MSE Pregnancy Club VII

efrieze

Many labour vibes to you emlou - you are being very patient

searching_me

emlou LOOOOOAAAADDDDSSSS of labour vibes to you looks like theres alot of stubborn bubs in this group x

weezl74

Hiya efieze,

I'm a counsellor (when I'm not on maternity leave!) and my twopennorth is that I think your friends journey towards acceptance of her baby's gender is important, but will probably take time. My advice would be to take it very gently, and maybe just ask questions which help her begin to get her head round this. Things like 'what kind of family life were you picturing with a daughter?' and 'are there any ways that a relationship with a son can hold those elements too?' or even just 'tell me about what feels sad about this?'.

The fear I have for someone who is depressed and hormonal, is that a more straight-talking approach may accidentally sound like you're making a judgement, which could sound like criticism, which will contribute to already low self-esteem, which may well harden her 'no boys' position,. This is because people are more flexible to change when they feel good about themselves.

The other thing I think, is that she will almost definately be feeling lots of guilt about feeling this way. This may lead to strong feelings of shame. If you could say that you're glad she told you, or that you thought it was brave to say it, or something (if that's what you do feel!) then that might really help with the shame and guilt.

Both of those emotions will affect the baby too in her interractions with him, so it's good to soften those if you can.

All the best with this, it sounds really hard.

searching_me

see thats what i love about this website always someone who knows there stuff and is willing to help x

redmel1621

Morning Weezl - did you sleep well:)

emlou - I'm still here. Sending you big labour vibes.

Any news from AF??

Mel x

weezl74

redmel1621 wrote: »

Morning Weezl - did you sleep well:)

ooooooooh yeah baby yeah! Bliss! It were right lovely pet

How you feeling today?

Are things more decided for you about birth options?

Labour vibes and hugs emlou, how horrid that the sweep triggered all this, but no baby yet.

efrieze

weezl74 wrote: »

Hiya efieze,

I'm a counsellor (when I'm not on maternity leave!) and my twopennorth is that I think your friends journey towards acceptance of her baby's gender is important, but will probably take time. My advice would be to take it very gently, and maybe just ask questions which help her begin to get her head round this. Things like 'what kind of family life were you picturing with a daughter?' and 'are there any ways that a relationship with a son can hold those elements too?' or even just 'tell me about what feels sad about this?'.

The fear I have for someone who is depressed and hormonal, is that a more straight-talking approach may accidentally sound like you're making a judgement, which could sound like criticism, which will contribute to already low self-esteem, which may well harden her 'no boys' position,. This is because people are more flexible to change when they feel good about themselves.

The other thing I think, is that she will almost definately be feeling lots of guilt about feeling this way. This may lead to strong feelings of shame. If you could say that you're glad she told you, or that you thought it was brave to say it, or something (if that's what you do feel!) then that might really help with the shame and guilt.

Both of those emotions will affect the baby too in her interractions with him, so it's good to soften those if you can.

All the best with this, it sounds really hard.

A very thoughtful post from someone who has other things to think about. Thanks a lot. She does feel guilty.Perhaps I will approach her this way. Much appreciated.

redmel1621

weezl74 wrote: »

ooooooooh yeah baby yeah! Bliss! It were right lovely pet

How you feeling today?

Are things more decided for you about birth options?

Labour vibes and hugs emlou, how horrid that the sweep triggered all this, but no baby yet.

Glad you feel revitalised now:)

I am going to try and stay at home, but not beat myself up if I do decide to transfer to hospital, and stuff what other people think. Like everyone here has said it is my body, my baby and my birth experience:)

Mel x

emlou2009

i dont feel very patient lol thanks guys.

on a totally different note, i've got a dodgy cookery program on the tv and they cooked prawns, i am completely disgusted by the greyness that they are before being cooked and i will never eat one again!! i honestly thought they were always pink, how disgusting!

emlou2009

redmel1621 wrote: »

Glad you feel revitalised now:)

I am going to try and stay at home, but not beat myself up if I do decide to transfer to hospital, and stuff what other people think. Like everyone here has said it is my body, my baby and my birth experience:)

Mel x

good for you! you will know when you get there what is best for you, theres no way of predicting it or how you will feel when the time comes.