The Quest - 2

Lula-Hula

Thanks to both Moo & makeup & ShoeGal :A

Yep, gotta be honest I'm sorely tempted to just tell her to get on with it.

Her lightbulb must be one of those low energy types - it's not that long ago that she spent a month here absolutely free & having lost her previous contract phone to a DCA after bouncing the monthly direct debit she's been on a payG for months. While living here she arrived home one day with a new shiny phone with internet access all for £35 a month. However, she tells me that this is a bargain as she was spending £70 a week on her pay G :eek:. Admittedly she doesnt have a home phone, cable or sky or a pc so that is her only connection to the outside world. I am seething about the £200 CC & the paypal though as I was aware of this months ago & told her to pay them as I was most unimpressed at having DCA s ringing me here. Someone called here earlier & asked for her by her first name ... I said they had the wrong number, then did the 141 & called them back an hour later. No company name given, just a blokes name & how could he help me - definitely DCA :mad:.

I dont believe this :mad:. Have just opened her mobile bill that's got sent here (yep, I know that's illegal & breach of trust blah blah blah, but shes damn well using my address to get credit) ... guess what - £98 :eek: she's had to pay 2 months line rental up front & gone over her free minutes by £30.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr :mad:

She's already had 2 holidays abroad this year & could have paid off the overdraft, & CC & paypal by just not going on them.

The loan was actually converted from a CC debt over a year ago - I just didnt find out about it until recently. So, the sad truth is she's learnt nothing, has continued to go on holidays & spend what isnt actually hers.

It took me 7 years, redundancy, a relationship breakdown & consequent debt liability + some naughty clothes & home trinkets shopping to rack up my debt maximum of £6,800. She's done it in under 2 years & still hasnt learned to reign in the spending. It's only been 2 weeks of hardship & she's already moaning about being depressed & miserable & life not being worth living if she cant go out. This type of emotional pressure is very hard for me to ignore & has been used time & time again over the years.

I really think that I have to let her muddle through this & if getting a debt consolidation loan or using a company such as the one I mentioned earlier is what it takes then so be it.

I've worked hard (not hard enough I know ) to reduce my debts by reducing my spending & I think everyone on this board will acknowledge that's the only way to get a grip on your finances.

You wouldnt believe how many times I've tried to do a budget for her & get her to start putting money aside for things like car tax & repairs & yes I am the person who dipped into her car fund & has just had to put £ 140 on her 0% card to pay for the mot :rolleyes:.

I think I'll say the car insurance is a gift ( birthday & christmas taken care of ) but the rest of it she can sort out herself.

Sorry for ranting & thanks for bearing with me

lula
xx

Horace

Lula - is that mobile welded to her ear? I have two mobiles - one for personal use which doesnt get used much - the bill for that is usually around £30 if that and my work one where £50 on Payg will last me 3 months:eek:

If she is constantly in her overdraft - would it not pay her to get a basic bank account with no overdraft facilities and pay her wages into that.

I can remember getting into a massive debt with some credit cards once - note I only say once, I owed about £8K and then I had a car accident and lost my temping job (I was a permanent temp) so I went from a high salary to SSP from the DHSS of £42 a fortnight:eek: I wrote to the companies telling them of my predicament and cut up the cards and gradually paid the whole lot off - it was only much later that I told my mum who was appalled.

I think you need to point her in the direction of MSE or at least get her one of Martin's moneysaving books - having DCAs chasing as well has trying to apply for loans here there and everywhere isnt doing her credit rating any good and I am not sure if it will impact on yours if she has used your address. If she refuses to listen to reason and would rather pay a company a ridiculous fee to get her out of her debts thereby costing her more in the long run then let her get on with it as it is the only way she will learn. If she can't sell stuff on ebay how about she gets up early on a Saturday or Sunday morning and does a carboot sale - or will that encourage her to spend yet more money that she doesnt have. She will have to learn that she has made her lifestyle choice - a life on tick but tick eventually has to be paid for so she will have to cutback on fancy clothes that she probably wont wear and nights out because she can't afford them.

As for the car insurance that can be birthday and christmas presents for this year and next thus that's 4 presents you don't need to buy her.

Don't wreck your own credit rating to bail her out - she is an adult and has to start behaving like one and take responsibility otherwise she will never change.

Feel free to rant away - send me a PM or email if you feel like venting.

Numpty_Monkey

Hi hun
Don't really know what to say, apart DON'T put DD1s debts on your card or take over them in any way,
The overdraft thing sounds like she needs a new bank account thats not linked ,and treat the OD as another debt
Her credit record will be shot now if she is missing payments and having bounced DD's so as a rough guess the consolidation loan will be high end APR,
and as we see on the boards consollidation very rarley works until the underlying problems are dealt with(ask Southern Scouscer)
I wouldn't let her talk to the leech company:mad:
Call any of the debt charities:A

She needs to do a full SOA on there it can work out pro-rata payment offers
Get her to join here or if she wants she can call me if she wants an independent opinion:cool:

I'm going back home today:o but might be back down here next week:shhh:

Lula-Hula

thanks Numpty :A,

I think we're reading from the same map here - agree with all you've said.

Credit already shot - check
Consolidation a bad plan - check
Why pay for debt advice - check
Done a CCCS online debt remedy - check
Dont take on any more debt myself - check ( unless it's the od only & I get to keep the bank card )
Bash head against wall - check
Sleepless nights - check
Ring CCCS today - will do as soon as she gets here

Off to hang washing out, pay wages into bank & then trip to the dentist
back later, hopefully with good news :rolleyes:

lula
xx

[Deleted User]

Hi Lula,

hope you manage to get something sorted for DD1 today, will be thinking of you.

Good luck at the dentist, hope you're not having too much done.

Tea
xx

Horace

Hope the dental trip wasnt too costly and that you didnt need anything doing.

Lula-Hula

Morning all,

I meant to post yesterday but was thoroughly wrung out & ended up doing a Numpty & falling asleep on the sofa .

The trip to the dentist was fine, a quick check up for both DD & myself - no charge for her & only £22 for me. No work necessary but I am having some cosmetic work done on my front tooth which I chipped aged 7 & has been repaired over the years & is due again. It's not strictly necessary but I am very self conscious about it & frankly am happy to pay the £90 on that & regard it as my 'treat' for the rest of the year.

As regards DD1 & her Debt Dilemma ... we have a breakthrough :j.

It was bit slow in arriving though mainly as I had a text from her an hour after her ETA saying that her car wouldnt start :eek:. I could feel my credit card throbbing already but a phone call revealed a lack of petrol might be the cause ... so DD & I whizzed over there, collected DD1 & her petrol can & took her to fill it up. I remarked on her apparent nonchalance at doing this & was informed it was the 5th time she'd done it :rotfl:Car still wouldnt start so after a quick text to my brother we worked out how to use the jump leads that sit in the boot of my car & felt very very proud of ourselves when we got it going :jI should point out that these leads were given to me by a nice man at the local dump one day about 2 years ago. He was chucking them away & asked if I might like them. Thank you to that man :A.

Back to the main story ... DD1 had finally admitted all to her bessfriend who was equally as horrified as me about it & was also very sad that she'd gone on all these holidays & nights out while being unaware of how DD1 was financing it . Being a very sensible girl she advised DD1 to go the CCCS route ( yes, I know that's what I said but she was never going to agree to it if it just came from me :rolleyes:).

She filled in the online application form & said she immediately felt relieved that it was all out in the open & she'd made a start on dealing with it :cool:.
She is awaiting her welcome & info pack now.

The only problem we might have is that her wages are due to go into her bank on the 28th & a trip to the cashpoint & a mini statment reveal that she will still be over her overdraft limit when they go in . This is because of the £200 of charges that have already been applied :mad:. My concern is that she wont be able to withdraw all her wages & have nothing to pay rent, bills & live on for the month. She applied for an account with the co op yesterday but they wouldnt allow her to apply for the cashminder saying it was only for bankrupts & peeps with CCJ's so made her apply for a normal current account & then said there were some problems :rolleyes: & she'd get a call back in a day or so. I've told her to be completely honest as to why she wants an account, as I know the compulsion when desperate is to perhaps bend the truth . She is also under instruction to contact the payroll dept to try to get wages diverted, either to my account or her other empty childhood savings account ... if they go to normal account she will lose about £400 :eek:.

As to the phone bill, turns out she hadnt realised her internet access was only free if off peak, so not the call time as I suspected . "I'm not completely stupid, mother, I never go over my call time ", whoops .

She's determined to do as many shifts as possible now so will probably end up clearing her debts way before I clear mine although I think she has some way to go before fully comprehending what is required to do this. Apparently £150 - £200 a month is perfectly reasonable for 'entertainment' maybe I'm just jealous but I suggested that £50 was more what I had in mind. Frankly anything that prohibits her drinking binges is good from my point of view. She does have this heart problem :rolleyes: & now one of her patients has tested positive for swine flu so I dont think my nerves can take much more.

I really need to have a bath, get dressed & then go collect my new contact lenses & not buy anything else other than casual shoes for DD.

bye for now & thanks again for all thoughts

lula
xx

[Deleted User]

Morning Lula,

Great news that DD1 has finally seen sense and not only has a best friend to kick her in to touch but a kind and caring mum like you. As you say she will probably be debt free long before you but hopefully she will have learnt her lesson.

Tea
x

Horace

Fab news on the dentist and I am glad that DD1 has seen the error of her ways - at least she has listened to bessfriend and with mums well, we always do the opposite of what they tell us to do because we are bluddy minded:rolleyes:

Maybe you need to talk to bessfriend who will be able to persuade DD1 to cut down on the entertainment budget thus freeing up more money for debts...just trying to be devious here. Girlie makeup nights in with homemade pizza and maybe some wine - not gallons of beer and alcopops. Swishing parties are all the rage too so maybe she could get some new clothes for free by giving up some of her unworn clothes.

Good luck to you with your gnashers and DD1 with her debts.

Shoe_Gal

Hi Lula

I'm really pleased you are on the way to getting something resolved for DD1 - hope you're feeling better about it all