The Quest - 2

Shoe_Gal

Well done Lula, sounds like you're back on track :A

Might try the low cut top idea as my MOT is due soon - but not sure I have your 'assests' :rotfl::rotfl:

Keep going with the dieting - you can do it! Not sure why but my dieting seems to have finally fallen into place - not really sure how but I have now managed to lose half a stone Could the secret be not worrying about it too much :rolleyes:

Horace

ah hem...I thought that the MOT re-test was free anyway

My weekend was spent mainly sleeping and fending off ex OH who seemed to get turned on by my passionkilling primarni jimjams (cute, pale blue with white stars - button missing already:rolleyes: with matching fleecy dressing gown):eek: Still, I managed it - anaesthetic is amazing as you can pretend to be asleep when you are really wide awake:rotfl: He's gone now anyway and I can do as I please plus I don't have the stink of his fags to contend with:eek:

Floorboards - definitely white to follow through from the hallway or you could do the whole lot in brown:D

Today I have been watching the telly and have decided that I quite like Escape to the Country with houses that I can never expect to afford and yet folks moan that they have 2.5 acres of garden that might not be flat because their prospective house is on a hill - sometimes one has to make compromises:rolleyes:

Anyway I am off to put on my primarni jimjams and matching dressing gown and I will be back to play:D

Lula-Hula

Morning all & glad to have you back Horace :j

Yes, you are quite right - if you leave your car at the garage & have it fixed & redone within 14 days it is free. Or if you take it away & return it fixed within within 24 hours it is also free. If you take it away, use it to take your dad to the pub, drive down to see Wol & Numpty :shhh: all with a failed mot & then return it to the garage a week later it probably shouldnt be free ... but they are very lovely people at the garage & will now be having the pleasure of servicing & new cambelting my car in november .

Anyway, on with the financial news & today it is very very ugly My dear DD1 has got herself into a right mess :mad:. It's not a complete surprise :rolleyes: but it is grim. Aged 19 & having just left home she applied for & got a Lloyds CC with a limit of £5,000 :eek: & an apr of ... 39 % :eek::mad::eek::mad::eek:

Needless to say this was maxed out within months & she was only making minimum payments. NB - I did on numerous occasions question her ability to have 4 holidays a year & a never ending supply of clothes, shoes, bags, perfume & nights out etc but was always told it was overtime or the BF was paying :rolleyes:. This was all happening not long after my mum passed on so I wasnt really with it enough to investigate fully & also close to having my own LBM of which she was fully aware.

She managed to get the CC turned into a loan by Lloyds & has since been paying £200 a month. They also gave her an overdraft of £1200 & she has been living in that ever since. She has incurred charges of over £1500 in the last year & is now attempting to claim them back but is still short every month. Her Direct Debits have been bouncing & her car insurers cancelled her policy. So that she can get to work I have paid her insurance for the year on my 0 % card on the understanding that she will repay me at £100 a month before the 0% bit runs out :rolleyes:.

There has been wailing & weeping (her), swearing & shouting (me) & I am now trying to help her sort it out. Her plan is to get a new loan to pay it all ( including me & another card & a couple of other minor debts) off. She will need £5,500. I made her do a debt remedy on the CCCS website & they reckon she needs a DMP - quick. She doesnt want to go down that route as having worked for Capquest :rolleyes::doh: when she first left school she realises the implications & how it will affect her.

Without the overdraft charges - approx £200 a month - she can easily afford to pay all her outgoings & if she sticks to a very strict budget for the next 6 months can reduce the overdraft to nothing.

I can pay off her overdraft & at a push her loan too which will immediately set her straight & enable her to get started on a budget. It will go on my CC.

The question is, should I . To be totally honest, I dont want to .

I am a long way from sorting myself out & am still seething that she was stupid enough to get herself into this mess knowing full well my own circumstances. It sounds horrible but I dont believe that her LBM is full beam yet. On top of the car insurance I've also had to lend her cash for food & petrol til the end of the month. This has come from my funds which are now depleted . There was talk of having her wages diverted to my account & I would take over paying her rent & bills etc & give her money to live on ... I have enough to do managing my own. I would be really really strict & we would have many many rows.

Her wages go in next tuesday & what with the bank charges, bills, loan etc she will again be over her overdraft limit if she is to buy food & petrol & the circle will begin again. It is too late this month to divert her wages, inform the bank & start a DMP if she is to salvage her credit status.

My plan is to buy her food & petrol for the month to start reducing the overdraft & take her bank card off her.

I dont need this !!!!!! right now & yes, it will impact on my finances for a couple of months but I am her mother & have had to learn my lesson so do feel some kind of responsibility.

Any thoughts or advice will be much appreciated.

My personal news is that I had to shoot to Tatco for teachers presents & ended up doing my shopping early this week & spent £30 but got a £2 coin so that's all alright then :rolleyes:

Off to buy my sis's birthday present now - through quidco of course. Sadly, I couldnt get DD1s car insurance through Quidco - feel robbed :mad::D & so glad I'm not 21 :rotfl:

bye for now

lula
xx

Hollyberry

Just catching up Lula (and glad to see my influence stretches all the way from the Med, making you get rid of that carpet :D).

Glad the car didn't turn out to be too scary in the end. I had to have a new cambelt for mine earlier in the year, and Lovely Lee at the garage did it for much less than I had feared. Just as well, as OH's semi-posh car started flashing all kinds of lights at us just before the hols (rumours of the ignition coil and about £350), so we had to take mine with us.

As far as DD1's finances go, I guess it is a bit of a rite of passage for all of us at some stage. Even those of us who are pretty sensible have made some daft decisions, and at least she realises the impact of some of the actions open to her such as the DMP. It sounds like a wise decision to wait until the LBM reaches more than 20 watts, whilst at the same time protecting her from the situation worsening. Can she add any part time work/overtime to pay things off more quickly? It must be a very hard decision to make as a parent as to how much help to give. My inclination would be not to take over payments as it might be a case of out of sight and out of mind. But I would certainly be wanting to help with the budgeting as much as I could, and probably dropping off some key essentials when I could afford to do so (I know you mentioned food & petrol for her, and have already sorted the insurance). You'll find the right balance for DD1. :A

[Deleted User]

Hi Lula honey,

I can understand just how frustrated and annoyed you are at the moment and you are right you don't need this carp at the moment but as you said you are her mother and we've all had to learn this lesson at some point in our lives. I can't tell you what to do but I do think you are right in taking her card off her.

Pm me if you want to chat hun.

As for the car...that did make me chuckle, last year we went to Devon and back in my car and the MOT had expired! I was most shocked when I found out.

((((BIG HUGS))))

Tea
xx

Horace

Lula - I would discourage her from taking out another loan because consolidating the debt will make her run up more debt. I know you are her mum but she needs to learn about budgeting now otherwise she never will - sorry if this sounds harsh. Taking her bank card off her may help but she needs to sit down with you (being the sensible one and gritting your teeth) and work out her income and all her outgoings. The debt isnt insurmountable but she needs to understand she cannot live her life on credit, she can start by claiming her bank charges, cutting up her credit card and looking for some extra work - can she shift her credit card debt to a 0% balance transfer card and then cut that card up so she doesnt spend on it? That way she can pay the minimum say £25 a month which shouldnt leave her too short. Don't pay it yourself - she has to learn and learn the hardway - you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes.

Maybe she could ebay her excess clothes, shoes and bags? If she sticks to a tight budget then she should be able to do it.

PM me hun if you want a chat - I am the queen on living on £50 a week and keeping in credit whilst paying my bills (although to be fair I do get some housing and council tax benefit).

Lula-Hula

Bless you all & thanks for the advice & also welcome back Hollyberry :j

The small CC is only £200 so piffle really. The problem is really the overdraft which swallows her wages in one gulp & what with the monthly charges means she never ever gets out of it. The previous CC has already been turned into a loan at a reasonable rate. There is no more credit avaialable to her.

anyway ...

Having ignored everything I said last night she has been on the internet applying for loan after loan after loan :doh:needless to say most lenders have turned her down & she is now left with a definite offer from Go Loans but they havent yet divulged the interest rate - must be a corker then :rolleyes:

A lovely company called Debt Advice Line are offering to take it all on & negotiate with creditors for only £200 a month ... of which they keep £35 :rolleyes: for 30 months thereby earning themselves a juicy £1050 They also told her that she shouldnt get more credit but if she does & she cant pay it then they'll take that on too - For F's sake :mad:

I still reckon CCCS is the way to go & have explained to her that her credit is now shot to bits anyway. The other option is to whack the loan & overdraft on my Barclaycard with a 0% BT deal for 6 months ( if they allow me to do that as it's not actually my debt I'm transferring)) followed by 18% apr. I dont reckon she's going to get a better deal than that other than with CCCS but am still very very very wary of taking it all on. It'll push me right up to my £7,000 limit & means I am 100% responsible for the lot _pale_ & I just sussed out that even if she clears a grand before the interest kicks in, it will be £100 a month.

My gut instinct is to just clear the overdraft for her & let her get on with making the loan repayments. I agree with Horace as to lessons not being learned & having managed to keep my own credit status intact & never miss a payment or get behind on anything in spite of the debts, I feel that will be of the most value to her. I just dont trust my ability to not get narky if she has nights out or buys new clothes while owing me about £2000 . We have already done a budget & on an average month even after the loan repayment she has about £300 left when all rent & bills are paid. The overdraft charges are the problem.

I agree with Tea about wanting to help as she is my daughter & has been making her own way in the world. She bought her car with her first months wages & has always taxed & insured it herself & I do believe that she is yet another victim of the banks irresponsible lending previous to credit crunch in the same way that I was ... although I do now realise it didnt mean I actually had to spend what they offered.

She works for the NHS so already does shifts & has worked the last 3 weekends in a row to boost her wages. She also does the odd bit of babysitting & cannot ebay anything else as one of the creditors is paypal :rolleyes:, the fees bounced, the bank charged etc etc... the DCA letter came here when she didnt reply at her previous address :mad:

She's coming over tomorrow with all her paperwork & exact figures so after a lovely trip to the dentist I then get to spend the first day of the summer hols dealing with this

I still have work to do so best get on with it ....

thanks again for all replies & offers of support & chats :A ... you may well live to regret that

lula
xx

makeup

Hey Lula

Sorry to hear about all of this - how awful for you - when you are working so hard on reducing your own debts.

I don't think you should pay off her debts for her. She is old enough to deal with them herself and she is going to be able to do it herself.

If she was facing eviction or something like that, then that would be a different situation.

I think particularly in light of the fact that you are not flush with cash at the moment you should give her lots of advice and help with her with budgeting but I agree she needs to learn the hard way.

When I was at Uni I suddenly realised I had no money and was going to struggle to pay my rent...my parents covered one months rent for me but I went out and got two part time jobs and supported myself (more or less) with that. (Of course I still had tons of debts when I left Uni but I managed to get rid of them by working lots with one full time and one part time job when I graduated)

Good luck, I know you will do the right thing for you and your daughter.

Take care!

moo2moo

Safe in the knowledge that it will be 9 years before my DD1 can apply for credit I'd be very harsh and make your DD1 deal with the whole caboodle herself and wouldn't bail her out at all. Not one teeny weeny bit. Saying that in 9 years time I'd mostly likely go running to her aid with cheque book in hand.

Clearly shes tried to do something constructive about this and has at least managed to convert a credit card debt into a loan but that doesn't appear to have been enough of a wake up call. The most obvious thing seems to be that the monthly overdraft fees are the problem. I'd clear the overdraft for her with the proviso that she reclaims all the banking charges she possibly can and hands them over to you to replenish whatever is outstanding. If she does have £300 a month left after her essential outgoings it wouldn't be unreasonable to insist that she gives you a large chunk of this each month towards her overdraft debt. No pain no gain.

It still sucks though. Have freed up my PM box just in case.

Shoe_Gal

Hi Lula

Poor you, you don't deserve this :mad:

Tend to agree with everybody else, but remember I don't actually have any children, so don't have that emotional tie

From my own experiences, my lovely Mum and Dad have helped me out a few times - always making sure I had food and a roof over my head when it got that bad - but have never paid off debts I had accrued through silly spending, and I wouldn't have wanted them too

As you know, I still struggle and am no angel when it comes to spending (just confessed to Buffy about a random top I bought in Asda today ) but if my Mum and Dad had paid everything off I would never have learnt what little restraint I have

I wish you luck, whatever you decide to do - amd remember you will always be a F Fabulous Mum and friend