Right, Third time lucky, I will do it this time

angie_baby

Evening All,

The meeting didnt go well at all to be honest. Nothing was resolved and the head not being there made the whole meeting pointless anyway.
No one could agree on what is the best action to take, there is alot the teacher wont agree on.
For example i asked about work to be sent home if Joe doesnt do his work at class. The teacher says she doesnt have time to do this. Contact book was mentioned again and again the teacher doesnt have time to fill it in. Teacher said yes to contact book, if the senco does it which is pointless as she is not always in Joes class.
Also behavour outreach lady had a book for Joe, a sticker is ment to be put in when Joe remembers to raise his hand, nothing has been done at all for the last 6 weeks, two were half term though.
We went round and round in circles for an hour before my dad called an end to it as it really was pointless .
Ive asked for the head to call to arange another meeting as there as serious issues now and it seems obvious that there are major problems with communication, the whole teacher / parent relationship is not good. And i am worried how this will effect Joe at school.
I am really upset at the moment and am not sure what to do for the best. Ive always wanted a good parent / teacher relationship and its obvious its not really working. I feel like ive failed to be honest. I know Joe is not perfect and to be honest i dont want a perfect son but i do want one who can respect his teachers and not walk out of class.
Ive been thinking about various options, one is moving to get Joe into a better school for a fresh start after the summer hols as he will be entering Juniors. Ive been on a home swap list for the last 4 years and no one wants to move here so i would need to rent privatley.
This will cost money but its either moving or home schooling Joe and i cant home school him as i would need to give up full time work and i cant afford not to be full time.
Its all a mess and i need to sort it. I just dont know how.

angie_baby

robsmum wrote: »

Happy Birthday for last weekend. Sorry have neglected you been a bit rough recently. Hope the meeting with school was successful. I agree with you about that safe and cosy feeling when the cupboard is full. I love books too, can just loose yourself. What are the competitions you do?
My smoking gone right back up the last week or so but doing to start again at weekend. Catch up again soon.

Thanks robsmum,

See above for the school bit :rotfl:its either laughing or crying at the mo!

I think i got my love of books from my mum, unfortuntaly Joe hasnt followed me on this He is fine as long as i read to him but if he is reading as soon as he sees a word he doesnt regonise he just gets all nervous and loses all concentration.
Ive only ever done comps from this site, i only really enter the ones i would like to win like hols and money prizes but got lost on the comps thread the other day and spent an hour going through them all. Ive found once you start entering them though you get alot of emails through offering more entries into other comps. Best bit about MSE though they give you the answers!
I really would like to win a holiday though entered once for a holiday in scotland near a lake in a cottage, sounds like bliss!

angie_baby

Morning All,

Apologies to all that read my rants! I know my posts are not all MSE related. But this diary has kinda become somewhere i can off load alot of stuff, money or just home stuff.

I must admit im feeling rather poo today. I didnt get to sleep till gone 3. I ended up writting huge lists of everything trying to clear my head. Ive got a feeling my going to have a massive migrane today (my own fault for stressing so much) Have got a few calls to make today, need to phone the behavour outreach lady and the head to try and get a meeting with him asap.

I still havnt left for work, will leave in the next 10 mins or so.

Money side i did spent another £5.45 on ciggs

And will be spending a £1.70 on a proper cup of coffee this morning. I still need to update my sigs and will prob do that tonight.

angie_baby

Well, i have spoken with the head and now have an appointment with him tomorrow at 8am. Im going to get all of Joes bits together that ive done with him and the tutors stuff and take that with me. Going to re-write all the problems i think we have down again and take that with me.

Feeling better now i know ive got an appointment tomorrow to try and sort something out, not sure if parent / teacher relationship can be sorted as Joes teacher really does seem to of washed her hands off him. Childminder has also noticed that Joe is ignored alot of the time, even when he asked her a question

Oh well, the meeting will be a step closer to sorting things. Hopefully!

I have still been looking at other schools for Joe, but they all seem to be the same around here.

I need to keep all options open though.

I have also been talking to my dad about living with him for 6 months so i could save up some money to be able to rent privately. Not ideal as Joe and i would have to share a room but i could be able to save at least 3k if i did move in with dad and still pay money off my debts. Means i would have to give up my housing !!! place but i really do need to move.

Hopefuly the day is going to get a bit better, going to go out at lunch to the pub and sit in the beer garden with a coke and my notebook and get some ideas on paper. Not very MSE but i am feeling bluh today, head is banging, pain killers are not working and need to get out already!

angie_baby

Compleatly forgot, Joe is going to Scouts for the first time tonight, £3 per session but im hoping it will help him make more friends. Wont buy uniform or anything like that for a while though. Want to make sure he likes it first! He is looking forward to it though!

robsmum_2

Hi Angie,
Just read your last posts and the school makes me so angry and Joe not even my son! I adopt all the kids for miles around. An old friend refers to me as "The Gaurdian of The Children".:ADon't beat yourself up about this, you are a good Mum and doing your best. The school is at fault here and they don't sound very caring.
Few suggestions now:
Meeting with school;
Make a list of all your points, so you remember what you want to say. That will help you keep in control. Remember you know what is best for Joe. Stress that you need contact book as different people involved in Joes care and you need CONTINUITY( A BUZZ WORD SCHOOLS LIKE).
Ask why teacher doesn't have time to write a couple of lines? I feel the time issue is a cop out, it only takes a minute.
Housing;
Contact your HA local Housing Officer, explain that Joe's education and also your health are being affected by the schools response and ask if there any way they could re-house you. Stress that Joe also needs some outside space and more room.
Doctor;
Contact your Doctor and explain all you have said on your posts and ask if he can write to HA and support you with an application for re-housingand if he can recomend any local support for you.

Finally for now, be very careful about moving into your Dad's. It would not be a good move for you and Joe to share a room , also once you give up your flat you are classed as making yourself homeless and they have no obligation to help in future.
Sorry, to sound bossy, just concerned.
Love and hugs.

angie_baby

Thank You robsmum :A

They are all very good points, I know if i leave the HS place, i would find it very hard to get back on the list again

I will go and see my doctor, they have given me sleeping pills ( took them once and felt like a zombie for days) / various mirgrane pills etc so know how stressed i am. And it is just stress that causes them.

Will also get onto HA to see if they can do anything, i have begged before but they dont seem to really care

Also i really dont want to live with my dad, not that i dont love him, but i havent lived at home for over 8 years now!


Went out at lunch and got a few bits down on my list and have also had some input from the childminder too.

On the money side of things i have a huge confession.

I HAVE USED MY CREDIT CARD - £50 worth and need to pay out an extra £49 at the end of the month once im paid.

I used the card to book a parents get lost holiday for Joe, ok it is expensive for only 2 nights but im hoping that this will also prove my point that Joe is good as gold (nearly) out of school.
It is also a good start for Joe as i was thinking about these holidays last year as Joe is always going on about going to the shop etc without me and i was worried about him going for a full week so 2 nights sounds like a good start. He will go on Tuesday 26th May in the morning and i will collect him at 6.30 pm on the thursday.

Maybe ive done the wrong thing by booking this but i know Joe is already excited about this and the activities they do - hes been on there website.

angie_baby

Morning All,

Meeting with the head was very productive. He agrees that things are not being followed correctly.

According to Joes record he has only had one problem which was fighting months ago. So even his new rules arnt being followed. Head has agreed that it seems that they think 'oh its just Joe' and let him get on with it.

There was alot more to the meeting and im feeling a bit more positive about the situtation. Its has been agreed that if Joe walks out of class they will follow the school rules and i walking out of class is serious he will jumo straight to a slip which means detention at school and me being informed. Three strikes in a week and he has a half day exclusion in school - so he would need to sit out of class with the head. This goes on until suspension and then full exclusion. Joe will also have a card with the days on and a sticker for each day he has been good - day broken down into am/pm

There is so much more to write but my head is all over the place still. But my list did help alot!

Anyways best get stuck into work!

robsmum_2

Hi Angie, that sounds like a bit of positive progress, don't let the teacher lapse though. She could well do as she will feel criticised and so she would be should! RANT OVER!
I think its fabulous that you have booked Joe's holiday. It will do his confidence a world of good and do you good to have 2 nights on your own. My neice has done holiday jobs at those type of places and all the kids love them. Hope he enjoys scouts another good experience for him.
Sleeping tablets are not really the answer and will make you feel zombie like, but maybe a mild anti-depressant would be of more benefit. I have long term M.E. and have been on and off a mild anti-depressant at night for years. (Back on as of last Monday). This helps control the mood swings, sleeplessness, stress and then I sleep better. Do a list for Doctors also, will help. More soon.:o

angie_baby

Thanks robsmum,

We didnt get to scouts

There was a breakdown at work and my dad had to go out meaning no lift and i was late home. Not a good start but we will be going next week.

Turns out that the head went for a job interview for Joes school as they are joining the juniors and infants together - juniors gets great reports while infants is dreadful. I hope he gets it as he has alot of experience and has some really good ideas for the future.

The head seemed to understand my points and there will be regular meetings from now on to monitor Joe.
I do feel like ive been so hard on him for his behavour at school and am feeling a little guilty that ive been too hard.

Im so excited about Joes holiday! I think he is going to have a ball, the activies look so good, im jelous and want to go to now! Its not that far away, end of may so not long to wait at all. Havent a clue what im going to do with myself, but have put a holiday request in for the Tues after the bank hol, so after ive dropped him off i will have a nice day of not being a mum and not at work! Joes never been away for more than a night not sure whos more nervous, me or Joe.