higher risk for health issues at BMIs higher than 23.
I gave dd2 the meal planner templates for her to add her thoughts and we will hopefully get those finalised soon.
I stocked up on kittens food and litter so should have enough for at least six weeks (hopefully I can stretch it to eight)


Looking forward to lots of clearing out and organising over the next few days. AF is visiting so I may forgo 'date-night' with my beau this week in favour of doing the work I keep procrastinating over.